confuzzlediam
JoinedPosts by confuzzlediam
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69
Average Age of this Forum?
by Garrett inheyo!.
i'm quite interested in knowing the average age of those of us who use this forum.
i made a quick strawpoll that you can find at the following link: http://strawpoll.me/4340636 just pick an age and click "vote" if you wish to participate.. admins: if this breaks any rules, i apologize in advance..
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confuzzlediam
I am 44 and have been on here for about 5 years. -
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Hello, just introducing myself
by Miss Behaving ini've just signed up two days ago, but i've been lurking for about a year and a half.
here's my story if you're interested:.
my parents converted when they were in their first semester of college.
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confuzzlediam
Welcome to the forum Miss Behaving!! Your post brought me to tears. SO proud of you for standing up and having the courage to say something!! Such a brave thing to do! Reminds me of the song "Brave" by Sarah Bareilles.
I was wrongfully disfellowshipped 5 years ago, filed for divorce from a 25 year marriage last summer and started back to school at our local community college last fall. Isn't college fun?? OH MY GOSH!! I LOVE learning! Can't believe I waited till I was 43 to go back! I am a straight A student, something I honestly had no idea was in me. If you have the opportunity, look to see if your college offers a Critical Reasoning class. I am taking it this quarter and it has been life changing for me. I am also looking at taking a Comparative Religion class in the fall, with the same teacher as my Critical Reasoning class.
SO happy that you have a MUCH earlier start than I had. I am giving my kids (ages 17 and 21) that early start as well. They are both in college and living lives outside the org. Life is good out here! LOL
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Secret disfellowshipping
by disillusioned 2 ini always thought it was ridiculous that when a person was disfellowshipped they didn't tell us why.
everybody would speculate, but we wouldn't know the real reason.
also i thought they were only supposed to be disfellowshipped if they weren't repentant and wouldn't stop doing the wrong thing.
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confuzzlediam
My case was a bit different. I was being accused of being a drunkard after a LONG investigation into a night out with some in the congregation. There were elders who came in from other congregations, some as far as 2 hours away to meet with the various brothers and sisters in the group whose conduct was in question. By the time they got to interview my then husband and I, many had told the elders that both my husband and I had been drunk on the night in question. We went to the meeting armed with info from the watchtower and said we were not drunk that on the night in question. I made the mistake of saying that I knew I was not drunk that night because I did not throw up. Well, apparently that was the wrong thing to say. They then began to ask me how many times I had thrown up from drinking, when was the last time I had thrown up from drinking and what was I going to do to correct it. The "interview" then turned into an impromptu judicial committee meeting as there was a third elder in waiting.
LONG LONG story...but I refused to give in and say that I was a drunkard when I clearly did not have a problem with drinking. All of my friends and family were willing to vouch for me, even my kids! I was 39 and while I had been drunk in the past on occasion, I was by no means a drunkard. It was when they asked me if I felt stabbed in the heart like David did for going against God's laws, I said yes I do feel a stabbing, but it is not in the heart, more like in the back by my "friends". They also compared getting drunk with committing adultery. Just one time of committing adultery was a sin, so therefore getting drunk just one time was also a sin and needed to be taken to the elders. After being asked what I was going to do to make sure I didn't get drunk again, I said before I answer that, let me ask you, how much is too much to drink? I asked why they drank and wanted to know at what point in drinking that I needed to stop before I had sinned against God.
Needless to say, they disfellowshipped me. I was considered unrepentant because I would not admit to my being called a drunkard. That was 5 years ago this last January. We appealed it, to no avail. My friends and family were in shock as they all knew me. Letters were sent into the WT headquarters by my parents and other friends, only to be either unanswered or were told that there was nothing to be done about it.
SO I guess what I am trying to get at, is sometimes people are wrongfully disfellowshipped. It was that I was not what they were accusing me of, so I didn't feel the need to repent for it. I questioned them, which I found out the hard way, that you do NOT do!! All in all, there were 6 who were publicly reproved because they admitted to being drunk on the night in question, 3 others were DF'd for various other reasons that came up in their interviews. Only 2 of the 4 who were disfellowshipped were reinstated. Myself and my x-SIL are still disfellowshipped and are still best friends!!
Would I change the way I reacted?? NOPE!! Not at all. No regrets. I am a much happier person now. I am finally free to think for myself and not how they want me to act or think. I am NOT the bad person that they labeled me to be. I am actually a good person and I am finally living the life that I always longed for.
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confuzzlediam
This actually makes me a little sad. There was a time where, even though I was not 100% in, I loved my brother's and sister's in my cong and would have LOVED to have experienced something like this. I LONGED for things like this to happen at the kingdom hall. I would hear about other church's that had live music and thought that would be SO COOL to have. Something to brighten up a hum drum meeting, something to make me WANT to go and take my kids to.
Don't get me wrong, I am VERY happy to be where I am NOW and will not ever go back. But I remember a time when I was happy as a witness and I guess I miss my friends and family that I experienced those happy times with. sigh....
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German Branch visit talk Mark Sanderson (Parents; don't hinder young children to get baptized)
by Daniel1555 inthe video streaming of the german branch visit program was excrutiating 3.5 hours long.. i just went to see the last 45 min (part of mark sandersons talk).. i think sanderson is quite a sympathetic speaker and he kind of made a loving impression.. he didn't mention controversial stuff (except for one thing i will come to soon).
he mostly talked about how to find joy, even when life is not easy, and how much the gb loves the rank and file.. one point seemed soooo important to him.
parents and children.
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confuzzlediam
Thank God I was not one of those parents who believed my children should be baptized young. I was baptized at 16 and that was still too young in my opinion. My kid's cousins were baptized at 11 and 12, almost10 years ago. They are actually still doing well, both married now and still going to meetings. However, I remember talking to my kids when their cousins were baptized and telling them how I felt that it was WAY TOO YOUNG to be getting baptized. They never were baptized and are free to choose how and what to believe and know that I support their choice regardless. My kids don't want anything to do with being JW. But I feel bad because they, like me, don't know how or what to move on to. They just know that they don't want to be JW. It's like living in limbo... -
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Dating
by Indy98 ini have been brought up as a jehovah witness and want to date this boy who isn't a jehovah's witness.
we have talked about the trials we could go through and i was wondering because i am a unbaptised publisher could i date him without any consequences?
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confuzzlediam
My daughter was an unbaptized publisher when she started dating her boyfriend, but it was a long distance relationship. I was already disfellowshipped, so meeting attendance was not super regular, except the times that I was trying to get reinstated for family reasons. Her boyfriend moved in with us in July of 2013, after they had been dating for about 3 years. They got engaged in March of 2014 and she recently broke up with him. She was never marked or reproved for it. BUT she was also not regular at going to meetings and I am not sure when the last time she had turned in time was. I am POSITIVE family and friends in the cong. talked about her and about her dad and I, especially when he moved in. But we really didn't care.
Guess it depends on how regular you are at meetings, the congregation and how your family feels about it. For her, there was no serious consequence. I am sure that if I had seriously tried to get reinstated, they would have questioned his living with us and it may have hindered my reinstatement. Being that I condoned their relationship.
She is dating another non-witness and I have forbidden her from dating witnesses! LOL
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confuzzlediam
Awesome!! Congratulations!! Looks like an interesting movie! -
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Sorry, But Your Sad Story Doesn't Make Me Feel Better. Is it supposed to?
by Tempest in a Teacup ini have very recently come out of a bout of severe depression which lasted for years.
i have ginormous underlying issues which i hardly talk about, especially to my family.. today my sister came in, wanting to force me to do something she wanted.
her strategy was to make me feel bad for feeling bad, just to show me that my problem (which she has no idea of but thinks she does) wasn't the biggest in the world.
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confuzzlediam
My sister has suffered from depression most of her life. She is bi-polar. There were times that I didn't know how to deal with her, so I would keep my distance. Over the past five years, I have learned that this is something that she struggles with every day and all she needs is someone to listen to her, not to tell her to just get over it. I am sure there have been many times that she has either walked away from a conversation or hung up the phone and thought the same thing as you do about yours. This past year, she went into a severe depression and was hospitalized around the same time that I left my husband of 25 years. I was suffering from a situational depression that had me in bed or on the couch most days, all day, for the first few months and drinking to numb my pain. This helped me to understand her a bit better, except mine would eventually get better with time but with her, she has to live with it day in and day out for as long as she is alive. -
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Would you give your life for those that shun you?
by Esse quam videri in'no one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.'.
many have been hurt by the practice of shunning.
family members, [former?
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confuzzlediam
Yes, I would. Just because they have shunned me, does not mean that I have stopped loving them. Call me crazy! lol