After 68 years of life, and being a JW for over 50 years, I have had to accept that I do not have to know everything.
I believe "god" has bigger things on his mind than me. Most modern religions are based on Abraham, a bronze-age goat herder. A guy who claimed a lot of things "god" told him secretly without any 3rd party verification, like he had to sacrifice his son for starters. Anyone doing that now would/should be hospitalized for mental illness.
Being a parent, and grandparent, and then seeing the first Hubble deep field photos (countless galaxies and solar systems), had a deep impact on my beliefs. I wish only good things for my family, I have never knowingly allowed them to be harmed, however, I do not/can not protect them from every bad experience.
Watchtower and most Bronze Age religions painted "God" as a petty mean mean-spirited entity... the same one ISIS radicals worship. Acceptance of these things has been freeing. My 2 cents.
https://science.nasa.gov/mission/hubble/science/universe-uncovered/hubble-deep-fields/