If you have more than one suit hanging up in your clothes closet.
YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.
by brandnew 128 Replies latest jw friends
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ctrwtf
you use the term "fleshly brother" -
William Penwell
I found this from an old post of mine 12 years ago,
Just had this sent to me. I am not sure if its being posted before but I got a laugh out of it.
Jeff Foxworthy: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IF....
If "pioneer" is not a stereo, "new light" is not something in the
housewares department and "tract" has nothing to do with land
or farming.
If you know when Nisan 14 of the Jewish calendar lands in the
Gregorian calendar from year to year, and yet you commonly
forget your own birthday.
If "Memorial Day" isn't in May.
If you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and
didn't even have a beer.
If you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same
sentence.
If you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.
If you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the
bathroom.
If you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for four towns around.
If you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.
If you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are displayed
and you feel compelled to knock on them.
If you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable
they will need to be while walking residential streets in 95-degree
heat.
If you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title.
If you have a shelf just for 192-page books.
If you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking
up a pencil or highlighter too.
If you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study".
If you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties".
If, after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not
a mess and you have more food than when you started.
If you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled!! -
brandnew
Bwaaaaaaa haaa haaa haaaa ! ! ! ! ! ! ! -
Brokeback Watchtower
If you think with a childlike mind that generations=1 generation, you might be a hoodwinked Jehovah's Witness slaving for the Watchtower Corporation.
If you go door to door offering a product and nobody's buying it you might be a under achieving vacuum or encyclopedia salesman that needs to get in another line of work or a Jehovah's Witness
If you think the whole world and all the governments are tools of the Devil you are either some kind of insane nut or a Jehovah's indoctrinated Witness.
If you think the Governing Body needs to drop some acid(LSD) and chill out listening Professor Trance and then seriously go see a good psychiatrist about their self serving Bible interpretations you are definitely not a loyal Jehovah Witness but could perhaps in name only and just attend meeting to keep family and friends.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJLhK9qbKDs&list=PL_2DufmM3oD8N8az0TGOKIxAWfCFn52U8 -
cappytan
If you think prayer is an effective treatment for depression, you might be a JW.
If a Winnebago is the last thing you think of when someone says "RV," you might be a JW.
If you owned more than 5 briefcases before the age of 18, you might be a JW.
If stocking up on brochures was part of your "back-to-school" routine, you might be a JW.
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brandnew
If being on a stage in the middle of a baseball stadium is the only time you have ever put on a costume.........
YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.
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JW GoneBad
If one of your religious leaders has a slow, animated way of speaking and he reminds you of a circus clown when he does speak in public and many refer to him as 'GB Lett'....
YOU ARE DEFINITELY A JW!
If your congregation elders recently attended a meeting streamed from New York about a new program for building places of worship because the existing style of meeting places (Kingdom Halls) are too boxie with little or no appeal and have a tendency of deterring and turning new visitors away.....
YOU ARE DEFINITELY A JW!
If you are a lurker here on JWN.....
YOU MORE THAN LIKELY ARE A JW!
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brandnew
@Cappytan..... the RV one was classic bro ! ! ! -
Brokeback Watchtower
If you think Sparlock the wizard toy is evil and makes Jehovah the big guy upstairs sad you most definitely are a dye in the wool high ranking Jehovah's gullible Witness.