Posts by Alana

13

Wow. You all were spot on. Lurkers need to read.

by Oxnard Hamster in

quite some time ago, i made a topic asking for advice concerning a friend i had that is still a jw.

he's the guy who initially recruited me.

after i left, he still contacted me occassionally, sometimes offering to help me find a job and whatnot.

Alana

I know what you mean about conditional love. I had a friend in one congregation I attended that I would do things with, email, go out to eat or the movies or just hang out and help her with yard work. As I started to fade she got more distant. When I stopped attending altogether, the social activity naturally ended, but I would still email and then her responses stopped. I point blank asked her about it once and her excuse was that friends are people with things in common and that since I no longer attended the meetings that she didn't feel we had anything in common anymore.

The ironic thing is that when we did do things together, we did not endlessly gush things about the Bible or the Society or "the Truth". We DID have things in common outside of religion, but to a JW, that is the only thing in common that is needed in order to have a friendship. That is so sad. Looking at it now, they cut themselves out from some meaningful relationships. I have some childhood friends that still will talk with me when they see me, ask my mom about me and my family, email periodically, and one even sent me a card when I was in the hospital a few months ago. But, gone are the invites to cookouts, movies, or whatever, because I don't have that one thing in common anymore. The thing is, I respect others' believes and I would not try to influence them (unless they wanted it) in any way, shape or form. But, in their eyes, I am evil and that evil would corrupt them. It is so, so sad.

I had a long talk with one old friend about unconditional love vs. the JW conditional love (because he wanted to talk about things, as he has been out and in the Borg....currently in) and he said he wouldn't cut me off, blah blah blah, as he was like my brother. But, we don't have the Borg in common anymore, so it's only a rare email or contact at funerals.

Sorry for babbling on and on, but this is a topic that really gets me going......the conditional love and friendship.

"Alana"

5

Anyone from Melbourne Australia?

by Alana in

jw
friends

my husband's cousin just emailed us that her husband has been accepted to the university of melbourne's business school.

the mba program begins in august and they will be moving then and they will be relocating either this coming august (or january if he opts to bebin the program later).

they will be there about 20 months.

Alana

My husband's cousin just emailed us that her husband has been accepted to the University of Melbourne's business school. The MBA program begins in August and they will be moving then and they will be relocating either this coming August (or January if he opts to bebin the program later). They will be there about 20 months. They have a toddler and a dog.

I just wondered if there are any members here from Melbourne who may have suggestions as to things to see and do, recommendations regarding areas to live, or just about anything that might help them in their move down under.

(I've always wanted to visit Australia, so I'm thinking that they need an extra bedroom wherever they go, for visiting relatives! ha ha ha)

"Alana"

45

MY DAD HAD A STROKE

by Mary in

jw
friends

i just got a call from my mom.

my father's had a massive stroke and is in the hospital.

i'm leaving now to go to the hospital and i probably won't have time to post here for a while until we know what's happening........

Alana

((((((((((Mary))))))))))

Sorry to hear about your dad. I hope it all works out alright for you all.

54

I feel bad :(

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

i've been feeling bad the last few days... like a bad cold.

*** cough - cough - sniff *** .

on thursday i went to my doctor and she ordered a ct scan of my sinuses.

Alana

I wish you the best. I just had sinus surgery last November. I've had chronic sinusitis for years and when I had an MRI (for something unrelated) they noted that I had a deviated septum and enlarged turbinates, which essentially had closed off my nasal passages....thus the continual infections, pain, snoring, poor sleep, headaches, etc. So, I decided to have the surgery.

They didn't pack my nose so much with the gauze, but used a nasal splint to keep the septum straight and the nose 'open'. I won't lie....when they removed the splints, I felt pain like I'd never felt before.....I cried in the office as they removed them. Thank God for pain pills. Afterwards, I developed another infection because he couldn't clear everything out when he removed the splints because of my pain. So, I have to say that it was one of the worst experiences of my life.

BUT........I'd do it all over again, because the results have been great! I can breath through my nose, no longer snore, sleep better, have next to no sinus headaches, etc. I didn't want to scare you, but since your mom told you your dad's story, it's not like you don't know that it can hurt. I just wanted to let you know that even if it is painful, that you will most likely be glad you had it once you heal. My surgery was definitely worth it.

I hope all goes well with you and will keep you in my thoughts for sure!

"Alana"

14

Baby Murdered -- JW literature found at scene.....

by Alana in

jw
friends

i didn't know if this had been posted yet.

another death with a loose jw connection.....it doesn't say they were jw's, but that they had a jw materials......but, no matter what, it's a sad, sad situation.

posted: 4:47 pm edt april 28, 2006. a 9-month-old boy who was found dead in a neighborhood on detroit's eastside friday morning, may have been killed as a form of religious sacrifice.

Alana

I didn't know if this had been posted yet. Another death with a loose JW connection.....it doesn't say they were JW's, but that they had a JW materials......but, no matter what, it's a sad, sad situation.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/9077272/detail.html?subid=22100415&qs=1;bp=t

Baby Found Dead In Yard

Slaying Result Of Possible Religious Sacrifice

POSTED: 4:47 pm EDT April 28, 2006

A 9-month-old boy who was found dead in a neighborhood on Detroit's eastside Friday morning, may have been killed as a form of religious sacrifice.

According to police, Raphael Thomas and his live-in girlfriend, Betty Jenkins, were involved in a Bible study in their Detroit home when Thomas and his girlfriend began to argue.

The two exchanged words and Thomas grabbed hold of a can of red spray paint and wrote the word "revelations" on the walls throughout the home. He tossed his Bible outside along with other items that may be linked to a Jehovah Witness, according to police.

Thomas then grabbed his son and left the home, Local 4 reported.

Jenkins phoned police, but help didn't come in time. Thomas was found walking along Gratiot Avenue in Detroit stabbing himself. He inflicted more than 30 knife wounds on his body, according to police.

The baby was not with Thomas, but was found dead a short time after in the back yard of a home. Police said the baby had been mutilated from the inside out.

Thomas told police he freed his baby from the evils of the earth, leading investigators to believe the slaying of the baby was a form of religious sacrifice.

The man was taken to Detroit Receiving Hospital and treated with nearly 200 stitches. He remains in the psychiatric ward of the hospital.

Police said they didn't receive the 911 call until about 2:20 a.m., but a neighbor of the family said he phoned police at 10:30 p.m.

The child's mother is not in custody and not involved in the death of the baby.

The father is facing charges of murder.

Police continue to investigate, and the issue of the 911 call remains uncertain.

56

What sort of forum member are you?

by greendawn in

jw
friends

what kind of a forum member do you consider yourself to be?

are you trying to be dedicated, helpful to others, humourous, expressive, intellectual, or something else?

Alana

I guess I'm a quiet listener. I'm addicted to the forum, although I'm fairly invisible. I just sit back and absorb it all. And....I am very appreciative to all you talkative ones out there....who have helped me see that I was not alone in my fading or in my experiences in life. Thank you all!

11

Interesting how things seem to happen sometimes......

by troubled mind in

ever since i have begun this jw fade i have this strong desire to reconnect with those i have shunned in my past.

thankfully my own brother and wife have accepted my heartfelt apologizes and are now a part of my life again.

on my husband 's side of the family he has a brother he has not seen in about 12 years.

Alana

I also felt like you did after I faded. I contacted a few people that I had shunned as a JW to apologize for how I acted, etc. There were just a handful that I knew how to get ahold of, but most were kind and appreciative.

I was able to reconnect to a good friend of mine and she said that she understood that it wasn't me that was being unkind and that I was just doing what I felt I was supposed to do. She said that she knew I was a good person at heart and that someday it would all work out and that she always loved me no matter what. That meant alot to me.

I didn't hear back from the sister of my best friend while growing up. Later I called her home and she coldly acknowledged that she got my messages and that she didn't want to speak to me and hung up. My dad was the P.O. at the time of her DF'ing and he was party to the witch hunt to get her DF'd, and I was just an annoying little girl who'd always be at her house when we were growing up, so I figure that she had alot of emotions involved and I was just opening up the wounds. Her girls have never had a real relationship with their grandparents or their many aunts & uncles. Their family was torn apart. I just hate what that religion does to people and families.

I sure hope you are able to reconnect and get back a good family relationship!!

"Alana"

9

Got a Visit Yesterday

by Nosferatu in

jw
friends

i was at home last night, fixing some 8-track tapes, when i got a knock at the door.

the wife is out of town, so i'm wondering who the hell is knocking on my door.. i opened it, and there was my mother and another lady from my old congregation.

this lady is one of the few genuinely good people in the congregation.

Alana

I'm confused as to how you think her not being a JW would allow her to do so much more? It sounds like she cares for people because she is a nice person. Whether she helps other dubs or not shouldn't really matter.

I understand it to mean that she could do much more, perhaps by volunteer work, helping in a food bank or food kitchen, meals on wheels, or any other secular program that reaches out to help others. As a JW that wouldn't be looked upon well at all, as that is helping wordly organizations, when every good JW knows that any 'extra' time you have should be focused only on JW-related activities. At least that is how it is in my neck of the woods.

25

How does mainstream Christianity explain "Other Sheep"?

by Alana in

i'm preparing for a potential discussion with my mom and, especially if it occurs near this memorial time, the discussion may contain the "other sheep" and how they are different and shouldn't partake of the emblems, etc.

i know that i probably have this information researched already, but since my last move i can't find some my research materials.

i could also ask the pastor of the church i attend, but that involves too much discussion as to what the jw's believe, etc.

Alana

YES! That is just what I was looking for. I know that I had some of this previously researched, but couldn't find it for quotes. Thank you all very much for this information. I don't usually push too much with my mom, as she'll be 80 this fall and without the JW beliefs, I do believe she'd be totally lost.....like having the foundation of her entire life pulle out from underneath her. Of course, I had that happen, but I was in my 30's at the time and had more time to 'recover', but I just think she is the type that it would just kill her. But, I slowly bring up things to explain why I don't believe something anymore like she does. I can tell that she will start to "get it" and then will snap into 'cult mode'. Fortunately she is a sweet person whom I believe God understands and loves. :-)

25

How does mainstream Christianity explain "Other Sheep"?

by Alana in

i'm preparing for a potential discussion with my mom and, especially if it occurs near this memorial time, the discussion may contain the "other sheep" and how they are different and shouldn't partake of the emblems, etc.

i know that i probably have this information researched already, but since my last move i can't find some my research materials.

i could also ask the pastor of the church i attend, but that involves too much discussion as to what the jw's believe, etc.

Alana

I'm preparing for a potential discussion with my mom and, especially if it occurs near this Memorial time, the discussion may contain the "other sheep" and how they are different and shouldn't partake of the emblems, etc. I know that I probably have this information researched already, but since my last move I can't find some my research materials. I could also ask the pastor of the church I attend, but that involves too much discussion as to what the JW's believe, etc. So, I thought I'd start here to get you all's thoughts as to how mainstream churches explain or think of the "other sheep" which Jesus said were "not of this fold".

~"Alana"