I'm new to the forum and desperate for support (page 3)

Sunspot

Hello and welcome Muse

I can certainly sympathize with your dilemma, but the one who makes the decsions on this ........is your Dad. As much as we are distressed with ones like this, it cannot be changed.

Delicate operations with great risks do not always turn out badly. Try not to eat yourself up over this because it is out of your control. Your Dad really feels that he is conducting his life and choices in it---according to what God wants of him. That's a pretty powerful force to reckon with, Sweetie.

Look into the options that the posters here have mentioned to you, and then let go of it. Place it in God's hands from there.

hugs,

Annie

Why Georgia

First I am sorry for your pain. I know that doesn't help but I empathize.

My father in law had something similar to your father and they did the surgery without blood. He also just had a quadruple bypass again without blood.

He was fine in both counts but they went to a couple of different hospitals before they found a surgeon who would do the surgeries.

Just try to keep your cool......because remember this is his life and he has to make his own decisions and he is probably at peace with them.

You wouldn't want them making medical decisions for you - would you?

To be completely honest they may be dreading the same thing with you..in other words if you ever got hurt and need a blood transfusion or some other medical treatment the WTS doesn't agree with.

Maybe you can find some common ground in that thought.

Sorry if that seems mean - I am not trying to sound that way.

Frannie Banannie

Welcome to the JWD Forum, Muse. Sorry to hear about your dilemma concerning your Dad's pending surgery.

My daughter underwent surgery when we were still witlesses and naturally, we refused a blood transfusion, which upset the doctors very much. They told us that her iron level in her blood was down and she needed a transfusion before they could even perform the surgery in order to increase her red blood cells. I put her on Folic Acid, which increased her iron level without inundating her with an overdose of iron supplements which could have resulted in that horrid syndrome caused by iron toxicity. Her red blood cells were increased enough for the surgery and we had the doctors use the cell-saver machine that was mentioned in a previous reply on this thread. The cell-saver machine enabled the docs to recycle her OWN blood on the site of the surgery in the OR, resulting in minimal loss of blood.

Maybe you could suggest these things to your Dad, telling him that you don't want to lose him just yet, eh?

Hoping for the best for yall!

Frannie

Goldminer

Hi and Welcome!

I also would recommend that you get the book In Search of Christian Freedom by Raymond Franz and read the chapter on blood.It is quite an eye-opener,I believe every jw should read it and meditate on it.

Keep showing your dad you love him,hopefully some day you can show him some WT errors and you might soften him up to some of these bigger issues concerning blood.

Goldminer

MerryMagdalene

Welcome, Muse~

I'm glad you are here and I am wishing you and your dad all the best! You will find much caring and support here.

~Merry

BluesBrother

Hello Muse and welcome to our community.

Very sad story . But I must agree with those who say that your Dad must be free to chose., Just some thoughts though.

Find out all you can about the condition and the op. Then you can speak as an expert. Your family may respect that.

Ensure that your Dad is aware of all the "fractions" and treatments that are allowable.

Does his hospital have all the best equipment, cellsavers etc that might make the difference?

Above all, do not come accross as the opposer.You need him to listen to you and not dig in his heels

All the very best wishes

Blues

Jahna

Hello Muse, welcome to the board

My heart goes out to you at this time of personal difficulty. It is very hard to watch your loved ones go into the hospital for any sort of operation. Because your belief systems are different from your parents I can understand the dilemma your facing. My own personal bit of advice is this:

Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.

In matters of health care there are so many factors that everyone can’t agree on. Do not resuscitate orders, types of medication, treatment ect are all personal matters. Unless your asked your opinion, you should respect the choices of others in such personal decisions. As much as you don’t agree, wouldn’t pick it for yourself, trust that your loved one has made the best choice for them and really who are we to interfere. If you want to interfere, and not respect this choice, expect that your choices are not to be respected back.

Jahna

Es

welcome to the board. So sorry bout your father, its a tough one, but as richie rich said its sadly his choice, but it does make it hard to respect that. :( es

Netty

Welcome Muse. I am so sorry you are going through this difficult situation right now. My story is similar to yours. My mother also had cancer, and had bloodless surgery. We were very worried, but everything turned out ok. I know how frustrating it can be, and boy can I relate to how you feel about now wanting any JW's around, that was me!

Try to put all that aside right now, focus on your relationship with your father (and mother) only right now, and dont let the dubs bother you. My mother was real, real sure about her decision, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. So, I made up my mind to accept it, and get beyond it.

Btw, my brother also had several bloodless surgeries for a serious car accident he was in, he was in a trauma center and had to have his leg amputated. It took 2 or 3 operations before they were done. All bloodless. Just to give you an example of how bloodless surgeries can be successful, that might hopefully help take the worry off you a little.

Whiskeyjack

Welcome Muse! Please accept my best wishes for a happy outcome for your family. I won't bother adding to the already copious supply of good, actionable advice provided by the earlier posters. Just remember that you'll be there for your dad, even if it means "rubbing elbows" with a bunch of JW's for a short time - this is not the time for fighting.

W.

I'm new to the forum and desperate for support

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