Watchtower History in Haiku

by Leolaia 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Leolaia

  Thanks, everyone!! I thought it was worth posting in my own thread. Kinda gives a nutshell view of WTS history, covering all the main subjects. I like how some of them came out...really funny, LOL. My favorite: Hello scarlet beast / Can I be your friend, U.N.? / Need library card.

  ackack....I tried fixing it, but the editing time limit has apparently already passed.

  Hondo....I used the stereotypical 5/7/5 format, repeated over and over in thematic strophes. If you've read some of my old posts, you may know that I like Burma Shave poems, and the laconic style I used is a little reminiscent of Burma Shave signs....such as the following:

  Train Wrecks Few
  Reason Clear
  Fireman Never Hugs
  Engineer
  Burma Shave
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  AllAlongTheWatchtower

  knocking at my door

  you want a bible study?

  take heed, answer not

  my wife, this advice

  alas she did not take heed

  and so I must fight

  need information

  I find J W D

  the battle begins
• 

  misspeaches

  Can I just say WOW!

  Seriously how long did that take you? Amazing. Succinct.
• 

  Leolaia

  misspeaches....I think I wrote it all in about two hours one evening.

  It just struck me that it has a Billy Joel "We Didn't Start the Fire" vibe to it too.
• 

  Oroborus21

  
  Howdy,

  You wrote a nice poem. Not to rain on your parade but to be most polite your poem could at best be described as "haiku-like".

  Your poem really doesn't have any of the elements of a real haiku form of poetry. It seems more like just regular unmetered verse.

  See this excerpt from Wikipedia:

  Because of the great number of different views and practices today, it is impossible to characterize any current single style or format or subject matter as definitive "haiku." The term has broadened greatly in modern usage to cover any short verse descended in spirit from the reforms of Shiki. Nonetheless, some of the more common practices are:

  1. Use of three lines written in five-seven-five English syllables;
  2. Use of three (or fewer) lines of no more than 17 syllables in total;
  3. Use of metrical feet rather than syllables. A haiku then becomes three lines of 2, 3, and 2 metrical feet, with a break or pause after the second or fifth;
  4. Use of the "one deep breath" rule: the reader should be able to read the haiku aloud without taking a second breath

  nice work anyway,

  Eduardo Leaton Jr., Esq.

  PS: Ah ok, I read it as one long poem the first time. now I see it is comprised of 3 lined segments that just happen to lay next to each other. Still I prefer my Haiku to be about Nature so it doesn't quite work for me.
• 

  Honesty

  I loved it.

  No wonder I was in therapy for 2 1/2 years.
• 

  Leolaia

  Eduardo....Part of the problem is the HTML formatting which treats line breaks (i.e. <BR>) as paragraph breaks (i.e. <P>). In the original version that I submitted, it was very clear that these were in groups of three, each group marked off as a separate paragraph. But unfortunately each line gets spaced equally by the forum software for some unknown reason, obscuring the fact that there is actually a series of 3-line strophes.
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  M.J.

  best thing about a haiku--say much in few words.

  I loved it.

  Great work!
• 

  Hondo

  Leolaia,

  I must apologise. I had to read you posting several times. Read as it should be read however, your "many" Haiku's (each three lines of ~7/5/7syllable construction) became very clear and distinctive, and like I mentioned before, very nicely done. I see, in just about every group, that any one Haiku could probably stand on its own, with its own thought or idea clearly defined. Your design of many, in the sequence you have constructed, is very smooth and even flowing. Again, nice job.

  Hondo
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  Kenneson

  Well done. And so true!