I'm new to the forum and desperate for support

by muse 42 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jimakazi

  Hi Muse

  I guess I have just been through a similar situation, my mother needed cancer surgery and there was way she would have blood. [Interestingly the surgon wanted to know which type of JW they were, aparently there are those that will and those that won't]. The surgon repsected that they were of the "won't" variety. The medical liason committee provided some additional imformation the medical team asked for, and that was it. There was no talk at all of the medical committee being at the hospital.

  Anyway the surgery went well, and they called mum wonder woman because of her rapid recovery [shes in her mid 60's].

  At the end of the day any faith is just that, belief without evidence, and as such logical reasoning will not work, so you really only have one chice which is to respect your mum's choice, however nervous you may feel about it. Just let her know that you will support her as your mum no matter what her decision is.

  Good luck
• 

  muse

  Hi again

  I was stunned to see so many responses - thank you all so much. You have all made a lot of sense and the support has been priceless to me. I do agree that it is his decision and I must respect that. I also agree that I have to stop getting wound up over it as it won't do me any good either.

  Dad is 'old school' and will not accept fractions or any type of blood as far as I can tell but when he has spoken to the Consultant and talks to me about it, I will try to find out what his options are. He told me that its in his 'notes' that he is a Witness.

  One amusing thing happened recently - it was Fathers Day last Sunday - and although I know they don't celebrate it, I have always sent cards. I started with my Mum first (she is only really a JW because Dad is) and he moaned. I used the 'excuse' that my Son (and husband) insisted on doing it. Of course he knew it was me but couldn't really say much. I then branched out and sent a small gift to Mum. I then got brave and sent a card to Dad and didn't get moaned at. Anyway, back to last Sunday. I decided to send him a tie - a very nice expensive silk one with glasses of beer on it. It might sound naff but you can't see the lagers until you get close. Well, he rang me up and said it was the best tie he had and it would get its first airing on Thursday night. Even my Mum was surprised that Dad was going to wear it to the meeting. I do hope he doesn't get 'spoken' to for the tie....

  I will definitely keep you all informed on how it goes. Many, many thanks again.

  Muse
• 

  LouBelle

  Welcome Muse.

  I don't have any advise. I know doctors are pretty successful with bloodless surgery. Your best bet would be to speak to the doctors direct & get their imput.
• 

  Pubsinger

  Hi Muse

  Hope everything goes well with the op.

  I thought that was really brilliant how you'd done Mothers and fathers day. Maybe you could try christmas and birthdays
• 

  nelly136

  hi muse, really hope everything goes well with your dads surgery, as you get on so well with your mum and dad at least you'll be able to support them both through this (even tho its soo frustrating)

  www.noblood.org another site that has blood info
• 

  katiekitten

  Hi muse

  your dad's gonna wear that tie with pride! And if the very worst happens you will always know that he loves you to bits. And that is a rare pleasure.

  I hope everything goes well, and he gets to wear his tie until its covered in pen marks and beer stains!
• 

  Quandry

  I am happy to know that you are able to enjoy such a warm relationship with your parents. My dad died last year. He wasn't a witness and we had a strained relationship because at the time I was.

  I hope you will be able to tell your father what he means to you. That should give him a good feeling going into the operation. He will need your encouragement and closeness. You are a good daughter.
• 

  crazyblondeb

  I'm sorry for what you are going thru. It's going to be hard to accept his decision. It'l important to open lines of communication with the doctors and nursing staff. Talk to them before his surgery. If the HLC gets to be too much of a pain in the ass, there are HIPPA laws that can restrict their access. The staff are not required to give them any special treatment. I have dealt with them in the ER and ICU. They presume way too much.

  blessed be,

  shelley
• 

  Wasanelder Once

  I agree with AK-JEFF to a degree; Find out the paramaters that are indicated in this operation, will any of the WT allowed blood components increase his survival rate in an emergency? Read the WT that discusses what is conscience directed and make a push for any of those things the Doctor says would be helpful. SOME ONE HERE CAN DIRECT YOU TO THAT ARTICLE, QUESTION FROM READERS I BELIEVE.

  Bringing apostate material into play this late in the game is just going to upset your Father. He needs peace to fight this disease, the calm heart is a healer. Dont go controversial, just help him see what big Momma the ORganization sanctions and try to see if he will go for it if necessary.

  Take heart, your love for your Father will help him heal more than any wrangling over his bullshit religion at this point.

  I hope the best for him and you.

  W.Once
• 

  Robdar

  Um, this is an old thread.