Yes, I admit I obsess, I obsess, I obsess about the WT Org, but it is hard not to when it keeps being thrown in your face by members of the Org (much like a continual attack). Every encounter sends me realing in one directions or another. Sometimes I want to DA myself just to get them to leave me alone, but learning to set up some boundaries now to protect myself. I hate the WT Org for what it has done to many people's lives and it is frustrating to know that people in there are suffering because of the Org, but not recognizing the reasons for their pain. When I watch their pain I relive mine...it's hard...I haven't figured it out yet. I am working on it though. Hope to get past it one day, but doubt if I ever will completely.
I think this board is helpful in the sense that we can purge some of this stuff out here. I stuffed so many things for so many years and the posts do trigger many unpleasant memories that are stuffed in there. At last I can get these things out in the light and air them out. It validates my feelings about things being wrong were real and not just my weakness or lack of faith. Why did I feel ill when brother-so-in-so said such in such--because brother-so-in-so was a control freak! why did I feel horrible when sister-so-in-so said such-in-such--because sister was not a nice person! I knew it then, but I stuffed it and it helps me to come out of the daze I had been in for 20 years. It is hard and painful at times, but part of becoming human again too.
cybs