Posts by itsallgoodnow

53

Sorry, need to moan and belly ache

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

i normally try not to moan and belly ache here, but today i'm really down.

the other day i was kidding and joking about being "socially-challenged", it can be fun to do this... but sometimes it catches up to me.

i spend the vast majority of my evenings and weekends alone... movies, restaurants, community events, parties, you name it.

itsallgoodnow

Hi Else!

I was thinking about something I read about how popular people actually think differently than others. In social situations, they have a positive view of themselves, even when rejected. They tend to think the rejection was not about them personally, but about the other person. Or they don't see it as a rejection at all, but more like the person had something else they needed to do. As a result, the popular person doesn't just give up there, but will ask again later.

But when people have a negative view of themselves, they expect rejection and when they get it, it reinforces the negative view of themselves.

Plus, if you come across as someone who is really hard on themselves, others might pick up on that and think you are really hard on everyone.

It's just a social situation a lot of "raised as JWs" have trouble with, not having had a chance to start dating during normal developing stages as teenagers. Don't beat yourself up over it.

As far as conversational awkwardness, we all have that from time to time. The easiest way to deal with that is what everyone else said, show some interest in others. Remember what they said to you last time, without seeming creepy (ie asking about how a trip was 2 years ago when you saw her last). Lots of times, I feel so self centered when I forget to ask someone how their specific weekend plans went. I totally forgot about what they were so excited about and they tend to think I'm just a selfish bitch. Which I probably am. But when I watch other people, I notice they remember specifics about what someone was doing and they ask about it, which carries lots of conversations. Mostly, I think you just need to relax and other people will be relaxed talking to you.

Good luck with it! I probably will forget to ask you how this is going because I will have completely forgotten all about it in about 2 days. Sorry in advance.

9

Is there a certain TYPE of person who leaves the org?

by M.J. in

just wondering.

do ex-jws generally fit a certain profile?

is it only a matter of time for some types of people to find their way out?.

itsallgoodnow

I think it's all about who can stay in denial longer. The longer you can keep your eyes and ears closed, the longer you can stay in. The longer you can stand the self-loathing, the longer you stay in.

I have known people who were considered "weak" who are still going at it, and people who were considered "strong" long gone.

18

My personal experiences. How long can I keep up this facade?

by alienagent in

i am a 34 your old man who has been raised a jw.

i am baptised and have been inactive for some time now.

i live with my mother (a devout jw) and my youngest sister who is df'd.

itsallgoodnow

welcome alienagent! I can totally relate to not wanting to be the cause of additional stress in a parent's life. Don't want to give them a coronary, either! LOL. which is why I have let them push me around all this time, too. I'm not in the exact situation as you are, but I would think, if your mom is ok with living with her disfellowshipped daughter, which probably was a lot for her to handle when it happened, she might be able to deal with you leaving the religion, too. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard for her if she thinks what took you away was the girlfriend, instead of having doubts. Doubts scare and threaten them. They are always fighting doubts and don't like them rubbed in their faces, although they quite deserve it.

This is the life your mom chose, so she should have to deal with the consequences of her choice. She knew when she made that choice, her children might not follow, so she made the decision to make that choice anyway. Let her be who she is, and don't worry about her, she made her own bed. If she can't let you be who you are, that's her problem.

If I was in your situation, I would offer to help her financially, if you can, after you leave her home, regardless of your standing in the congregation. If she doesn't want your help, so be it.

And here I am with all this advice I can't bring myself to follow! LOL.

Good luck!

6

Mormons do a shunning?

by Sparkplug in

jw
friends

this lady i work with started studying with mormons and then decided to quit.

whe said they told her she was in a darkness or an outer circle something like that.

but at any rate she decided that she did not mind and never went back, she said she would live in her outer realm.

itsallgoodnow

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LDS_Apostates

69

Just returned from the 2006 (Armageddon's here) "Deliverance At Hand" DO

by apocalypse in

how much can one person gag?

it is interesting to note that clive thomas (canadian branch office) spoke during his part in such a way as to betray the fact that he was personally aware that what he was saying was false.. it's one thing when a local onion gets exuberant about parroting the gb's nonsense.

it's quite another when a bloodsucker like clive comes from the branch and does a "bait 'n switch" the way he did.

itsallgoodnow

welcome Justice-One. your monk mail was cute, I wished I had turned my speakers down before I clicked on it. Hopefully none of my co-workers heard your little message! LOL.

19

Do you know of any "apostate" ex-jws that became "BAC's" that quit bac's?

by booker-t in

jw
friends

i remember when i left jw's and started going to born-again christians(bac's) churches my "atheist" father laughed at me and told me that i would eventually leave bac's because like j.f.

rutherford said "religion is a snare and racket".

he said bac's and jws are just on an endless treadmill motivated by "fear" and not love for god into going to church/kh.

itsallgoodnow

Lt, defensive, defensive. LOL.

One of my never baptised family members recently became a BAC. I can't understand why anyone would go for the harshest version of the Christian faith (at least in the US, it seems) after rejecting everything about JWs. I guess as you get older, you change.

I have a friend who has gotten very involved with her evangelical church over the last few years. They made her a deacon recently. I've seen her change from a happy, fun and balanced person into an angry, judgemental, stressed out person. I don't know how much her association with this group has been the cause of these changes. She talks to me about religion a lot, but always manages to turn the discussion into an infomercial for her church. She said her family wasn't happy she joined with the Evangelicals. I figure some churches probably operate the same way as JWs, lovebombing and hiding the truth about their teachings until after you get too involved and it's too late. I don't know about her church, though, she insists it's not like the other evangelical churches. But I have seen her happiness levels go downhill, so I don't know if the church has anything to do with that or not.

69

Just returned from the 2006 (Armageddon's here) "Deliverance At Hand" DO

by apocalypse in

how much can one person gag?

it is interesting to note that clive thomas (canadian branch office) spoke during his part in such a way as to betray the fact that he was personally aware that what he was saying was false.. it's one thing when a local onion gets exuberant about parroting the gb's nonsense.

it's quite another when a bloodsucker like clive comes from the branch and does a "bait 'n switch" the way he did.

itsallgoodnow

Really? A resolution not to research JWs on the internet? Funny! I figure, resolution or not, those who would do it will do it anyway, and those who wouldn't do it still won't do it. It changes nothing.

18

WTS getting desperate, Notes from CO talk

by doinmypart in

jw
friends

here are my wife's notes from the co talk this past tuesday.. 1c christians preached despite demonic activity (acts 4:1,2).

acts 4:18-20 shows they continued b/c they had god's spirit.

acts 5 all the apostles were imprisoned and about to be put to death, but were beaten & released instead.

itsallgoodnow

same guilt inducing crap, different day.

55

Hemoglobin-Based Oxygen Carriers - August 2006 Awake!

by AnnOMaly in

i think this is the first clear, official statement regarding hemoglobin-based products.

awake!

august 2006, front page title "blood: why so valuable?".

itsallgoodnow

You know what this does? For some Witnesses, it loosens the leash a bit, but for real, honest-to-God, faithful JWs... they don't read "it's a matter of conscience." They read this as "if you want to get into the New World, you will avoid this medical procedure." I know this. I have friends who have stated that VERY OPINION to me.
This isn't a "big change." This isn't a "step in the right direction." It's just the same old fucking bullshit. I'm shaking right now because I'm so angry at reading this.

I agree. Way back a few years ago when this all came out the first time, they wanted everyone to fill out a form to show which specific procedures their consciences would allow them to have, and my family did this all together. I was the only one who said my conscience would allow everything I could have. I got all these disapproving looks. they said I picked the same thing the weak people they knew were picking. I told them I would do whatever they said I could do, they said we could do it, right? There was really nothing they could say, and they knew it. The pink elephant really could not be mentioned, you know? It was all pressure and nothing to back it up. Useless. All of them.

5

Shunning shunners

by LovesDubs in

jw
friends

just when i thought my family couldnt be more discordant and dysfunctional because of the jws, we now have the element of some of the nonjws getting sick of the jws who are shunning the exjws and the nonjws are now shunning the jws for shunning!

jeeeeez louise.

my husband of 19 years is a jw, one of his sisters is a jw as is her husband and all of her kids, and so one mentally challenged sister also baptized.

itsallgoodnow

So basically, nobody in this family is talking to anybody else much. We dont have ANY family gatherings. My kids cant see their own cousins, my mother in law cant see her own kids or grandkids and we owe it ALLLL to the LOOOOOVE of JEHOOOOOVER.
Anybody else seeing this going on??

exactly what goes on in many families. When this happens, I have to wonder if people are doing what they want to do anyway, and the religion provides a perfect excuse for it?