by alliwannadoislive 116 Replies latest jw friends
I just remembered the REAL most embarrassing thing that happened to me. I think I've posted it before, but here it is again. At book study, I was about 12, they were talking about circumcision, of the heart, and just plain circumcision, so I raised my hand and asked what it was.
The conductor was flustered, and said, "maybe you should ask your father later." I knew I had done it then. Was my face red? And I didn't even know why for an hour. Then it was REALLY red!!!
Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
God....there are so many....
1. Senile sister gets up and turns the lights off during the middle of the public talk! Brother speaking just kept right on like nothing ever happened, she flips them back on and is standing at the back smiling....like she had discovered electricity or something....she was a freakshow...
2. We were in the service meeting and discussing that scripture in Proverbs...about if you train up your child in the way that is right...they won't turn away from it....Well, she raises her hand to comment and they hand her the mic...she blurts out "Well, if that scripture is so true how come MY son isn't in the truth?" They quickly snatched it out of her hands....
3. Sister Busy-Body who always sits on the 2nd row of the KH gets up during the WT study and goes to the ladies room.....well when she marches her plump but back up to the second row her skirt is tucked into her pantyhose!!!!!!!!! Thought I was going to die.....just about did..I had to get up off the back row and excuse myself....
4.My OWN niece was with me one night and lets a roaring wind of gas break free during the prayer.....LOUD!
5.Mentally disturbed sister who ran out of her medication, had been out trying to get in people's cars during the meeting, which she attended in shorts, she comes back into the KH and won't sit down, one of the elders gets up to talk to her and she spreads her legs wide and crunches down in a wrestling stance and says. "C'mon Abner!", (his name was Abner)...
6.Heard of a middle-aged sister body slamming her step mother in the parking lot of the KH after the meeting.....Kicked her ass good and proper!
Don't think this compares to the other stories, but since I've only been to 4 meetings so far I thought it was funny. The speaker begins to talk about how we should visit those who are to sick or handicapped to make it to the meetings and are only here via phone. Meanwhile 2 of the people he mentions were sitting there at the meeting. So much for keeping tabs on the members
As a young man while pioneering I was out in service with three married sisters and a curmudgeonly elderly man who had been a witness for many years. Out of nowhere this old guy decided to tell a joke. I can't remember the specific joke but do remember that it had something to do with large penises and foreskins. The joke was actually sidesplittingly funny, but no one in the car laughed or said a word.
Soon after that one of the married sisters was disfellowshipped for adultery. Perhaps the joke pushed her in that direction. Probably not.
This happened years and years ago.
A brother in the Linda Vista congregation had meant to say.
"Let's take a break for intermission", but instead said.
"Let's take a break for intercourse"!!!!
Slayers story reminded me of one my brother-in-law said happened at his hall. The brother put the microphone in is back pocket. During the reading of the paragraph during the WT study he had really bad gas so decided to go into the second school and proceeded to let one rip. I guess it was quite loud and long. When he came out, his wife let him know what happened. He was quite embarrassed to say the least.
Another story comes to mind of a friend of mine that was reading the paragraph at the book study when studying the Creation book. Instead of saying organism, the word orgasm came out of his mouth. It took everything we had to keep from busting out laughing.
"By doubting we come at truth" -Cicero
Hey! I heard the post about "pain in the rear" a while back, and here it is again. I was wondering who posted that story a long time ago, because believe it or not, I was there during that meeting. It was at the Bear Valley congregation and the brother who did it was the circuit overseer. I just can't believe how the heck it got onto here. That amazes me. I can't remember the CO's name, but he was a hilarious guy, and always brought comic strips to the meetings to use during his talk.
I also just thought of this funny story. There was a sister at my most recent congregation. I don't know if she was handicapped or just didnt' speak good English. But nobody could understand her, and it was the funniest gibberish i've ever heard. This was bad in itself, trying to contain this laughter. You could always see people chuckling. But here's the worst part. She would answer until somebody took the mic away. She could go on and on, with nobody understanding a word. Nobody ever said, "Sister ****** brought out a good point", cuz nobody every understood her. And after five minutes, just after you'd think she was done talking, and the mic started leaving her line of site, she'd grab it back and start talking again. LOL! I couldn't help but laugh sometimes.
"No cool quote yet. but i'll think of one soon."
Soy!
I was wiping the tears from my eyes now! Thanks for the long belly laugh.
My most embarrassing thing actually happened at the KH during my sisters wedding. Before we were to walk down the isle, I was very nervous. And when I am nervous my bladder goes into ultrasensitive! I went the the restroom 10 times in 15 minutes I know. Well, they let me go one more time, and I was in a rush. I forgot to pull up the floor length bow, and it got a little bath. I was so red walking down the isle with my pretty bow soaked, just knowing everyone knew how it happened.
So I am walking down the isle nervous as can be, when a very loud whisper filled the hall. There was an elderly man who was hard of hearing, and destined to marry me. He proposed I don't know how many times. I was always nice to him, he seemed so alone, he must have mistook that. So he "whispers", "That one right there is the prettiest of the whole bunch." He stood there smiling with a look of pride in his eyes. I died! I started laughing along with the rest of the hall. My sis was upset she thought I did it on purpose. Of course I curtailed my convos with this man...lol
wendy
In a controversy the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves.
