FORGIVENESS ... You owe it to your health

by ABibleStudent 75 Replies latest social physical

• 

  ABibleStudent

  I'm cleaning up my home of unnecessary magazines/newsletters that I have accumulated over the years. While I was working as an employee I did not feel like I had the time to read them. Now that I'm not working as an employee but work as a volunteer to network and maintain workplace skills, I seem to have more time to read.

  After reading many threads by former JWs, I thought that the following article might help some to heal. The point of the article is simple. Let go of your anger: it is only hurting you and you can only control your behavior.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert

  FORGIVENESS ... You owe it to your health

  Hanging on to anger and resentment because you feel someone has wronged you can do more than make your emotional life miserable.

  It could make you sick.

  In a recent study, those who learned to forgive saw not only stress and anger subside, but also psychosomatic symptoms like headaches and stomach upsets go way down.

  HOW TO FORGIVE:

  • First, realize that forgiving does not mean that you condone or forget offenses. And it doesn't necessarily mean you need to reconcile with the offender. The act of forgiveness simply means moving beyond feeling aggravated and angry. It means giving up the desire for revenge.

  • Accept that you cannot control other people's behavior.

  • Look at the hurtful incident in perspective. It isn't always possible, but if you can, try to see what happened from the other person's point of view - or at least from a neutral viewpoint.

  • Gradually move away from blame to accepting that what happened, happened, and that it is in the past. You can't do anything about the past.

  • Try writing your thoughts down in a letter (that you don't intend to send). It's a non-hurtful way to vent your feelings.

  Source of Study: Stanford University research presented at the American Psychological Association meeting, August 2001
• 

  Band on the Run

  I happen to feel that rage can serve good purposes. We can forgive too much. I always Jesus forgives. It is his nature.
• 

  Xanthippe

  Interesting that psychologists think it doesn't necessarily mean reconciling with the person, forgetting what they did or condoning it. Just moving on from the anger and the desire for revenge. Yes that's good, I don't think staying angry is good for you. Personally I had to let go of my anger about the cult because it just caused me to have a permanent short fuse and keep losing it with people at inappropriate times like at work. Anger inside of you just seems to keep spilling over when you don't want it to.

  I do still have a problem with the word forgiveness. It feels religious to me. I prefer the idea of moving on, getting past the anger, getting on with my life. Good thoughts Robert. We don't want to live in the past, there's too much pleasure and fun to have in the present.
• 

  ammo

  Yes agree Robert and thanks.....

  Anger sux and my body and mind were so tired of it.

  It can take time and if you are able to distance. Long term anger never did anyone anygood, I've realised since leaving that my anger and frustration and even expectations of myself are a lot less, yet surprisingly I am actually doing and COMPLETING alot more in life.

  Hmmm.... Who'd of thought that while in eh!
• 

  Laika

  The hard part I find with this is forgiving the disdain some of the JWs in my life still seem to treat me with. I feel I can forgive events in the past that no longer effect me, but I honestly don't know what it means to forgive someone in the midst of injustice.
• 

  twice shy

  Forgiveness can be very healthy and helpful. It will cleanse the mind, body, and soul if it's allowed to.
• 

  millie210

  Im with Laika. What and how does one forgive in the midst of injustice?
• 

  Magnum

  According to the Bible, Jah only forgives the repentant. According to JWs I should be like Jah. So I don't forgive them. Of what have they repented? They are still smug, self-righteous, and judgemental. The org took the prime of my life. If one had been defrauded of a million dollars, would he be ready to forgive? Maybe so, but not I. I can easily show that I lost a million just considering the time I spent as a reg pio and how much I would have made if I had worked and been paid all those hours. And that doesn't take into consideration any of the other stuff like serving the congregation, donations, and lost opportunities.

  I'm still being stung by JWs. Ain't no forgiveness in the near future from me. I simply want justice.

  I am a very forgiving person. If JWs would show some sign of repentance, I could forgive, but they get worse as time goes on. If they could just admit some wrong - some of the bad stuff in JW history, that some of the doctrines (blood, generation, all animals vegetarian before rebellion in eden, etc.) don't make sense, I'd be more ready to forgive. But no, they in their ignorance and cluelessness, have divine truth and everybody else is wrong.

  Gradually move away from blame to accepting that what happened, happened, and that it is in the past. You can't do anything about the past.

  But it's not in the past to me. It will affect me every day until I drop dead. It's not in the past in that JWs still want me to answer to them and they question me and I feel like I have to hide from them. Damn them. I think it can be detrimental to be too passive and forgiving.
• 

  millie210

  Maybe its a process and Im just not "there" yet but I agree with you said Magnum.
• 

  millie210

  Well I have no idea how to edit a post but I meant to say I agree with WHAT YOU said Magnum.