Posts by FeelingFree

22

Since The Bible Sponsors Disciplining Your Children Do JWs Say It Is OK Spank A Child?

by minimus in

jw
friends

is it ok to spank your kids?

is it ok to discipline them using any force?.

.

FeelingFree

These days I'm pretty sure it's up to the individual. There were a few people in our hall who became parents around about the same time as us and I remember having a discussion with one of the grandparents (who was an elder) a few months ago on this subject. I was saying I didn't feel that there was ever a need to use smacking when disciplining. I said I felt that it was wrong and there were plenty of other things you can do to correct your child. If you don't want your child to hit then you wouldn't tell them off by smacking them as it's a total contradicition and would be confusing to the child. He responded by saying all children need a good smack or they will turn out spoilt, it never does them any harm! This elder's son (who has just been made up as an elder himself) used to take his baby daughter out of the hall when she was crying but would put his hand over her mouth so she couldn't scream! I also saw him cuff his young son around the head a number of times :/

Another time I was talking to my friend who has a little one a couple weeks younger than mine about the fact that I had smacked my child whilst angry and felt really bad about it. She said her little one was always naughty and she was sure she didn't smack him often enough! True story.

Using the rod was sadly very much in evidence at our hall!

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

Magwitch - Urgh that story turns my stomach, what a horrible man! That mother totally did the right thing. Yep if only more were like her.

Eyeuse - Screw the org!

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

Exactly their stupid policies have actually made them look so, so bad. There must be thousands of other victims all over the world who have held their tounge until now and having seen all these other abuse cases coming out feel its time for the WBTS to get their justice.

I agree all these cases need national attention. JW's need to see the facts and where their hard earned cash is being spent. Not on counstruction and maintenance of KH's or furthering the preaching work nope... it's going on child sexual abuse court case settlements.

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

Sir82 - "Evidently you were never a JW" Hah! I have come to the same conclusion myself quite recently, I think I knew for a long time but it distresses me to think too much about it and why I never did anything about it until now!

Legacy- I wasn't really sure whether to put this post up as I too didn't want to offend but thought it was a necessary thing to address. I really feel for any parent in that situation and I'm sure they all thought what they were doing was for the best. I expect many wish they acted differently now.

However you would think protection of your children would be paramount to any parent, even if it means going against all you have been taught or even believe. I would risk anything, turn my life upside down to make sure my child was safe.

The way the Borg threaten, control and prevent independant thought and action is disgusting.

47

Why don't parents of an abused child go straight to police, why go to an elder first??

by FeelingFree in

i hope i don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, i am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?.

as a parent myself i know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when i was still an active jw as well as now) i would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as i found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder.

maybe after we had reported it but definitely never as the first port of call.

FeelingFree

I hope I don't come across as judgemental but having read a lot on the current child abuse cases and the different threads on here, I am left wondering why on earth a parent of an abuse victim would go to an elder with the problem first and not straight to police?

As a parent myself I know that if anything like that happend to my child (this applies to when I was still an active JW as well as now) I would not hesitate in going to the authorities as soon as I found out, it wouldn't of crossed mine or my husbands mind to go to an elder. Maybe after we had reported it but definitely NEVER as the first port of call. My thoughts would be that I would need to keep my child protected and safe no matter what the consequence and they would not be safe in that environment any longer as the trust had already been breeched. I would do everything in my power to keep my child away from that disgusting individual and never allow a meeting between the two.

I just don't understand what is going through the minds of the parents who do this and surely they need to bear some responsibility when a matter like that doesn't get reported to the police? I don't know maybe I'm missing something? Maybe I was always too independent in my thinking? In any case just don't get it.

37

$13.5 million to a San Diego man

by truthseekeriam in

jw
friends

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/135m-awarded-to-bible-teacher-gonzalo-campos-alleged-abuse-victim-jose-lopez-281031832.html#.

the national organization for jehovah's witnesses was ordered to pay $13.5 million to a san diego man who says he was abused as a child by his bible teacher.

nbc 7's rory devine reports on oct. 30, 2014.

FeelingFree

Hah its all coming out now isn't it? The more people who claim their rightful compensation the more victims will all come out of the woodwork. This could get VERY messy for those evil men at the WBTS.

I just hope JW's everywhere get to hear of all these horrific cases and that it might make them think something is seriously wrong in their brainwash world.

51

New ExJW here for the first time.

by WideAwake7 in

i am here for the first time ...but have enjoyed reading others experiences that i feel i can relate too.

i used to be an elder for more than 20 years .

i have successfully faded with my wife and children.

FeelingFree

Hey welcome WideAwake7. We had a sort of similar situation this year, its was just before me and my husband finally left the org. We were invited to a wedding of one of my childhood friends who my family had known for years, my brother who left in his late teens was also invited as he and the groom had been extremely good friends when they were growing up.

My brother wasn't sure whether to go as the last time he had been in a KH was my own wedding 8 years ago, in the end he decided he should as they had obviously made the effort to include him when most witnesses wouldn't bother. Basically we went and everyone was lovely to him, nobody ignored him and he said he felt very comfortable. The worrying thing though he said was that when he was in the KH he said it felt like the most natural thing in the world for him to be and that it seemed "normal" to be there! This coming for an atheist!

I think people were genuinly pleased to see him as it was our group of old friends but I also think that they were hopeful that this wedding might bring him back. I had made quite clear beforehand to some who mentioned it that it would def not do that, and it didn't! But in general he had a really good time and wasn't made to feel awkward with pressure to return etc. None of them know yet that we have stopped going too now :/ not sure how to deal with that one........

I think as these people are your genuine friends and obviously really want you be at their wedding, I wouldn't worry about what other people think or say, as it's a wedding im sure they will just want things to go smoothly for the bride and groom. I expect you will get "lovebombed" quite heavily but would imagine conversation wont get much deeper than "oh its so lovely to see you, how have you been?" etc. At wedding's even witnesess are more relaxed, especially if alcohol is involved! I find hanging out with any non-JW family that may attend is a good way to ensure you have a good time! We had some on our table who were a real laugh.

Anyway i hope you have a good time and look forward to hearing your story.

FF x

58

new assembly experience... what do you reckon to this one?

by purrpurr in

ok so aparently there was this young girl who wanted to study with the jw's because she loved the bible so much.

she asked her fathers permission but he refused, after much nagging though he said she could have a study if she was prepared to have one of her fingers chopped off.

he thought the is would stop her but she was willing so he got a knife and cut off one of her fingers... a little while later she wanted to attend the meetings and he said no and again when nagged said she could attend meetings if she had another finger chopped off so she agreed and he chopped off a second finger.

FeelingFree

Hahahahaha what a load of s*@*! That has to be the most horrific and sick "experiance" I have ever heard.

5

Why did Jehovah Forbid Using the Kingdom Hall as A Social Community Center?

by scotoma in

jw
friends

obviously he didn't.. so now they can because the dictators say it's ok.. and jw's think their religion isn't a high control group?.

.

FeelingFree

You know I have always wondered why they have no congragation planned social activities or groups etc. It always has to come down to indivuals within the congregation to organise anything social. I came to the conclusion it was that they as an organisation didn't want to be in anyway responsible if something went wrong. They are happy to leave it up to the individuals to sort out social events etc and let them take the flack if something were to happen.

I look at the church over the road from us and think how nice it is that they have so many social things going on in their community hall. Coffee mornings, play group for toddlers, family fun days etc. as well as all the useual churchy stuff. Not that I want to join that church or anyother just to me it makes sense to have church based social events and include everyone instead of just all the silly, stuck up, little clicks that form within the kingdom hall or to be fair any large group really, meaning people are getting left out because they don't fit in.

This topic was one of the things that got me thinking, especially when I saw the video's online of people having a flipping hoedown on the platform for the delegates at the recent international convention in the USA. It really threw me and I thought well why is this acceptable now when I know for a fact it was extremely frowned open to even let your child climb up on the platform after the meeting (well it is here in the UK anyway, people were always getting told off for not controlling their kids better lol.) Talk about a complete Uturn!

I really detest this religion sorry I mean cult! The more I find out the more I can't believe I was part of it for so long.

26

How to make the most of wife not going to service meeting?

by FadeToBlack in

jw
friends

out of the blue, my wife told me that after this week's service meeting on friday (co visit) she is not going to anymore meetings during the week at night.

only sunday (am) meetings.

she explained that it is difficult and not safe for her to drive after dark (vision issues: i have the same problem so i couldn't help her if i wanted to).

FeelingFree

Yes def do something and spend some really nice, quality time together. Spoil her - I know that always works with me :) (sorry no good at suggesting things!)

Also do you have a telephone link or Skype link up to the meeting? Our local hall does so you want to make sure she is otherwise occupied so it wont even cross her mind to listen in to the meeting that way.

Hope all goes well for and this is just the start of something....