Posts by Willow76

64

First Post - Emotionally Torn

by scaredtospeak in

i haven't been on here long but i found this site a couple days ago and quickly realised it had a lot of posts by people going through similar experiences as me.

i read some of the answers and it helped relieve some inner anguish i've been carrying since everything i came clean to my parents about everything i've been reading about.. .

i just have been going through a rough patch right now; that might be an under or overstatement depending on your own personal experiences with this kind of stuff.

Dear scared, your situation sucks. But it's not unique and not unique to JWs. Its a child growing into her own identity and her parents wanting her to clone their identity. Happens all over the world in every culture and religion.

JWs do make it harder with their bizarre 'cut you off' cult rules. believe me, when my parents cut me off ( dif situation to yours, I was 29, married, in bethel bla bla bla) it def hurt them more than me.

Without crumbling to their emotional pressure always remember they truly believe satan is attacking their daughter, it's truly heartbreaking for them and out of JW engendered fear they are acting this way. Treat them with compassion and love. It's def worse for them than you, because deep down they know the disfellowshipping law is Anti love.

Be thankful for their love, for whatever the JWs gave you and tell them that... With maybe a back up in telling them what your learning. Remember everyone is entitled to their own reality no matter how different from yours.

Getting out From JW propaganda is only the first step in truth seeking. Wait till you discover 'the matrix' for real. That EVERYTHING you see on TV and in newspapers is a lie manufactured to control you, just on a grander scale than the little JWs.

Perhaps watch some David Icke, Gregg Braddon and Bruce Lipton on YouTube.

Look up crop circles, UFO citings, Illuminati, the truth about the ponzi banking system, 911 set up, FEMA camps, the fact the US has more inmates than ANY nation in history EVER!! princess Diana's death, US warmongering and cruel colonialisation of so many countries right now, (US has 40 military bases surrounding Iran, Iran has 0 outside it's own country), US spends more on military than every other country in the whole world put together!! The 6 million Jews death myth... Did you know Red Cross recorded a growth of jew population a few hundred thousand over the nazi war years!! Chem trails, Monsanto with its GMO poison, vaccinations that cause 1 in 50 children to become autistic, the big pharma conspiracy to keep us sick and paying for drugs. Watch 'forbidden cures' and know there are many cures for cancer, all outlawed. I live next to a successful cancer clinic in Peru. People come with only months left and leave in a few weeks with no sign of cancer, this is outlawed in western countries because cancer is a one trillion dollar business.

The list is endless. Don't feel bad that you were fed lies by the JWs, we've all been fed lies by authorities our whole lives. Follow your own path, find the truth that feels right to you and makes you happy. Control always comes from peers, that's how minor amounts of people keep authority over masses, through use of their peers and fear of disappointing them.

love your parents, love all the JWs and know that Jesus teachings of love even for your enemy... That's the only way our world is ever going to heal. Love and compassion... And fading out slowly will be less painful for everyone involved:)

blessings on your life's journey darling girl, it will be as beautiful and magical as you want it to be. Xxxxxxx

75

FORGIVENESS ... You owe it to your health

by ABibleStudent in

i'm cleaning up my home of unnecessary magazines/newsletters that i have accumulated over the years.

while i was working as an employee i did not feel like i had the time to read them.

now that i'm not working as an employee but work as a volunteer to network and maintain workplace skills, i seem to have more time to read.. after reading many threads by former jws, i thought that the following article might help some to heal.

Willow76

Outlaw I grew up a JW and I agree with Robert. i'll even go so far as to say there's nothing to forgive.

It's entirely my choice how I choose to feel, no actions of someone else or organisation can make me hate or be angry. Not that it didn't take years to finally come to this understanding... And with the understanding comes peace of mind, a spacious, loving heart and an ability to get on with and enjoy life.

I haven't looked at a JW forum for more than 5 years (been out for 7.5..... had to calculate that, I feel like I've been out for 20), I ended up on this forum on 'memorial night'. Which I think is an energetic thing.

Don't be mislead into thinking your dark emotions are someone/ something else's responsibility, they're entirely your choice. If every human held onto hate for perceived injustices like you are encouraging our world would not grow into a better place. Your hate will not change a single JW mind, rather it will recomfirm their beliefs. Where as a life of love, peace, happiness, fulfilment... confounds their beliefs. I know my mum is totally confused by at my 'successful' life and the unconditional love I show her regardless of her actions... I'm not behaving as she has been warned by them I will behave. She now knows (but won't consciously admit to) that the JWs are liars. I've proved it.

i wish you the best in your journey out of anger and hatred. It's not easy but is so worth it in the end:)

blessings

Willow

53

Ayahuasca / DMT.... anyone else curious?

by snare&racket in

jw
friends

ever since reading about dmt and hearing people discuss it, my new post-jw open mind wants to experience it.

anyone here tried it or feels the same?.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ciqzhzax4ro.

Willow76

Oh and in regards to health?...

my allergies have all disappeared, my lower back no longer hurts, my IBS has settled down about 90%, my candida completely gone, and I've gone from clinically depressed to a happy, loving, blissful state of mind. All a direct response to ayahuasca.

53

Ayahuasca / DMT.... anyone else curious?

by snare&racket in

jw
friends

ever since reading about dmt and hearing people discuss it, my new post-jw open mind wants to experience it.

anyone here tried it or feels the same?.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ciqzhzax4ro.

Willow76

The visions I have on ayahuasca (to answer Snare and rackets question) were entirely new to me. I've never had drugs before ayahuasca (unless you count a few puffs of someone's joint one time).

the journey on average lasts 5 hours, unless the facilitator puts extra dmt in, then I'm on a longer ride. When its at its strongest I sometimes lose awareness with the outside world. But not every time. Often I lose connection with my body, I cant work out where my hands are for example, if I move them getting a fright that they're still attached. I can feel like Im completely bodiless. Up seems Down, and down seems up. The worst thing you can do is lie down. if I sit up and concentrate on my breath then it's not so overwhelming. music really helps me to stay present. My visions are usually colourful bright fractals, like sacred geometry. I don't usually have distinct images, but others often do.

In one journey the plant spirit was teaching me not to put trust in my egoic mind, she did it this way... Every time I had a lucid thought I heard a huge clash of symbols beside my ears.... Like a 'wrong thing to do, try again' message. this has helped me hugely since to isolate the lies (unwanted beliefs handed down to me by parents, religion, society) my mind tells me and instead listen to the truth in my heart -which is 'all is love, there is nothing to fear'. My quality of inner life has increased exponentially since.

Another time my intention was to express unconditional love in every circumstance of my life. I remember sitting up with my arms raised and energy that I would describe as unconditional love pouring into my body, my body was shaking and my mouth gaping wide open in astonishment. The next day I sent an email to 2 people who had kicked me off my land, abused me, turned people against me, and vandalised my house. It had the song link to 'Im sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you'. My forgiveness was so complete I felt there was nothing to forgive and I thanked them. This produced such a feeling of lightness, like the weight of anger/hatred had been removed off my shoulders. (My first ever ayahuasca journey gave me the gift of complete forgiveness to the JW cult and a grateful attitude for my experiences within that cult). There is no one in the world I hold the slightest inkling of a grudge against... Thanks to ayahuasca.

another time when the 'I'm sorry' song was being played in ceremony and the shaman was calling out asking for forgiveness for any life where he did wrong to another person, I did a huge vomit and while vomiting had visions of myself raping, torturing, murdering people. this helped me understand even more how everyone of us is connected as a whole throughout history, and that I am just as responsible for the injustices being committed... So don't get self righteous just because in this lifetime I've been a kind person. And understand the ultimate innocence of the inner essence of each human, only fear can produce actions incongruent with the original innocence.

i've been reading Jung's autobiography, and the visions he had which he studiously documented over his lifetime he described as coming from a collective consciousness, and I concur with his findings. The visions on Ayahuasca are of a similar nature regardless of who takes it. Just google ayahuasca and look under images. once you've taken it these images are extremely familiar. Yet google alchemy images and there is a similarity, google Jung drawings (his mandalas to describe his central beingness for each day) and again a similarity. How can these be similar, yet not part of mainstream art?

i cannot believe humans are simply a concoction of biology and chemistry. Qantam Physics is the new science. Newtons laws and the like are old fashioned. Even the new studies showing that our DNA changes as we change our actions and beliefs, this is fast obsoleting beliefs that DNA is fixed. Try reading Gregg Braddon and Bruce Lipton.

And listen to Terrence McKenna on YouTube, he describes tripping very well, and studied physcadelics scientifically and experentially. His son Dennis McKenna also studies the same.

75

FORGIVENESS ... You owe it to your health

by ABibleStudent in

i'm cleaning up my home of unnecessary magazines/newsletters that i have accumulated over the years.

while i was working as an employee i did not feel like i had the time to read them.

now that i'm not working as an employee but work as a volunteer to network and maintain workplace skills, i seem to have more time to read.. after reading many threads by former jws, i thought that the following article might help some to heal.

Willow76

I feel very deeply about this subject as we all do, for the reason that what the JWs did has been the best lesson I could possibly imagine in forgiveness and personal spiritual growth.

I don't think I'm a 'goody goody' ... It took me 6 years and thousands of dollars of therapy to get to this stage. I used to rage in hatred at them and what I felt were direct consequences ... Ie dropping out of school to pioneer, marrying at 19 and staying with a man I disliked for 10 years, missing out on uni, travel, dating... So called Normal things.

Yet now I feel that they gave me a gift. And I thank them for my formative years. It shaped me into who I am. I would not be this person without those experiences, I feel I have a depth that I might not have achieved living the normal shallow life.

The strength needed to leave that cult showed me that I had enormous unknown inner strength. Thank you cult for allowing me to discover that strength for when i next need it i need not be so terrified.

It taught me that I don't need a fancy education and hard work for money to come to me... Another false belief by another false system to keep you enslaved. (I am 37 and just retired living on a small rental income in the Sacred Valley in Peru, I need not work again but am considering helping out a successful cancer clinic nearby)

It taught me to question EVERYTHING From every 'authority'. To use my reasoning mind instead of just gobbling up as truth what different institutions dish out as 'fact' that lands on tv, in the paper or on the radio. Thank you cult for showing me the importance of questioning every authority.

there is duality in every situation, if you can look outside the box at the gifts you now have as a result of JWs being part of your experience it will help you heal.

you cannot change your past, or the people still trapped in that institution. You can only work on yourself in the present. Anger is a natural human expression at perceived injustices, it is not wrong and shouldn't be judged. But forgiveness is divine, it creates space and peace in your heart and head... It leads to lightness, happiness, even bliss. Don't underestimate how incredible you'll feel when you eventually not only forgive, but realise there was nothing TO forgive. It was perfect as it was.

53

Ayahuasca / DMT.... anyone else curious?

by snare&racket in

jw
friends

ever since reading about dmt and hearing people discuss it, my new post-jw open mind wants to experience it.

anyone here tried it or feels the same?.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ciqzhzax4ro.

Willow76

Hi snare and racket, I've done about 10 Ayahuasca journeys in the last 6 months and I can tell you why it's illegal, and why there is such strong propaganda/fear mongering about plant medicines being 'dangerous' drugs. Its the govt, big pharmas equivalent to a Jw reading 'apostate' material on the web. If you do it you step out of their carefully constructed matrix.

So anyone commenting on a plant medicine they have not personally experienced, ask yourself where you got you belief from because it wasn't from personal experience. Think how you used to think it was 'kind' to ignore your friend because they were disfellowshipped, because that is what God wanted. You really believed that at one time even though it was complete lunacy.

Stepping out of the JW faith into the world is like getting out of solitary confinement into the prison yard. Your still eating a bullshit diet of lies, you just Have a little more room to explore.

Ayahuasca is a teacher plant, she shows you yourself, all the good and the 'bad' and she often gives you a healthy dose of reality. There are hundreds of thousands of people taking ayahuasca, drachuma, wachuma ALL the time... a properly prescribed drug is more likely to harm you than these plants. However note how many ads on TV are from big pharma and you start to get an idea who owns mainstream media and possibly where your beliefs may have originated.

Ayahuasca cured my 18 months of depression in one night. I went from a very dark space to a place of recurring waves of bliss, this has lasted 6 months.

In regards to the experience, the ayahuasca vine is a purgative. It clears physical, emotional and psychic blocks. The dmt part provides the 'storey'. i usually feel pretty sick in the stomach until I vomit. it takes about 30-45 minutes to kick in. Then im slammed back and the visions take over. I've only just learned to surrender to it which has made it a lot easier. Mostly to start with you fight it which prolongs the struggle. When it gets overwhelming its best to sit up and concentrate on your breath As that can be your only reality as your body seems to fall apart. The medicine moves through you like a snake re calibrating your DNA (if your ready). You can feel it like tiny pinpricks or vibrations, nothing hurts but your mind may tell you it hurts because your mind is terrified of it. When you learn to shut your mind off then the fear goes and you enjoy.

This is the part that is the hardest as we've all been brainwashed into thinking we are our mind and to let go of control of the mind would be death, so you think you are dying. You are not. Ayahuasca has never killed anyone. It's the ego that is being killed off And this is beautiful and healing. The time it takes is different every journey, and everyone has entirely different journeys and no two journeys are alike. You NEVER know what to expect. A ceremony usually lasts 5 or more hours. afterward when you share with the others you cannot believe the love and gratitude of everyone. Ayahuasca mainly focuses on bringing out the love inside us, and fronting our shadows and fears so we realise they're not real, just beliefs handed to us by someone else. So one of the biggest benefits of ayahuasca is the lose of fear which strangles your capabilities with self doubt etc.

after 6 months of taking ayahuasca once a month my husband and I shut up shop in Australia and moved to Peru. We are in Pisac in the sacred valley and there are at least 200-300 people from all over the world taking ayahuasca regularly here and they are the most warm, friendly, loving, generous people I have ever met... And I'm from Byron bay which has an excellent reputation for friendly people.

Ayahuasca raises consciousness which is love knowing we're all one, it removes fear, it opens your mind to great possibilities, it usually moves you to learn to sing or play an instrument and to start some form of art. It makes you generous because you now understand that the universe is abundant and what you give always comes back. It's teachings perfectly align with the great master Jesus Christ.

blessings in your research beautiful one, but go with a facilitator who has an excellent reputation, and don't do on your own. It's a spiritual experience and needs a sacred pure heart to hold the space for you as you are inexperienced. Come to Pisac and sit with Diego Palmer. We have a spare room. xxxxxx