At the peak of my JW "career", I was a well respected MS + pioneer. My years of pioneering total around 15+, and I was an MS for roughly the same. I was giving public talks and whatever else was requested.
I was also seeing escorts (sometimes on the same day as my public talk) 2-3 times a month, watching extremely sadistic movies (well beyond horror - more masochistic + torture + depicted life-like mass murders + cannibals + ect ...messed up stuff) daily, extreme porn, soft porn, LBGT porn, sadistic porn, violent porn, filthy emails to girls/guys, sexting, extreme sex acts (aka anal sex, TS sex, bondage, many fetishes, ect), whatever the hell I felt like doing really. And I was/am good at hiding it.
Sometimes, before giving talks, I had to see a escort just to clear my mind. At 6PM night of. wore my suit and everything.....I did shower afterwards though...
I have, of course, faded. And I still do the above. But if you saw me on the street you'd think I'm the nicest person and just a regular guy. Clean cut, in good shape, healthy. I actually still look the same...just sometimes grow a beard.
But in truth I'm complete sick f***. And I have accepted it.