well they did not reinstate me!! dont know how i feell! (page 4)

unbeliever

cordelia,

Your heart obviously is with your BF and this new life that you want so bad. funkyderek is right. chances are slim to none that you can have both.

LittleToe

Regards to your mental health, I'll pass on a little snippet of advice that a [real life] friend gave me shortly before I separated from my wife.

The friend had suffered a nervous breakdown in the past, and he knew the strain I was under and could see how it was taking a toll on my physical health. Things had gone downhill slowly, so I was unaware of how low I'd sunk, but he could see.

He said "Ross, if you break mentally you'll never be the same person again".

I finally realised that I was staying in a situation/marriage that was wearing me down and was ultimately going to break me (and my JW wife). Three days later we separated, and I grieved for at least three months or so, but I got stronger every day.

Both times I met you you seemed driven to distraction (and you weren't looking at me at the time ). I would pass on the same advice - If you break mentally, you'll never be the same person again - don't do that to yourself! Make your choices, and get some relief.

Cordelia

thanks little toe i know u are right its funny how i always thought i would never be unbalanced mentally but i do think i am getting there! i appreciate what u said i just dont know what to do about it!

old soul your comments have really helped too, my dad will focus on the hope for the future i know that, ive already said about the un and 607 and the fact that altho dfing may be in the bible, that i really dont agree that shunning is , have u anything dead good i can tel him, that he cant answer just with the bible,

dfed i understand what u are saying but i have not left jehovah the society are nothing to do with him i still love God but feel decieved by evil little men who talk crap.

OldSoul

Cordelia,

Shadow, an elder who posts here, has attempted twice to answer a series of four questions of mine using only the Bible. I have yet to see one single Scripture that demonstrates any of the four teachings to be true. On page four of this thread, I posted a series of Scriptures for Toreador that strips the notion of God appointed authority from any religion.

Maybe this will help you: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/98798/1.ashx

No one can show you Scriptures to prove what the Bible doesn't prove. That's why we are always encouraged to quickly get a Bible student into using a publication, the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses cannot be learned from just the Bible. The Bible doesn't teach these things.

Respectfully,
OldSoul

Cordelia

thanks old soul i will have a look at that link before i see my dad. im abit torn coz i want to show him my reasons for not believing but i know what hell say, 'what other religon teaches gods name, and preaches and knows about the resurrection etc,'

thing is thats exactly my point, they assume all that is true just coz the watchtower says it is,

its hard to win with these people!!

any help off anyone esp about the bible not telling people to shun there family would be much appreciated,

LittleToe

My sister's first experience of church was a moderate evangelical church (not Fundamentalist).

She was so excited about the experience she called me (and I need to add here that I never encouraged her to go - she did it entirely of her own volition).

She said (and I paraphrase, but fairly accurately): "It was completely different to what I expected. There were no crosses or icons or anything, the preacher talked about witnessing and used the name Jehovah, the songs were lovely and the preaching did something for me..."

Now my sister has only been to church maybe two or three times since that (in about three years), so it should be obvious that I'm not pumping the religion angle, but it does go to show that there's a wide range of beliefs out there, and the JWs aren't as unique as they'd like to think!

Of course JWs would ignore that experience as not being possible, but that's their loss...

Cordelia

little toe that is a really good comment, one of the things my dad said (i have told him about c of c and everything) is 'even if the society have been wrong they are the ONLY religon that uses jehs name and preaches and fits the requirements of the f and d slave,'

he actually had me wondering if it was the truth after all and i am making a terriable mistake!!

so its great that you said that, thanks i need to be sure of my decision, tijkmo said to me once 'theres nothing worse than being caught in two minds itll drive you mad' and im realising how right he is,

Sirona

There are other religions who use Gods name. See here for one example http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/sbs777/vital/snames.html

Sorry I didn't see this thread earlier, I was away in the week (as you know).

As others have said, you can only be true to yourself. Try to stop lying to your dad and whoever else asks you about what is *really* going on. It is difficult but the best path in the end,

Sirona

Cordelia

i saw my dad on fri he took me to where we grew up and a country park where we used to play as kids. felt really sad, as i feel i have found out things that will never let life be the same for me again,

i want to tell my dad about my boyfriend, but we were abit shaky when i saw my dad and so i only said abit to him, and later got a letter off my mum saying whatever i do just dont lie to them and if im not going back for jeh theres no piont! (thats what i thought my dad would say but he just wants me back so bad!)

im so confused i was willing to tell them everything about my bf but i know that will mean them not speaking to me at all and things havent been fantastic between me and my bf so i didnt want to lose my dad, but i think i shoould keep the issues seperate i dont think i want the 'truth' anyway, so why am i trying to get reinstated? but on the other hand me and my bf have been thru so much and i dont ever want to lose him so maybe i should come clean about him and then we can giave it a proper go (because theres always my guilt with my dad etc looming over us) and its hard to be a stressfree normal couple like my bf deserves,

but my dad is ringing me all the time and ive told him not to now and i hate seeing him hurt coz he really is trying to do the best for me, hes printed off loads of typical apostate questions and is going thru them with me, is there anything i could ask him that he relly cant answer??

AlmostAtheist

is there anything i could ask him that he relly cant answer??

No. A JW is trained to have an answer for everything. If you don't agree with the answer, then YOU have a deficiency of some kind. You're not being reasonable, you're being influenced by apostates, you're prideful, you don't recognize the authority of the faithful and discreet slave, something. But there is always an answer. OldSoul has some good questions, but most JW's would happily answer them without even realizing they have entirely failed to do so.

I remember going through this when I first got out of the Watchtower. I tried so hard to find a way to play on both teams. I kept asking the forum for ideas on how to "game" the system so I could slip through the cracks and not get DF'd, or get sprung on a technicality. But in the end, I either needed to live my life, or live for the appearances the JW's needed from me. I chose to live and let whatever happens happen.

You're right to separate your "get reinstated or not" decision from your "will my boyfriend and I stay together" question. If you and the bf don't work out, it's safe to say there will be another one. No man is going to want to live under the cloak and dagger arrangements that getting reinstated would force you into. "No, we can't go to THAT restaurant. All my father's friends eat there and they'll see me with you." Ouch!

Good luck, Cordy. Be as happy as you can be.

Dave

well they did not reinstate me!! dont know how i feell!

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