Posts by GoUnion

12

tough year

by GoUnion in

hello everyone just wanted to give a litte update on my leaving jws.

i was an active ms up till the beginning of this year and things were going pretty good up till now.

my wife is active and that has been tough but we were managing.. two months ago my older brother passed of a sudden heart attack.

hello everyone just wanted to give a litte update on my leaving JWs. i was an active ms up till the beginning of this year and things were going pretty good up till now. my wife is active and that has been tough but we were managing.

two months ago my older brother passed of a sudden heart attack. he left behind a wife and two young children. he was quite a bit older then me so i didnt grow up with him during my teenage years and he was inactive in my early 20s, so i was never as close as i felt i should be. we started to reconnect a litte bit the last few years as i moved closer to him, but this has been a shock that i am really having trouble dealing with. im not an emotional person and cannot remember the last time i've cried but during the week after his death i really had trouble keeping it together, crying often.

i feel so bad for my sister in law and my neices, i live a few miles from them thankfully, but i still feel like i can never be over enough. i am having a hard time finding a balance between work, taking care of myself,(my brother had high bp, and so do i, its genetics, im in fairly decent shape), and taking care of daily affairs, and having a social life.

then, fast forward to this week, my wife and i will be going through a divorce. she has a had a hard time with my changes, she has listened to some of the facts i have shared with her, but, utlimately was not convinced. we had a calm discussion, but both came to the conclusion we are going seperate ways. is it better to get a divorce when you don't hate each other, but simply want to avoid the inevitable conflicts?

i dont fully know how i feel about this idea of divorce. clearly i am not the man she married, we both have different goals, and we are fairly young to start over in life. my main concern is my wife during this transition, she works, but makes barely enough to surivive on her own. we have talked and neither want to get lawyers involved but, i feel i need to help her financially still because i feel responsible for the break up. it seems to be the only solution, and if i am completely honest i think i need to sever all ties with this organization. at the same time i never intended to hurt anyone, and it makes me ill to think i might make my wife struggle in life now.

yeah, it has been a difficult last two months, i would appreciate any advice you have. this forum has been very helpful.

99

New development in my life

by EdenOne in

jw
friends

no longer a ms ........................... can't give details atm, for it might be a dead-giveaway and it ain't quite over yet.

but, it really taught me one thing: if you're trying to fade or stay in, trust no one.

and i mean no one.. eden.

GoUnion

when you are able to talk I would enjoy hearing the whole story. My wife is in, I would love to hear what you did to help your wife decide to leave.

i wish you well, good times are ahead for you.

20

Conversation with 4 elders: A study in smear tactics.

by problemaddict in

bucket shop bill has a thread in which they are "counseled" for something, that ends up not even being true.

instead of the elder who made the accusation apologizing to them, they are made to feel like they should appreciate his overexuberence.. it struck me that this is a common tactic.

here is a story of my own.

GoUnion

did you come up with point #2 just like that, spur of the moment? I am envious of your quick thinking well done!

69

Said from the platform: "You are not surviving Armaggedon if you are spiritually weak"

by Daniel1555 in

today i was at the meeting (i go there about once a month now).

in the service meeting they had a part where they interviewed the secretary of the congregation.. so one question was: "why are the service reports so important?".

our secretary explained that the reports are important, because the elders can see, who is spiritually weak.

GoUnion

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

13

3rd Update on Fading

by wallievase in

jw
friends

ok well i have updated you about the dilemma about my wife and family and more recently about the elders trying to schedule a shepherding call.. on our way back from th international convention she basically told me if i were to leave that we should go our seperate ways.. so i took a few days and thought about it.

it seems she was more mad about my waffling back and forth and going to the hall sometimes and just not making up my mind.. today i gave her a proposal- i will stop going all together unless it it an assembly or convention or memorial for her.. we will not discuss religious topics, as this is where most of our arguments have been centered around, at all.. we will support all of each others endeavors besides religious intrests.

i will talk to my family and let them know my intentions without getting into an details next month because my mother keeps calling me about it.

GoUnion

I'm in the exact same situation, try your hardest not to push too hard. You will make far more progress when she sees you are happy and free. She will eveenthly start asking you a few questions at a time, keep it sweet and simple.

its been working for me.

48

Surreal experience last night.

by objectivetruth in

recently a jw friend that my wife & i knew 3 years ago added me on facebook, after i accepted the request she invited me to a dinner that her and her husband are holding next month.. i imagined that she was unaware of our apostasy, so i declined the invitation on the basis of not wanting to ruin her dinner after the rest of her guests fled at our presence.. i'm never sure how old friends will react when i tell them that i'm no longer a jw.. usually their response is "..... permanent-silence......".

her response went something like this, " we are all out!

everyone that is coming is out we all look forward to seeing you guys so much" it turns out that there will be 6 people at the dinner all friends of ours from a congregation that we attended a few years back.. they have all left the organization recently.. pretty crazy experience..

GoUnion

That is great news!

may you enjoy delicious food and better company!

18

Is the number of JWs leaving increasing?

by dozy in

i don't mean jws getting stumbled or bored or getting dfd for immorality- there always have been a certain number of those all the time.. i've been out for a few years now but am curious to know from "still ins" if there is any evidence of increasing numbers of people leaving for classic "apostate" reasons - ie either fading or getting dfd because they have done research & realise that this isn't "the truth".. when i was a jw occasionally i would hear of someone suddenly stopping going to meetings & hearing through the grapevine & jw gossip mill that the person no longer believed it was the truth or had expressed doubts in the "slave" etc.

but it didn't happen very often ( though it was increasing somewhat in the years before i left).. one would imagine with the internet & increased information available to all that this would be happening more often.

any evidence of this , anecdotally?

GoUnion

I hav only been out around 7 months but among many of my active friends from the Midwest area, there have been many many divorces among mid to late twenties and a good number have stopped attending, singles as well.

i think the push for pioneering and the advice to do more is to keep a smaller number, but to keep them in a bubble and keep them zealous. its considered sifting and allows for more precise control.

25

Not looking for fame or followers or money...

by Londo111 in

https://www.youtube.com/channel/ucnxy0-n67n4a5a8ekbar-iw/playlists.

i hate self-promotion.

but every time i put something out there on the internet, and then promote it, some part of me feels ashamed for drawing attention to myself.

GoUnion

I had enjoyed many of your posts I wish you well in your endeavors.

30

When Was Ancient Jerusalem Destroyed references

by GoUnion in

this topic has been covered extensively but i just wanted relate what hapopenes with this subject and my elder father.

he called me up one day to check in on me he always asks if i'm going to msettings and i always tell him no im not.

well this time he wanted to know why i didn't trust the g.b.

GoUnion

Hi villagegirl. my initial enthusiasim for my fathers research has now been hindered by his belief to solely trust the society's "scholars". I can't be too mad at him I was the same way at one point in my life. He doesnt see anything wrong with the organization I hope his viewpoint will change at some point.

I own CoC it is a wonderful book written by someone who unfortuantly gave up so much for false ideas, I hope to never make that mistake again.

30

When Was Ancient Jerusalem Destroyed references

by GoUnion in

this topic has been covered extensively but i just wanted relate what hapopenes with this subject and my elder father.

he called me up one day to check in on me he always asks if i'm going to msettings and i always tell him no im not.

well this time he wanted to know why i didn't trust the g.b.

GoUnion

Not well londo... Not encouraging at all. I asked my father this week how his research has went and he said he was busy with the c.o. at his house(the c.o. is staying in my old bedroom lol) and has not done anything in depth. He said he and my mother have looked at the wt articles again and they are confident this is the truth.

it looks like I won't be making any headway soon. He has invested his whole life to this organization I think the idea of leaving or being cast out terrifies him.

im disappointed he won't look at the misquoted references but I think that is the cult mentality taking over. It's a damn shame though.