I was recently talking to a girl in my psychology class who told me that she use to be a JW and was DF'd in the mid 1990's. This girl shocked me because usually ex-jws are so unhappy and miserable and spend most of their time complaining about the "evil" WT society. She told me that when she was DF'd alot of ex-jws swarmed towards her trying to get her to "bash" the WT but she refused. She made it clear to me that as long as ex-jws continue to bash the WT they will never move on with their lives. It is unhealththy to continue to bash and bash and bash a group of people expecting them to change. I took a good look at myself and realize she was right on the money. We ex-jws spend so much time bashing the WT or trying to get our JW relatives to change that we in the process kill ourselves. She said when you first leave naturally you are going to be angry and it is good to vent for a while but after years and years it is time to move on. I know some ex-jws that still get all of the Watchtowers and Awakes just to criticize them. Many ex-jws explain it away by saying they are trying to warn the public about the WT and help JW relatives. What is you viewpoint on this subject should we "bash" or not "bash"?
Do you ever think that you will stop JW-bashing and get on with your life?
by booker-t 67 Replies latest jw friends
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kls
Geez that would be wonderful if we could but lucky for her she is not married to one and have seen her mate lose thier mind to a cult or have family still in or being shunned. What should we do just shutup and let them take over and not warn others ? I will never stop as long as i am still breathing.
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SixofNine
Bash! They took everything, so JW-bashing is the only thing to live for, damn-knit. Besides, everyone needs a hobby.
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DanTheMan
I think if your whole identity is wrapped up in being an ex-jw the same as it was when you were a jw, that's when it becomes a problem. That's probably inevitable for those that are freshly out and have nothing but their JW experience to reflect on.
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Sunspot
If she's a student, chances are that she hasn't done a heap-o-livin' yet and hasn't endured all the nastiness that kls mentioned. Apples and oranges in my opinion.
If she was still a child, then NOT being a JW would have more perks and wouldn't be reflected the way we had to deal with things.
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Shania
No don't bash them, live and let live. For your own peace of mind it is best to move on with life, I think she is right. The best revenge on the tower is for all on the out side to be happy and at peace with our lives..............
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tetrapod.sapien
i agree. we have to do something. if all we can do is bash, then so be it. i would prefer to not see myself as an "ex-witness" for the rest of my life, but i may very well.
too much pain, bloodshed and broken hearts.
edit: that's a nice thought shania. makes me think.
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itsallgoodnow
Please not another "get over it" post. This might not be, but that title...
I don't see why those are our only choices. Can't we get on with our life while bashing JWs?
It is unhealththy to continue to bash and bash and bash a group of people expecting them to change.
I suppose that could be true when we are talking about an individual person or family or something, but a religious movement? If it wasn't for the "bashing" on the internet, I would still think most of their beliefs were true, but because of the "bashing" I was able to come around. So I suppose I want to give some of that back.
But I see your point about years and years later... I can't wait for the day I don't think about them very much. But as a fader, that just isn't an option right now.
Happiness and misery doesn't depend on how whether you bash a religion or not. You can be just as miserable without a religion to bash, and you can happily bash a religion.
Thinking you can get your relatives to change is probably going to lead to disappointment. Hoping for the best, maybe. But expecting them to change is going to make a person miserable. I don't see many ex-JWs spending years on this. I would take great satisfaction in seeing this religion shut down, or in seeing my relatives figure things out, but my happiness doesn't depend on that.
People deal with it in different ways. Some people maybe don't need to talk about things. Some people need to talk about them in order to work out their feelings and deal with them in a healthy way. I'm surprised a psychology major wouldn't understand that simple thing.
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jeanniebeanz
What should we do just shutup and let them take over and not warn others ?
Good point. It also depends on each individual's experience. Some are bitter due to extreme loss and will have a harder time getting past the intense hatred of this evil organization. Some were only marginally effected. Lots of people fall somewhere in between. The students smug assessment of ex-JW's speaks volumes to her lack of life experience...
J
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LyinEyes
Why can't we do both, get on with our happy lives and JW bash??