People leave for more than one reason, usually there's several. I wrote my life story on another site. This extract oulines the background and reasons why I went:
>>The downside of our JW marriage was that we had absolutely nothing in common whatsoever. Cindy was volatile and unpredictable. She had no boundaries at all and would even row in the street. Once, at a dinner party, she struck another JW lady around the face.
Added to which, she’d taken to hitting me around the face too. She was always pathetically sorry after each incident but I was later to earn how she had been on the receiving of violence herself as a child. It seemed to me that just about everyone I knew who’d had a JW upbringing was a totally emotional wreck, me included.
The violence had become known to the local elders, so they called around to see me. I was sporting a big black eye when they came in, so I lied as to how it had occurred. No good. They pounced on it and reprimanded me for not keeping my wife "in subjection". Thanks, fellas, that really helped.
It just got worse and worse. She scratched my car, scratched me, threatened me with a knife, hit me with a broken glass so that I had to have stitches, it just went on and on. I remember once sitting down in a transport cafe for hours and letting a feeling of total despair wash over me. I knew that I could be an irritating bugger at times but surely I didn’t deserve all this crap?
So we both started to play the field a bit. Just parties, a smoochy dance with someone else or a quick kiss in the kitchen with another lady or fella. Nothing more though, nothing for which one could be disfellowshipped. Not yet anyway..We’re now getting into 1972. At this point, my meeting attendance is down to zero and my PO contacts my dad expressing his concern that I’m falling away from the JW’s. Most JW's are anticipating armageddon's arrival in 1975, but I'm not remotely convinced. Added to which, I’m occasionally sneaking off to a remote pub out in the countryside to enjoy a quiet pint and a cigar.
I’m also having real issues with JW beliefs centering around a loving god killing off millions of people and the injustice of disfellowshipping (excommunication). I imagine myself trying to explain both of these witness tenets to someone who is rational and all I can see is incredulity that anyone could accept such cruelty. My dad offers to give me a private Bible study to address these issues. I don’t take up the offer.
Witnesses are now contacting me to urge me to hang in there, only 3 years to 1975. He that endures to the end..etc etc.
I’m working in a sales environment now and have had some degree of success. I’ve kept quiet about the JW connection and am thoroughly enjoying the experience of being accepted as a normal person by my workmates. It’s at this point that I begin to realise that these “old world” associations are a damned sight more pleasant and straightforward than any JW folk with whom I’ve been associating. Plus, there’s no judgementalism! <<