Jahna

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Posts by Jahna

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  24

  Whats the "rule" on shepherding calls?

  by ButtLight in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i dont remember that much, but arent they suppose to stop by at least once a year to df'd ones?

  or did that change?.

  its coming up to two years now since i was df'd, and not one elder has stopped by...........not that i want them to!.

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  Jahna

  Greetings
  
  When I was active, I pioneered a lot in a congregation that had desperate need for any type of shepherding calls. Be it active members of the congregation, fading members or disfellowshipped ones. I found unless time was able to be counted you never saw hide nor hair from any elder. Sheparding calls were unheard of unless the elder could count it, ie unbaptized people.
  
  I thought it was just the congregation, well it was disbanded. We moved halls and it was the same story. I received one call in all my time, the elder and the CO came visiting, I had just separated from my husband who was on a restraining order due to assault (on me, in front of the police). I was facing how to feed my three children as my ex was holding the finances until such time as I went back to him, not to mention the stress of his hundreds of phone calls each day despite a restraining order against him, and looking for work knowing my only references were my ex (family business). When the elder and the CO showed up I was almost (note almost) grateful, someone actually cares, so I thought. Was I wrong. It appears some one snitched on me and my moment of weakness (perhaps the fleeing from my ex did it, I don’t actually recall) but I picked up cigarettes and smoked. Yup the whole visit was about the fact that I smoked (though at that exact moment I wasn’t any more). No mention on how I was doing, can we help, can we offer you anything, how are the children doing nothing, not a word. Smoking! They prayed, and left, never heard a word from them again, and I went out and bought a new pack of cigarettes and never went back to the hall again.
  
  I have only heard through my father of one attempt in a decade to contact me, it seems they went to him to ask for my home information. My father, bless his heart asked me, and I said I would rather not. Despite the fact they know where I work, and I guess where I live by now, I have yet to hear from any of them. After my one and only experience, never would be to soon.
  
  Call me bitter, yes I am. Just before I left there was this whole thing in the watchtower about the congregation and the love and fine shepards ect. If love is based on time you can count or don’t expect anything, then in all sincerity, I don’t need that kind of love at all. It makes my stomach turn.
  
  Jahna
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  25

  They wonder why they are losing people???

  by LongHairGal in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have to laugh at how hard they try to bring people in by knocking on doors and rv's - but once the people are in they are pushing them out the back door with both hands!

  we all remember how hard it was to stay there (even if you believed it all) - let alone the head-trips they put you through!!

  listen to this.

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  Jahna

  That is very common. When I was 18 I had this 40 year old man all over me in one hall, his brother was also looking until the Elders put a stop to it, he wasn’t “scripturally” divorced from his ex wife (who I think was living with someone else). The other brother was trying to become straight and looking (maybe it was going to help). Oh did I mention, all were studying.
  
  Because it was an isolated congregation, being a new single and young sister was frightening. The young guys had a hard time dating the girls they grew up with, and the older single guys maybe found it icky to look for the young single sisters they knew as kids. Marrying only in the lord does make things very hard for a lot of people. Fresh meat is scary. And I haven’t even mentioned the newly married brother having marital problems inviting me to his place “so I know where he lives so I can meet his wife when she gets back from her parents.”
  
  Being in the “world” was a lot easier.
  
  Jahna
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  9

  Divorce after 20 years ?

  by oldflame in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was talking to a friend the other day, he told me that he wanted to get married but there was a problem with that.

  he told me that he and his wife split over 20 years ago and he does not know where she is.

  he said he has looked and cannot find her so he can file divorce papers.

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  Jahna

  Your best bet is to contact a lawyer in your state for legal advise. They should be able to help you.
  
  Good luck
  
  Jahna
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  17

  Helpful JWs

  by greendawn in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  we generally hear negative stories about the jws but were there any who did an act of kindness towards you that really helped you out?

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  Jahna

  When I was pregnant with my second I was put on bed rest (I was very close to losing her). Not easy having a two year old running around and living in the country. One sister came by every Tuesday and cleaned my house for the book study that night. She even took all my laundry and within a few hours I had everything back, shirts even pressed. She was such a wonderful lady. She was also the first and only Witness who really did any act of kindness during this time (but for some help from family who lived over an hour away), or after. The rest of the congregation, well, didn’t even call. They even stopped having the service meeting on Wednesdays because I couldn’t go out. It wasn’t even out of the way, I could see the houses of everyone who went out from my driveway, guess it was too far. Little did they know, I really looked forward to the spiritual time, and company. The sudden stop without reason left me depressed. What the real killer was, was having the whole sisterhood in the congregation help my mother in law (yes we were in the same congregation) make pickles (cause her back was giving her problems) yet not even a visit for me when I was stuck in the house for at least a couple of months trying to watch for my son. I made the stupid mistake of not missing a meeting, or the assembly, I guess. Shows what being spiritually strong actually means.
  
  That time period of my life was ultimately the one that started me down the path of leaving.
  
  Jahna
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  6

  Not whole blood, but individual parts okay

  by daystar in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  since i am unable to search this forum, i thought i'd ask for help.

  i have heard that the org now says that all the parts of blood are okay for transfusion individually, just not whole blood.

  but i've not actually seen this in any wbts publication.

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  Jahna

  That is because like everything else, the elders are not up to date with new thinking and doctrine. Who can since it changes so darn often.
  
  Jahna
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  42

  I'm new to the forum and desperate for support

  by muse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i will be very brief on my introduction as i need to get straight to the point.

  i was raised in the 'truth' from birth.

  i got baptized at 16 (elder dad hassled me) and managed to do the 'slow fade' at 18 (it helped that i moved 50 miles away from home).

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  Jahna

  Hello Muse, welcome to the board
  
  My heart goes out to you at this time of personal difficulty. It is very hard to watch your loved ones go into the hospital for any sort of operation. Because your belief systems are different from your parents I can understand the dilemma your facing. My own personal bit of advice is this:
  
  Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.
  
  In matters of health care there are so many factors that everyone can’t agree on. Do not resuscitate orders, types of medication, treatment ect are all personal matters. Unless your asked your opinion, you should respect the choices of others in such personal decisions. As much as you don’t agree, wouldn’t pick it for yourself, trust that your loved one has made the best choice for them and really who are we to interfere. If you want to interfere, and not respect this choice, expect that your choices are not to be respected back.
  
  Jahna
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  43

  Did you ever feel like you never fit in?

  by Dragonlady76 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was growing up in dubland, i always felt like i never "fit" in with the other kids in the cong or their families.

  i always knew deep down that i didn't like being a jw and their had to be more to life than meetings and field service.

  i just wanted to be normal, like the other kids and have sleepovers, birthday parties, after school activities and christmas etc..... my folks were and still are devout dubs and my dad in particular is the nicest man you will ever meet, he would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it, no questions asked.

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  Jahna

  I never fit in. For one, as a child through my teens I always got along better with boys. They always were more interesting. When my parents went back to the JW’s when I was a teen, I found out, a girl can’t hang out with boys, that’s bad. I had little to nothing in common with girls who ignored me anyways.
  
  I tried having friends of my own sex, had a couple but it wasn’t all that close. Near the middle to end of my career as a JW, I honestly felt as if God himself was keeping me from finding friendship in the congregation because I was such a bad person! I always found excuses for the JW’s, I was to young, old, not part of the family ect, till finally it was all my fault.
  
  Now that I am out, I still get along far better with men then I do with women. I just can’t sit around and talk about kids and dance music all day like many of the ladies around me. At least now, I can talk to a man and not get in trouble for it. Though, I still have a very very hard time making friends. I have to admit in that part of my life the JW's screwed me up royally.
  
  Jahna
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  29

  Did anyone find the DC encouraging?

  by sweet tee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remember going to the assemblies and conventions and feeling encouraged by the information that was presented.

  in hindsight, i may have just felt that way because that's how you were supposed to feel.

  i was a 100% brainwashed fool for many years, if the gb said it, i did, i felt it and i believed it .

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  Jahna

  You mean other then being in the men’s washroom with a baby or two, and coming back to your chair hearing “be at your seats” “do more” “why aren’t you pioneering” “do more” “don’t have kids” “do more” Getting a migraine and trying to keep three kids happy listening to “do more” I found the whole thing very encouraging. So encouraged I never want to put myself through it again!
  
  Spiritual refreshment? I never witnessed it. Back pain, migraines, the mandatary all three kids get sick a week later, guilt trip, argument with spouse, tired aching feet, whining kids, spilled drinks, ungrateful “do more” society kind of killed the refreshment part of the whole experience.
  
  Jahna
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  34

  What are the differences between JW’s of different countries?

  by DannyBloem in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

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  when i read some of the posts i cant help wondering that things do not go always the same everywhere.

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  Jahna

  Hello Danny
  
  We had a brother visit from Germany and he showed pictures of the congregations there, I noticed he also had a beard, and was (he says) in good standing. That would not fly here in Canada. Being topless (even though legal here in Ontario Canada) is a big no no. Showing cleavage is a no no in many congregations.
  
  I have found though that even within the country, certain areas have different no no’s then others. Out east sisters must wear panty hose, all of the time. They were real anal about the length of hair for men, etc. In Ontario, you don’t have to wear panty hose, men’s hair can touch the collar of their shirts but not below and white shirts are not required by most congregations. Some even allowed the men on platform without a jacket if it was too hot, though I had one who despite not having air conditioning or even a breeze through the windows made everyone wear full suits. They figured extra fans and chasing after notes flying around made it all better! The odd man passing out from heat just added to the interest of dull meetings. I also never got in trouble over my splits in my skirt and they were above the knee (had to wear panty hose though lol).
  
  I find it funny that unwritten laws seem to differ in each congregation, when most of them are personal preference to begin with. As for disfellowshipping rules, I have never personally witnessed any member being brought up for talking to family members who were disfellowshipped. Then again most just wouldn’t at least for a time.
  
  
  Jahna
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  27

  Canadians will need a "Passport" to enter the US, starting next year

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i read that late next year, canadians who will want to go to the us, will need a passport.. it was so easy to go to the us in the past.

  now, when you cross the border, you need lots of id, and they even ask for you birth certificate.. but, late next year, canadians will need a passport to enter the us.. knowing this, i went to the post office to get a form to fill up, in order to get my canadian passport.

  i was surprised to see all those questions on that form.

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  Jahna

  Actually you won't need the passport (yet) to get into Canada, but rather, to get back into the US.
  
  Jahna