I think it's lovely that you're even considering it for your wife minimus but...
when I was at meetings they'd use people who came back for the memorial as an opportunity to 'prove ' (to others-eg bible studies like me and' weak' ones) that when you leave you know it's still 'the truth'..and attending the memorial is that proof-showing that you're too weak or selfish to live the life full-time.and I could'nt go, even for someone else as they might 'use' my attendance to encourage someone else...
I was blasted the first year I did'nt go...and the second-by phone-I was asked incredulously, how could I miss it? and told I'd now crossed the line...I told her if my concience would'nt let me attend meetings because of the behaviour of some elders and the UN involvement , how could I be a hypocrite and go to the memorial? I still get the memorial week mags pushed through with th invitation inside....but no calls.
Why not open a bottle of wine and hold your own memorial for your wife, jus the two of you?