most embarrasing thing ever at a meeting ...

by alliwannadoislive 116 Replies latest jw friends

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  Princess

  My husband has a good story about an embarrasing moment in service. He was at the door with a really old brother who after offering absolutely everything he had in his bag to the homeowner, bent over to pick up something he dropped. Of course he let out a big fart. He then stood up and said "wherever you are let the wind blow free, the holding back of wind will be the death of me." Then he explained he read that on a grave stone. The homeowner was in shock. The prince found it sidesplittingly funny.

  Princess
• 

  waiting

  Long time ago, there was this neat 80 yr old woman in our hall, quite heavy. She couldn't drive anymore, so an elder & wife took her to all meetings. She also lived in a second floor apartment, going up a flight of stairs. The brother would always walk her to her apartment door.

  Going up the narrow steps, she would go first, he would follow. One day, she's half way up, and her underwear drop down to around her ankles. He's right behind her - literally. She bends over - from the waist (as old women are prone to do) and pulled up her panties.

  He said he just stood there in amazed silence. He really didn't want to be that intimate with the old woman. Neither of them ever mentioned the incident to each other, just kepting walking up the stairs like nothing happened.

  ************

  A little boy was sitting with his mother - and passed gas, really loud. His mother was overweight with a huge bosom, huge. She started to silently giggle - looked like balloons jogging. Then those around her giggled. Then the boy looked at his mom and started swooshing his arms back and forth saying "stinky, mommy, stinky!"

  We all lost it then.

  waiting
• 

  soylibre

  Mommy, the little elderly sister who doubted the validity of the scriptures in Proverbs was a trippppp.....she used to make us all laugh so hard...especially in service....

  One time in the meeting for field service they were talking about taking accurate house to house records.....she raises her hand and asks the brother...."Well, what are you supposed to do if ya can't write? My hands are too shaky!" He says, "Sister, maybe you should take one of the younger ones with you (teens) so they can write for you!" She replies...."Not from this worthless bunch, they'll have my call book all messed up!"

  She used to always get a hamburger from Wendy's for lunch....meat, bread and ONIONS....then an hour later she would say...."I smell onions....how rude to eat them and come out in service....Who ate those onions????"

  She would always accuse who ever was working with her of trying to steal her calls.....one time I was in the car with her and a brother and she left him at the door and got back in the car....said..."There that Corey goes again....stealin' my calls...that's dirty!"
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  claudia

  soylibre, you have no idea how i am enjoying these stories, thank you and try to remember more!
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  Mulan

  Here is a dandy!! An old family friend went into the circuit work in the South. He came back on vacation in about 1976 and told many stories. This one was the best. In one KH, while he was giving the public talk, he witnessed a little toddler, who was making a lot of noise, and going from one row to the next, evidently visiting all of his family, there. One older sister, not related to him, signaled him, with her finger to come to her. When he ran across the aisle to her, she hauled out an enormous breast and began to nurse him. The brother said it was probably a full minute before he regained his composure to carry on with his talk. He said things were really "loose" in the South back then.
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  felix a

  I know of one very enthusiastic Bethelite who was giving a part on the service meeting about appreciating our meetings. During the course of his part he proceeded to speak about how the world has all these acronyms that they use and he rattled off a few of them, including the well known "T.G.I.F.". This of course brought him to what would soon be a very memorable moment for all those who were attending the service meeting at this particular Bronx KH. You see our enthusiastic young friend had dreamt up an acronym that would be special for the Lords people to use as their own. For surely we can say that we are, "S.H.I.T." yes, you've read correctly. We can say that we are, 'S'ure 'H'appy 'I'ts 'T'husday.
• 

  Simon

  Our hall had a very large sister and she was sat with her husband and two teenage boys (both rather gimpish).

  Well, during a quiet moment in the meeting, the sister bends over to pick up a book from the floor and lets out the loudest fart you have ever heard. The cheap hard plastic chairs we had probably amplified the sound too.

  Her husband, to save her embarrassment, come up with a quick plan and decides to blame one of the kids and make sure everyone knows the 'official line' that it wasn't his wife by slapping one of the kids on the head and exclaiming his name. This wouldn't have fooled anyone, least of all those in the rows behind who were chuckling away but what really scuppered it was the young lad saying, very loudly, "but it was MUM !".
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  qwerty

  A very badly behaved kid at our Hall would not be quite in the public talk. It was around Christmas time of the year too. The dad could not control him, so the he decides enough is enough and drags him out the Hall. With a loud voice the young lad shouts "And a
  
  Out of the mouths of babes!
  
  qwerty
• 

  ozziepost

  Sunstarr,

  I think we're in the same cong !

  BTW welcome here to this happy place/

  Cheers,
  Ozzie

  "There are two ways of moving men, interest and fear" Napoleon
• 

  hedPE

  lots of memories of farts here ...