Whats the deal with fading. (page 4)

Wasanelder Once

So many of the Brothers and Sisters, (uh, cough, hack, choke) are there in name only. What they said when they stood and answered thier baptism questions meant simply, "I will join this here club and be good so you can see I'm trying. I will take on the evil world and that old lion Satan as he now goes for that target on the back of my suit of spiritual armour. I know I done bad and this little show will take it all away."

In time it becomes rote behavior and the going is the same as shopping for milk, ya gotta have it or you cant have your cereal. Then again you can always have a bagel. There are always choices. Those who "Fade" have realized its just A CHOICE. No one has authority over them. No one is keeping score. No one is racking up integrity points. Sure the Society has thier little integrity record sheets, ie; Publisher's Service Record card, but these are no longer viewed as valid by the faders. We see them as quaint and controlling piffle that the diehards pin thier hopes on. Forget it. We fade, we enjoy people for who they are and just dont worry if some major point is made by DA'ing or calling some fanatic mindset on the carpet. Those who are sheepishly enjoying thier theocratic lifestyle are welcome to it. "Faders" take thier time because it is in fact THIERS. If you want to make some universal point to the masses, write a letter and tell them to go take a flying flip. I'm enjoying life and using thier own rules to consternate them by living FREE.

hamsterbait

As a kid I used to read Marvel comics, you know, X men Thor all the characters in Fantastic and Terrific.

I feel no need to write letters and phone the offices of those profoundly sacred cartoonists, saying I no longer believe.

Like the "Wind in the Willows" or "Alice in Wonderland" it served a purpose and I moved on.

The DA thing indicates you are playing by their rules. Like the war against the Nazis, it became necessary to FIGHT BY their rules. And boy did Hitler and goebbels not like it!!!

Fighting by their rules is not play. It involves theocrappy strategy. Do the same to them they are trying to do to you. With false or misleading information screw them...

HB

Es

sorry if i missed this but are you baptized???? Coz if your not than no wonder you could be a JW one day and then not the next one...and you can have your family and friends and even the bro and sis still associate with you. Coz as long as your not baptized your not officially a JW and so they can still treat you like any other person as they think they still have a chance to get you to be baptized. For those who do get baptized for whatever reasons if the decide later on in life they no longer want to be a JW they can either D\F or D\A themselves and really break the tie and risk loosing people they love or they fade. Im a fader and the way i see it is that im not following there rules at all.....i should be D\F for how I lead my life but i dont live by there rules i live by my own. es

delilah

I faded because I no longer wanted to be associated with the JW religion. I had been DF'd twice in my younger years, and reinstated both times.....I know the feeling of being shunned and I wanted to be able to have some contact with my family....I just simply quit going, and guess what? The JW's shunned me anyways, but that means nothing to me, my true friends still will speak, the rest can bite me. I can see my family when I want, but that usually means I'll get a preaching to, but when I can handle it, I visit. I vowed that the JW religion would not DF me again....they would not have that kind of power over me . I am a human, deserving of respect, the kind they refuse to give....who are they,???? I want no part of their bull$#%& anymore.....and I am much happier, and FREE. Also, it's easier on my family, that I faded and was not DF'd yet again...(.that's a downer for them as well)

DElilah

evita

I did the fade over 20 years ago. Just didn't want to do it anymore. When I hit the anger stage of my loss, I toyed with the idea of writing a DA letter just to be completely done with it. But my mother was still a loyal dub and I knew she would be devastated so I just kept fading.

Unfortunately, my mom still shunned me for many years even tho I wasn't DA or DF. She died last year after a short illness. She had in-home hospice and was surrounded by witnesses. Because I wasn't formally ousted, I was able to see her without too much trouble. For this reason only, I am glad I did not DA myself.

I hated playing by their rules, but it seems like we can't avoid it until we have no more ties to the org. Now I don't care what happens to me as far as they are concerned. Bring it on or let me be.

Sometimes I hope they come after me, I still have revenge fantasies even after all these years.

Eva

jgnat

Two arguments for the fading side.

Family is a big deal! It takes a great deal of fortitude to give that all up on principle. Many people will not make that sacrifice. A modern example were the dissenters in communist Russia. Many did not leave because they still loved their country, their people, and their families. Either way, staying or leaving, those who have left mentally pay a high price.

Disassociation is a Watchtower invention (probably from Legal) which "proves" to outsiders that members are free to go whenever they please. Also, those who disassociate may not have much of a leg to stand on if they later want to sue the Watchtower for damages. After all, they voluntarily "left".

TRUTH SEEKER

I dont post often, but I wanted to add.......

I just wrote my VERY simple Da letter about a week and a half ago. I said I no longer wanted any contact with the JW's and I wanted to be considered DA'd. I wrote it for me. I did not go into any more explaination than that. I have been "fading" for the past 8 years. I understand what some mean by saying that people who DA themselves are giving in to "their" rules. I felt that way up until I wrote the letter. Now I just feel free. I finished it.

I told my mom about a year ago that I would never be a JW again and that my children would never be subjected to any Dub logic from me or any of my other JW family. She was very upset and cried. She told me that I wasn't being fair and that I should let others take them to meetings since I let my In-Laws take the kids to church. The part I left out was that I was taking my kids and that I have been attending a church for the last year and a half. It has bothered me ever since that I didn't have the nerve to tell her. I especially loved that "not fair" part because once I had a friend tell me that she would go to the Hall if I went to church and my mother said to me back then that she made an "unfair request" to ask me to go to a worldly church. I love the twisted logic.

TheListener

Good for you truth seeker. In the end we all must follow our own course. That course is different for each of us. That is why I appreciate this discussion board. It allows me to view others' viewpoints and ponder different choices in my life that I may not have considered before.

I don't believe I will ever DA myself; but I do believe the congregation will DA me based on my actions (in the future). Once I've faded completely I intend to do whatever I want religiously speaking. Whether that be some form of holiday celebration, attending different churches, learning about eastern religions, etc. These actions, as reported on by my spouse or viewed by those in the field ministry, will be enough for the congregation to take action. As long as I'm kind and gentle and my spouse understands that my love and concern for our marriage is unrelated to my standing as a JW I am not concerned with what the congregation may or may not do.

Whats the deal with fading.

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