What are YOUR Apostapowers, and how do you access them?

Nathan Natas

Hi,

When I intone the words "BethSariiiiiim" I am transformed into my SuperApostate identity of "Satannahtan"

I have the power to

1.drain large Frappuccinos in a single quaff

2. get really, REALLY angry.

What are your powers?

Rod P

I use the power of Visualization. Then I huff and I puff, and I blow their "house" down!. Then I take a match and light the rubble. And, like a Phoenix, I rise out of the ashes and fly away.

.....Huhhh! Somebody wake me? Aww shucks, and it was such a nice dream too!

Rod P.

jeanniebeanz

When I say the Witnoid words, "Husbandly Owner" I become the b*tch from hell...

I freeze solid as marble

My gaze has been known to fry a bug in mid air if it gets between me and my victim

The veins in my neck and temples throb, my fists tighten so that my nails dig into my palms

And, by the time I am done with my war cry, grown men have been known to faint for a span of fifty paces in all directions.

Oh, and I have witnesses to these powers about once a month...

J

Scully

When I hear the phrase "Wait on Jehovah":

I am able to cut through a Watchtower study's worth of Bull$h!t at a glance.

I laugh in the face of those JWs who attempt shun me. It makes them retreat like embarrassed imbeciles. MUAHAAAAHAHAHAAAAA!

Now What?

Hmmm, well my Apostapowers are very much in infancy. I can feel them but can't control them.

However, for about a year now, whenever I pick up the weekly Watchtower I have the sudden urge to do laundry, mow the yard, or sort tupperware. All I can say is I never worry about having clean clothes, the yard looks good and the kitchen is well organized.

OUTLAW

I have the power to make a dam fine "Roast Dub Sandwich".First you gotta get them in the door.Then you wack-em both in the head with a frying pan.You toss one on the BBQ and the other one in the freezer(It`s just not right to waste a dub.Especialy when you dam well know, neither of them are comming back to make a repeat call.)..Cook at 350f for 4hrs, in thier dub clothes(it helps keep them well basted)..A chubby dub will serve about 6 guests,and you`ll still have enough "roast dub" left the next day for the coveted "Roast Dub Sandwich".Which should always be served with cold beer!....LOL!!...OUTLAW

Satanus

That's funny, i turn into natas, when i say beth sariiiim. And, i fly around at night and implant strange commands into the minds of the dubs i know. It's so entertaining floating outside their windows, watching them sleep peacefully, as i do this. And, they think there is an angel watching over them

S

RichieRich

Upon hearing my mother's voice,

I can ruthlessly look an elder in the eyes, and flip him off with my hand in my pocket.

I have X-Ray vision to see through the lies I am being told by old guys in NYC.

I can generate thousands of witticisms to post on the internet.

there's more. but if I tell you- I'll have to kill you.

Now What?

A chubby dub will serve about 6 guests

Uh oh! Umm, I gotta run. cya!

of the 'running for my life' class

RichieRich

Uh oh! Umm, I gotta run. cya!

I know, right?

What are YOUR Apostapowers, and how do you access them?

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