Losingit, it takes a great deal of hard work and courage to do the type of introspection that you did upon leaving the JWs. I applaud you for that!
Upon looking back on my JW youth, the thing that bothered me for such a long time, and still does on occasion, is my own intellectual laziness. I’m embarrassed by it. When the answers are right there in black and white for you to underline and/or highlight, it is difficult to train yourself to think critically, especially when you aren’t even aware that critical thinking is a skill that you are missing. I think of how much better I could have done in school, including college, if I could have developed this skill more. I also think of how much better/smarter I could be today. So my challenge has been to forgive myself and leave the past behind, and to continue to strive to be a better person and to learn as much as I can about myself and the world.
Additionally, I remember being very pessimistic. I recall being in field service car groups and we would always talk about something awful that we heard about on the news. I guess it was part of the “looking forward to paradise” talk, but I don’t wonder why later I became deeply depressed. It was partially from my ex that I learned to be more of a realist and less of a pessimist. Now I would say, if the three were on a spectrum with pessimism to the far left, realism in the middle, and optimism on the far right, I am more often than not, just to the right of realism. If anything, I find myself sometimes too far to the right of realism and have to dial it back down. I don’t find myself too often on the pessimism end, which has done wonders for my mental health.