by Nathan Natas 33 Replies latest jw friends
Whenever I hear a dub say "this wicked system of things," I turn in to a smurf and run across stages at district conventions, circuit assemblies and kingdum halls across the globe.
I also actually have the power of GAYDAR. But that didn't come around until after I left the dubs.
CountryGuy
As Mary, Queen of Heaven, I have unlimited powers to use against those irritating me in a large way.......When I hear the term "spiritual foooood" I cast a spell and plant backward masking on all the Society's CD's with messages like "...don't pay for this item---put the money towards a lottery ticket instead..."
I also have coded at the Botchtowers like The Bible Code. If you circle every fifth word, it spells out:
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T-B-I-N-G-O
I have the power to conceal my true identity from others in my congregation. I have the power to appear calm when I'm really pissed off by something I've heard on the platform. I have access to the internet, my greatest ally against the forces of evil and boredom!
I have the power of transmorgification.
When I call out the magic incantation 'we are offering these magazines on a contribution basis only' I am able to change the Witchtower and Asleep into other magazines of local interest such as 'Greengrocer Weekly', 'Prostate News', 'Agri Commerce', 'Asian Babes' and 'Steel Erection Projects Newsletter'.
