by ginger77 34 Replies latest jw friends
Please, huge warning, if you're an angry ex-JW, save your bs advice, I dont' need to hear you put JW's down just to give advice.
I was raised a JW & am still bitter over injustice growing up at the hands of my elder father, and bitter over the abuse of my ex-husband.
I miss my fam, I miss peace, I miss a sense of belonging.
Any advice on how to gain inner peace w/o selling myself out?
Ginger
Officially i'm still a witness in good standing. I dont know what you mean by "selling out" but if you dont want anything to do with the orgo, i suggest you find something else that fills that void in your life. Volunteering perhaps?
Returning for the right reasons is of utmost value. I have become 'stronger' & would hate to return for the wrong reasons.
Other religions don't phase me in the least. But...getting over anger as a result of injustice is something very, very hard to swallow. Maintaining who I am is vital...and I'm not sure how to do it.
Volunteering? yes, fabulous idea. I've often considered, just never pursued.
Thanks!
I was raised a JW & am still bitter over injustice growing up at the hands of my elder father, and bitter over the abuse of my ex-husband.I miss my fam, I miss peace, I miss a sense of belonging
Ginger,
Welcome to the board. Just an observation here. Your two sentences seem a bit contridictory. I mean, you say that you want inner peace but you miss an unjust childhood and abusive relationship? Care to expand a bit?
I can't answer you in a way that you would currently find useful, Ginger. How about unconditional friendship instead? Welcome to the board.
Volunteering is an excellent idea.
You get to meet passionate people who see there is more to life than "selfish" pursuits. Don't panic, that isn't directed necessarily at jws....
My job entails volunteers and they are all good people.
I also volunteer taking care of a section of National Park.
It is deeply satisfying to make a tangible difference
Ginger, welcome to the board! I understand what you are trying to say. When one moves away from the Witnesses there are a lot of conflicting feelings and anger is quite normal. I had to have almost a year of therapy after I left.
After being away from it for four years, I'm a lot happier and there's less anger. When I look back on my childhood I realize that there was good and bad, but the good had to do with the people I knew, not the religion. And the bad people would have been bad even without the religion -- the religion's rules merely gave them a justification for their badness.
A support group for abuse victims might help as well. It sounds like you've been through a lot.
Hugs,
Nina
Any advice on how to gain inner peace w/o selling myself out?
1. Make a list of the things that are very important to you. Why are they important?
2. Imagine an ideal life for yourself five years from now. What are you doing? What would you have to do now to get there?
3. You can't force others to fix themselves. If your father is broken, he will likely stay that way. Come to terms with your past. That will eliminate the bitterness.
4. Selling yourself out will never give you inner peace.
From my experience, JW's are taught to let life happen to them. After all, the bad stuff is all Satan's fault. Also, every JW is given the same ambition; magazine sales for paradise earth. I am suggesting you grow your own dreams and your own ambitions. Take charge your life and let go of the past. This is the fastest way I know to gain inner peace and contentment. It may or may not include your extended family, depending on how flexible they are.
By the way, I am not a JW or ex-JW. I am a regular Christian married to one.
You must realize that people will let you down. But God will never let you down. Many of the troubles people here have had with the WBTS have been people issues and procedural issues, some interpretational issues.
But alot here still love God and are great people.
It a real individual thing....which religion you choose. There are dissappointments in every religion.
If your focus is on the people, you will be dissappointed.
Jesus did not focus on people, he focused on his father.
Take your time and read here and relax.
Many opinions are expressed here and so it is a good education.
Welcome and enjoy.
Everything will work out and you will be fine.
anewme, I will forgive you because you have not been exposed to many different religions. I always look for the fruit of the spirit in a church before I join. If it's not there, I don't join.
