by Check_Your_Premises 40 Replies latest jw experiences
Hey Billgoat,
I know what you are saying. His answer to the abandonment is if we would all just come with him we would be together as a family. Ugh! Real quality time there! Sit and listen to a load of crap, keep our mouths shut and put doilies on our heads. (or however that works) Sounds grand!
Carla,
Yeah, I got that one to. I was able to relate it to an experience early in our marriage. I was finishing our basement so we could sell the house before interest rates rose. It really took up most of my time (and incidentally this is the distraction that helped keep me from seeing the JW freight train headed my way).
Anyway, I asked her why she didn't hang out with me when I was working. The obvious answer was that it wasn't hainging out. She would have been sitting there watching me cuss and work. I paralelled that to the KH experience. It is not like I get to talk to her or look at her. I mostly just end up wrestling with my bored toddler the whole time. NOt my idea of quality family time.
I would rather go fishing together!
CYP
I know of an unbelieving wife on this forum that will appreciate the comments from other unbelieving wives... so keep em coming!
-ithinkisee
PS: CYP ... you get bonus points for using the term "cock-block" in a serious thread. Kudos to you!
And the other thing to ask him Carla, is even if you are "bad" for not following him, does that mean he has no obligation as your husband to try to lessen any consequences (for instance loss of family time) that are incurred by him doing the "good" thing?
It does not! Morality is choosing between right and wrong. Reality is dealing with consequences of actions, which is costs vs. benefits. They are not the same thing!
I hate that jw attitude!
"I am doing the right thing here, so if it ruins everything you worked your whole life for that is to bad, because I am right and you are wrong for not joining also!"
PS: CYP ... you get bonus points for using the term "cock-block" in a serious thread. Kudos to you!
heh heh.
A while back someone (Terry I think) asked us to describe ourselves in two words.
Mine was "Serious Irreverance"
I love you guys - where have you been all my life!!
(((sincere thanks)))
Backatcha WP,
I am planning a victory/deprogramming tour for when my wife da's. I am going to take her on a trip to meet all the friends I have made on this site, and who helped me free her mind, so we can thank you all personally.
So far it looks like I am headed to Arizona, some places in Canada?, North Carolina.... and I am sure I will have to check out all the UK apostates. If for no other reason than I just know they know how to drink!
Here's to the CYP Victory Tour 2006?
Back to business
Any advice for the ladies here WP? I know you have been at it awhile? How do you get past the betrayal, so you can actually help your brainwashed, nitwit of a husband?
CYP
CYP - that trip might be the incentive she needs!
What do I do? I don't even know.
I think there is alot of disassociative stuff going on. Like stepping outside yourself.
Like the pre-cult vs. cult personality that we regularily deal with
I've had to adopt similar.
Cook good dinners, be attentive in the bedroom, the house tidy, etc all keep the appearances that everything is fine,
which keeps him happy. He does the same - so everything must be fine. We're great room mates.
If I don't think about it I'm ok.
I am FREE to be ME almost everywhere & with everyone except the one person I want to be closest to.
That hurts to my soul, knowing it is mutual in public & on paper, but not in practice.
It gets tiring and I feel cheated.
Exactly what Willpower said! carla
Wow CYP,
You hit the nail on the head with that post... You're exactly right about women feeling like they're losing their husband's intimacy to the organization. Fortunately for me, I was 'in' myself for our entire marriage, so I know all the dubs he's spending his time with. But recently I have found myself getting jealous (if you can call it that) of the time he spends with the JWs in service, at meetings, especially time he is at elders meetings. I wonder if he and his mother (fanatic JW) are talking about me and my lack of dubby-ness.
He used to come home from the meetings and say, this person says hello, that person said to say they miss you.... He never does that anymore. He never talks about what happens at the meetings, and it bothers me. And it annoys me that it bothers me, because I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS AT THE MEETINGS!!!! But you're absolutely right... it's the intimacy that he now shares with the JWs, and which he's cutting me out of, that bothers me.
What do I do about it? Patience, patience, and more patience. Many on this forum have said that living well is the best revenge. I am happier than I can ever remember being. I feel at peace with God, I feel sooo much less pressure and guilt, and I'm sure it shows. My husband can't help but notice it. In the meantime, I am preparing my 'defence', should he ever be ready to listen to what I have to say. I have piles of info printed out on 607/587, the cross vs. the stake, the Trinity, etc, etc. I have started 'rehearsing' out loud, thanks to the suggestion of one poster here. I don't know what it will take to get him ready to listen, but if he ever is, I'm going to be ready to give him an earfull....
I have more thoughts but hubby just walked in.... sheesh..... Thanks for this thread!!
GGG
