Posts by sidney

39

does anyone remember being a child as a JW and not having holiday?

by franklin J in

jw
friends

i am curious to know how many others shared the same experiences as me as a child, growing up as a jw.. surfing this board has brought back a flood of memories ( i am secure enough to deal with them) not all good.

i have been away from jws for sometime, and remember being a child in school and having to explain why i do not salute the flag, why i have to leave the room when there is a birthday or christmas party, why i had to explain when i was seen going door to door ( i grew up to be a pioneer).

being "different" is hard for a child.. now that i have 3 children of my own, who are fortunatelly not growing up as jw, to see how secure and well adjusted they are in school is comforting.

sidney

I hated going into the school library when assembly was on as I could hear what was going on and it sounded good fun. So when I was nine I told my teacher that I could go in to assembly, which he seemed shocked at, so I told him I wasn't a witness anymore! Nearly a whole year past, I really enjoyed assembly, learnt some hymms! Parents evening arrived and my parents came home very cross, when my teacher said " how are you finding life now that you are no longer Jehovahs witnesses!!!" Needless to say I was back in the School Library again and had to pray to Jehovah for forgiveness for being a bad witness!

Now I have my daughter at school, and she is no different than any of the other children, I would hate for her to go through school as I did, being teased and bullied. She is a happy well adjusted child, what I should have been. Sidney

62

in dire need of love and attention....

by tinkerbell82 in

well, i am.

:( today just sucks.

sidney

Cheer up Tinkerbell! You have been a great support to me when we have chatted in the chat room, if I can return the favour anytime I will be there for you! love from Sidney xx

19

Have you tried to explain?

by anglise in

have you ever tried to explain to someone who has no religious leaning how you once truly believed that you could live forever and that now you are no longer a jw that certainty is gone, and how hard that is to deal with at times?.

the look of disbelief and pity that you get in return.. maybe thats partly why we need to talk so often to other xjw's.

whats been your experiences.. anglise

sidney

Alot of my new frends think it is really funny that I was a witness and say things like "but you are so normal!" It is difficult for them to understand what I have been through but they have been very simpathtic and supportive. But as someone else has just said, the only people who understand is ex witnesses and it is so nice to talk to these ones as they know and understand what you have been through. Sidney

14

I don't feel good either

by jwbot in

jw
friends

the flu is going around.. i missed a couple classes last week.

and right now, i am just in bed with the laptop enjoying your company.

i can't breath and i get hot flashes...wtf?.

sidney

GET WELL SOON

FLOWERPETAL!

I know how you are feeling, I am poorley with the same thing too, it is awful not too be able to breath properly at night! Hope you'll be back to yourself very soon!

Love Sidney xxx

41

"We Miss You! (but only at the meetings)"

by Funchback in

it has been a good (7) weeks since i've last attended a kh meeting.

this weekend, however, the calls of "encouragement" came rolling in.

on saturday, a brother (actually a very decent, likable, and genuine man) left me a message and said that he misses me at the meetings.

sidney

I completely know what you are going through as I went through it myself. Friends that I thought were friends suddenly would only talk about the meetings and spiritual stuff, where as before we talked about other stuff. They practically ignored my husbands existance ( he had drifted out before me) almost blaming him on me drifting out. The phone calls and visits didn't last long and they soon treated me like a stranger - so much for unconditional love!! and now my oldest friends say they can't see me as often as it might weaken their faith! It does get easier, but I still nearly four years on find it hard and have guilty feelings but I am happy now, which I wasn't when I was in the borg. I am thinking of you as are everyone else. Sidney

21

JW marriages: happy/unhappy

by starfish422 in

i've been wondering how many jws have gotten married too quickly, without knowing their prospective "mate" well enough, and have ended up really unhappy.

it always seemed to me that a couple would be dating for, like, 6 or 9 months and get engaged, have a 9 month engagement and be married; often because they bought the "no sex before marriage" garbage.

i'm sure that there *are* happy jw marriages out there; and certainly being unhappily married isn't the sole property of jws.

sidney

My husband and I got married 11 1/2 years ago when we were witnesses. I feel what we have is special and am glad I haven't slept with any one else. We have grown up together ( we got married when we were just 22) . Although I do know many who haven't been as lucky. I do feel that we weren't given enough trust and freedom and maybe we should have seen a bit of the world before settling down but having said that we are extremely happy but both feel we should have enjoyed our twenties alot more by going out and having fun instead of going out on the service and attending meetings!!We are now doing that with our daughter and are really happy together. Sidney

33

First Christmas

by yxl1 in

when we first left the dubs, we celebrated x-mas pretty much straight away, but had no decorations or tree, and only gave gifts to each other.

for some reason it just seemed wrong to put up decorations and we continued to celebrate this way for about 5 years.

we decided to put up decorations when it was my daughters 1st x-mas, and have never looked back.

sidney

Hi, my first christmas was in 1999 we had only been out for a couple of months, we didn't have a tree, just some twigs with lights on, then the following year we went to my husbands parents who did EVERYTHING I was frightened to enjoy it. We now get a real tree which is so pretty and get pressents. But to be honest all I enjoy about it is the pretty lights, I don't enjoy the traditions eg Christmas Dinner I just enjoy a quiet time with my family. Sidney

14

Sometimes they do something caring...

by jws in

jw
friends

i was talking to my dad this weekend and he mentioned that the jws in his congregation and others were planning to rent out a park pavilion and throw a party for a guy to cheer him up because he's been pretty sad after his wife died a few months ago.. first thought was, after hearing all the stories about how cold and heartless the jws can be, here was one example of them seeming to show some genuine concern.. of course, not to let them off the hook entirely, this guy was pretty well known.

i've been away from it for a while and he wasn't part of our hall so i don't remember his resume all that well, but i'm certain he was an elder and i think has at least a couple of sons who are elders and i think he played a big role in helping run conventions.

your average non-ms, non-elder, isn't very likely to get a pavilion full of friends.. i give them credit for showing concern, but there are a lot of people who also need help and fall through the cracks.

sidney

In my experience they seem very kind and caring to those who are studying, and those in good standing in the congregation, but the minute someone is drifting they distance themselves only encouraging those ones if they attend the meetings. That is what I experienced. Sidney

15

I did not go to the one day Assembley!!!

by Singing Man in

yes verginia, i did not go to the one day assembly today because of these reasons:

i sang with my friends at a night club till 1:am, and i slept till noon, and just had to set in my sweats and eat hot cakes with sausage gravy along with a cup of coffee.

and because i find surfing the web much more educational and entertaining than setting on hard seats hearing some cone head asking me "what sort of persons ought you to be blah blah" and waiting in lines to go pee and do #2, and i find it much more fun to plop down in front of my tv and watch cable springer eating potato chips and dip.

sidney

I hated assemblys everyone all being thrown together. I remember a sister asking me if i enjoy assemblys, to which i replied no....... she gasped in horror and said.. but you are with all your brothers and sisters! SO!! I still hated them. Who can listen to the same old thing all day long? Sidney

16

Social anxiety VS. Jw influence

by NEWWORLDSLACKER in

jw
friends

my question for tonight is this : after leaving the witnesses do you still feel disjointed from society in general ( and i mean the human race not the wt) ?

im realizing that i still have quite a hard time in social situations where there are more than say 4-5 people .....i tend to get into a dreamy feeling state , and just basically out of it feeling .

i tend to blame it on being raised a dub .

sidney

I do understand what you are feeling. I feel like I can't talk about stuff before I was out of the "truth" as my new friends would not understand. I feel like I have had two lives one in the "truth" one out. I still don't vote as it feels wrong so I don't talk about politics etc. It is getting easier but still hard to shake off these feelings. Sidney