I'm new to the forum and desperate for support

by muse 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • muse
    muse

    Hi everyone

    I will be very brief on my introduction as I need to get straight to the point. I was raised in the 'truth' from birth. I got baptized at 16 (Elder Dad hassled me) and managed to do the 'slow fade' at 18 (it helped that I moved 50 miles away from home). During those 18 years I experienced what most of you have done. No mixing with worldlings, bullying at school, no school activites, the word ending in 1975 (and yes, I was at the 5 day assemblies at Wembley Stadium and heard it for myself - in fact Dad never put any savings aside as there was no point - the new system was just round the corner - the longest corner in history!) Anyway, I have a good relationship with Mum and Dad and they treat my Husband and Son as their own - religion is NEVER discussed and this has worked well for the last 20 years - and now... Dad has been diagnosed with a malignant polyp in the colon which has to be removed. This means open abdominal surgery and of course he will refuse a blood transfusion. I am told this will make the operation extremely dangerous. This is something I have dreaded since I was a small child. I am lurching between thinking that its his decision etc - let him get on with it and then I get so damned angry - its like he is killing himself, and for what - a publishing company masquerading as a 'faith'. Has anyone else been in this situation? Also, is it likely that a 'Hospital Liaison Committee' JW will be there when he has the operation. I do hope not as I am likely to lose control and that would not help matters. I do not want a JW within my sight. I am sorry to be brief but must go now. I will let you know more when I know the date of the operation. Meanwhile, thanks for reading, thanks for any support and many many thanks for this site - which has helped me cope with being me.

  • wanderlustguy
    wanderlustguy

    Welcome. I'm at a loss as to what to say about your situation, but hope for the best for you.

    WLG

  • RichieRich
    RichieRich

    Well, Welcome.

    Sorry to hear about your father. Sadly though, it is his choice.

    Live your life for yourself...

  • Ellie
    Ellie

    Hello and welcome.

    Stick around here, I'm sure you will get lots of support and make lots of new friends.

    I hope everything goes ok with your dad's operation, I'm sure you must be very worried, its frustrating when people wont take medical advice for such stupid reasons.

    My mum had a couple of operations a few years ago, the surgeon actually told my brother that if she refused a blood transfusion she would probably die, but the stubborn thing wouldn't listen, fortunately she was very lucky and is still here today (Jehovah looked after her apparentley).

    Anyway, welcome again.

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Welcome home. Peace & blessings 2U. We're here 4U. Pardon my brevity 2.

    Art

  • PaulJ
    PaulJ

    Welcome to the site muse. Its good to see another brit on here, our numbers are growing!!!

    I would suggest you do all the research you can on your dads op, and see if there are any other options available to him.

    Hope things go well for you and your family.

    Paul

  • stevenyc
    stevenyc


    Hi muse,

    Welcome.

    I am truly sorry to hear your sad news.

    You story is very similar to mine. Raized in the 'Truth', driffed in my late teens/early twenties but managed to still have a great relationship with my parents. My father an elder.

    He died a few years ago, and I was in the room when the surgen told him that it was too late for him to do anything, and the ONLY option remaining was a blood transfusion. He refused.

    During his demise a death the witness at their congregation were very supportive to both my father and mother. And there was no ''Hospital Liaison Committee'.

    I hope this helps a little.

    Stay in touch with this board, ther are some great people here, and it has helped me very much.

    steve.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    muse - welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear of the issue you are dealing with. I hope things go well for your dad. Is there any chance that you could get a few minutes to speak with him privately and calmly discuss the Watchtower changing doctrine on blood logically? Maybe mentioning that what is viewed as 'truth' today will likely change tommorrow? And when it does, just like organ transplants did, it may be too late for him?

    You might find some good thoughts on www.ajwrb.org about the blood issue.

    Thoughts and good wishes with you through this ordeal.

    Jeff

  • Sadie Masokissdick
    Sadie Masokissdick

    First, my heart-felt condolences for you and your dad. I find it impossible to imagine the psychological torment that you are having to endure. I hope that everything turns out well for your dad and yourself.

    I have little to offer you by way of practical advice, since I do not know U.K. law at all, and what the statutes and regulations are for someone in your position. So, I am wondering if it would be possible for you to obtain expert legal counsel in the form of a lawyer (perhaps you they are called "barristers" in England, but I think that you will get my point). I really think that you could benefit from the advice of a barrister/lawyer. It may not be your dad's decision 100%. I mean, you may well have some say in the matter. This is where you could use the services of a a legal professional.

    I'm sorry that this is the only practical advice for you that I can think of at the moment. Again, I hope that everything will turn out fine for your dad and you.

  • skyman
    skyman

    I have presonnaly been there my baby girl needed a transfusion and I would not let the hospital do that. The fact is this at that time I would not have listened to facts so probably your dad wont either. You will be in my thoughts and all of us hear do care. Thanks for posting.

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