Do not despair, for we are free to remain children of a lesser god if we are too afraid to look beyond it. Perhaps another day.
OUCH!
Are you peeking inside my head??? This---and your concept---is scary! I am referring to a small discussion between me and Brenda on Ian's thread.....where I commented on what she and Merry had written. It started me on a thinking spree (hubby says these are dangerous to me, LOL) and what I've quoted here says it all. Amazing how that works, huh?
I have things I need to think out but yet I'm a bit (okay---a LOT) afraid to pursue certain aspects of what intrigues me for fear of finding myself flung down into a deeper hole than I was for 30 years in the WTS. THAT'S scary enough right there...to keep me from straying into what might be "oddball" beliefs. Have I learned NOTHING after that excursion into the underworld?
MY "truth" right now---is that I've returned to a more traditional belief system, and have learned to read scripture for encouragement and not as a prescribed reading regimen set up by what I consider the Antichrist, or at least workers for Satan.
I am quite comfortable with what I believe in---and who I am at present. I see more in the bible that pertains to me (and the WTS) than I ever did as a JW. I went through a period of not trusting much of anything after I left the WTS. It feels good to be able to put those feelings away and touch base with things I had previuosly put faith in before it was destroyed, and with more depth now.
But every now and again, I get these flare-ups of "what ifs" and something will very much interest me---yet I am reluctant to delve any further into these interests.
I realize I am free to do so, but sometimes freedom of this nature carries such a heavy responsibility.
Hopefully this will not come across as raving, or like someone who's cheese fell off the cracker----but this IS coming from the heart, and it IS scary to contemplate. Funny how I can come here and spill all this---but can't "talk" to anyone I know about it, face to face.
I often wonder if anyone else feels the same.
Annie..........of the "I can't believe I just said that" class