Voluntarily stepping down as a Pioneer, MS, or Elder = Everyone will judge you badly and gossip about you behind your back.
Going to Bethel = I am the most spiritual person in this congregation and God loves me more than you.
Actually arriving at Bethel = Financially destitute slave.
Governing Body = We are God; worship us now and GIVE US MONEY!
Jesus = Not as important as the Governing Body.
Watchtower = God is physically writing all this in the magazine, believe it and obey or he will KILL YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!
Field Service = Find us more slaves so we can milk all their money too!
Regional (District) Convention = Biggest guilt trip and fear mongering of the year. Oh, and GIVE US MONEY!
JW.ORG = OMG give people the direct web address so they won't Google "Jehovah's Witnesses" and learn the actual truth about our doomsday death cult.
Should I go on? I can do this all day...