Posts by confuzzlediam

19

Sorry, But Your Sad Story Doesn't Make Me Feel Better. Is it supposed to?

by Tempest in a Teacup in

jw
friends

i have very recently come out of a bout of severe depression which lasted for years.

i have ginormous underlying issues which i hardly talk about, especially to my family.. today my sister came in, wanting to force me to do something she wanted.

her strategy was to make me feel bad for feeling bad, just to show me that my problem (which she has no idea of but thinks she does) wasn't the biggest in the world.

confuzzlediam

My sister has suffered from depression most of her life. She is bi-polar. There were times that I didn't know how to deal with her, so I would keep my distance. Over the past five years, I have learned that this is something that she struggles with every day and all she needs is someone to listen to her, not to tell her to just get over it. I am sure there have been many times that she has either walked away from a conversation or hung up the phone and thought the same thing as you do about yours. This past year, she went into a severe depression and was hospitalized around the same time that I left my husband of 25 years. I was suffering from a situational depression that had me in bed or on the couch most days, all day, for the first few months and drinking to numb my pain. This helped me to understand her a bit better, except mine would eventually get better with time but with her, she has to live with it day in and day out for as long as she is alive.

30

Would you give your life for those that shun you?

by Esse quam videri in

'no one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.'.

many have been hurt by the practice of shunning.

family members, [former?

confuzzlediam

Yes, I would. Just because they have shunned me, does not mean that I have stopped loving them. Call me crazy! lol

28

How hard is it to attend a congregation outside of the territory where you live? Consequences for doing so.

by hoser in

jw
friends

i need to change congregation but stay living in the same place.

any experience with this.

confuzzlediam

I never thought twice about moving to a different hall from the one that we were assigned. We just up and moved, told the elders in the new hall that we were transferring over. They got our publisher's cards and that was that. It is nobody's business why you move. Just say it is a better fit for you and your family.

64

The poor and deprived life of JW children.

by Esse quam videri in

i find it hard to believe that adults on this forum make such a big deal about not celebrating birthdays, x-mas, easter, halloween, etc, etc, etc.

i grew up as a jw kid and it actually made me feel good, being different from the other kids in school.

we went to meetings.

confuzzlediam

I agree that the poster should not compare his growing up to others experiences growing up in the WT. Maybe he is a poser. But I have to say that while I thought I was missing out on celebrating the holidays, school functions and sports as a kid, I look back and am ok with it. I was still allowed to play with the neighbor kids, but also had friends that were witnesses. My parents did not have much growing up and celebrating the holidays would have put a financial strain on them. I was actually ok with going to the school library or walking home while the other kids had the holiday parties. The school library had this super cool covered wagon in it that I would have all to myself to read while they were in the classroom. And being able to walk home and spend time there was cool cuz I was the only kid that could do it! I actually liked getting up on stage and giving talks, even though I was a girl and had to do it with a householder. As I got older, I would volunteer for a talk if someone cancelled at the last minute. I also liked going out in service. Not because I liked talking to people about God, but I loved going with friends and family in the car so we could sit and talk! Not to mention going on breaks to get coffee and donuts!! It was especially fun when someone would get stuck at the door for a long time, cuz that meant that we could sit in the car and talk. It was purely a social thing for me!

When my kids were younger and we were taking them out in field service, we would make it fun for them by just hitting laundry mats and gas stations. They didn't have to talk to anyone, just grab a couple of watchtowers and awakes and leave them on a counter. We usually cut the mornings short and would go out for lunch with our friends and family, sometimes hanging out with them for the rest of the day. When it came to the days that they would have holiday parties, my kids would stay home all day and we would plan something fun for them to do with other witness kids who attended the same school. Halloween would be spent in the basement of our house with our close friends and family watching movies and eating pizza, popcorn and apple crisp. OR we would all go out to dinner. Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent with family, eating and playing games, as usually it was the only time off during the year that we could all get together cuz everyone had the day off.

I guess we tried to make it less awkward for our kids. They still had neighbor kids and kids from school over. So, we were not the uber strict witnesses that some of those in the hall were. I get it that not everyone shared my experiences growing up, but I certainly won't tell you all to just get over it and grow up!!

I am not bitter about being raised a witness when it comes to missing out on the holidays and what not. I ended up doing the same for my kids, because I THOUGHT that I was doing right by them from what I was taught to believe. I AM bitter however about never having a choice as to what to believe in for fear of losing my witness friends and family. Getting baptized at 16 when I had NO clue what I was in for, doing it because it was the thing to do, not because I believed in it 100%. Being wrongfully disfellowshipped over a fun night of going out with my adult witness friends who turned their back on their friends, to save their own ass. I am bitter over the way the WT has such a firm grip over their followers and the tactics that they use to keep you in. Which is why I will never go back. I love my life, my friends, my boyfriend and the fact that my kids don't want to have anything to do with it. And you know what?? They are great kids, even though their witness friends are taught to think differently about them.

Rambling over...must be the 10 hours of sleep that I had and the 3 cups of coffee!! lol BTW...I really have enjoyed reading about everyone's personal experiences on this thread. It is interesting to me to read how each of us being raised as witnesses have had different stories to tell about their childhood and their thoughts as to how it has affected them as adults.

53

questions

by DanielC in

i've been dating a jw girl for about 4 years and we've recently had a lot of issues with the fact that her family doesn't like that i'm not a jw.

i've been looking into the religion and am interested in it.

but is it wrong to join just so i don't lose her?

confuzzlediam

i've been dating a JW girl for about 4 years and we've recently had a lot of issues with the fact that her family doesn't like that i'm not a JW. I've been looking into the religion and am interested in it. But is it wrong to join just so I don't lose her?

I am finding it hard to write down my thoughts on this. Part of me wants to tell you to run! The other part of me wants to tell you to look into it and make an informed decision based on what is right for YOU, not what is right for you and your girlfriend. If you are doing it based ONLY on not wanting to lose her, then you need to think long and hard about that. Essentially you would be putting on a false facade, which would not be fair to her.

If you are doing it because you genuinely are interested in what the religion teaches, then you also need to think long and hard on that as well!! lol Becoming one of Jehovah's Witnesses is a lifelong commitment. It is a lifestyle that revolves around a religion telling you exactly how to behave. Once you are baptized, your every move will be under scrutiny by the entire congregation, your girlfriend and her family. You are not allowed to question beliefs once you are "in". One false move and you will lose everything. I know that from personal experience.

I try not to judge others by the way they believe. If you think that this is the religion for you, then who am I to tell you what to do. Again, this is a decision that only YOU can make. Just make sure that you don't rush into it. Research and question EVERYTHING that you are told. Don't believe it just because they said so.

My kids are 17 and 21 and were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses. After I was disfellowshipped, 5 years ago, we pretty much stopped going as a family. I left and divorced their dad a year ago, but he does not go either. My daughter (21) recently broke up with her boyfriend/fiancee of 5 1/2 years (who was NOT a witness) and she has her cousins trying to set her up with JW's that they know. I teased my daughter and told her she was forbidden from dating a witness! LOL She is good with it!!

I wish you the best with your decision. Again, ultimately you have to do what is right for YOU, and only YOU know what that is. The worst thing you can do is not be true to yourself just so you won't lose someone else. I did that for 25 years in my marriage. Tried to be what my husband wanted me to be. Now I am dating someone who loves me for me...no false facade now!! It is a GREAT feeling!!

25

Witnesses Preach to Dog

by snugglebunny in

jw
friends

"in el salvador, one man tied his vicious dog in front of the door whenever he saw jehovahs witnesses nearby.

the man would wait for the witnesses to move on, and then he would bring the dog back into the house.

the brothers were never able to speak to the man.

confuzzlediam

WingCommander LOVE the Smurf comment!! I was not allowed to watch the show after all that stuff came out about how Papa smurf was a sorcerer and what not! lol The tales that were spun were scary to me at the time because of how they were presented to me...now I look back and laugh at how out of control it all got! After reading the first part of Crisis of Conscience, I now see that all the "experiences" that are told are just made up to fit their agenda.

14

JW Personality used as an excuse....

by Anon_SA1 in

jw
friends

i had a discussion with a current jw member of +- 30 years, we got chatting about how you can be sure your faith is right and what checks can be done.

i then suggested looking at ex members view points and literature.

her response was her "i am not someone who takes initiative to look online at stuff, i doesn't feel my personality needs me look at outside view points" in summary she was saying her personality type is not interested in looking at other views.

confuzzlediam

I agree to a certain degree that it can be based on personality. Some personalities are just ok with going along with the crowd. If they are told it is the truth, they will not question, they really don't care either way. If they are happy with what they know to be the truth, then why research it?

On the other hand, there are those whose personalities question everything in existence and don't just do as they are told. They have an innate sense of what they feel is not right and will research the crap out of it to find out whether or not what they are being told is the truth or not. From politics to religion to buying a new car!

Agreed as well though that it is a mindset on what has been spoken over and over again, not to question something they are told to be the truth, only to believe that it is the truth. As a born in, this was driven into my mind for 39 years of the 44 that I have been alive. It is only when you break free from this mindset, that your instincts really start kicking in. Breaking free for me came from being wrongfully disfellowshipped. I started to question the unloving way the elders treated my situation, then began questioning if they could treat someone like that, then was God really with them. That lead me down the path to learning for myself whether or not I believed in a God...still questioning, still researching, still learning.

I heard the same things from my x-husband when I would tell him certain things that I had read or saw here on this site. For example, one time I told him I had a copy of the elder's book. He told me that just because it was posted, didn't mean that someone didn't go in and change it to fit their "agenda" against the watchtower. Again, that comes from many years of being told that apostates have an agenda and are willing to go to any lengths to get you to turn away from the organization, lying to you about "truths" just to get you to turn away from Jah.

46

WT addresses the "rapture" teaching.

by wifibandit in

look at paragraph 15 of the 2015 july 15th study edition pg 18-19.. http://imgur.com/3wparys.

.

basically they admit to teaching the rapture (for the anointed remnant), just don't call it that!.

confuzzlediam

OH yeah!! I was at the meeting 2 years ago when they went over it from the WT study mag. At the time, I was going back to meetings just to get reinstated. My husband (now x) was not there with me, so called him IMMEDIATELY after meeting to tell him what I had just heard. I read to him from the study article and told him this is the rapture!! I left that meeting with such a headache...that was when it became crystal clear that I no longer wanted any part of the religion.

To say that they do not believe in a "rapture" but sit there and say that whom ever is left on earth out of the 144,000 at armageddon would be taken into the heavens is so deceiving to me! Either call it what it is, or don't teach it at all.

This was mentioned in the memorial talk last week. I just rolled my eyes as I was listening to it. However, it once again confirmed why I won't ever go back.

51

NEW 2012 Elders book with 2015 Amendments

by Newly Enlightened in

thanks to jw archive wiki we have a pdf of the new elders book.. https://www.dropbox.com/s/mz9z38909t3fh7c/2012-shepherd-the-flock-of-god-ks10_e.pdf?dl=0.

confuzzlediam

Oubliette Whew thanks!! Glad to have that cleared up! I need to go now...will be back in 5! lol

Oh yes...I am SO VERY glad that homosexuality is now cleared up for me as well. I wasn't quite sure how that all worked...

51

NEW 2012 Elders book with 2015 Amendments

by Newly Enlightened in

thanks to jw archive wiki we have a pdf of the new elders book.. https://www.dropbox.com/s/mz9z38909t3fh7c/2012-shepherd-the-flock-of-god-ks10_e.pdf?dl=0.

confuzzlediam

Reading through the book, I found this: An entrenched practice of viewing, perhaps over a considerable period of time, abhorrent forms of pornography that is sexually degrading. Such pornography may include homosexuality (sex between those of the same gender), group sex, bestiality, sadistic torture, bondage, gang rape, the brutalizing of women, or child pornography. Brazen conduct would be involved if the offender was promoting such material, such as by inviting others to view it, thus giving evidence of a brazen attitude.—w12 3/15 pp. 30-31; w06 7/15 p. 31.

SO does this mean that one can watch porn with only a man and a woman and that is ok? Just wondering...