No...neither. BUT...we first had a "bible study" with a family that lasted a year or two and when the study was over, the older daughter took me down into their basement where her room was and it was where I first discovered weed and bowls and black lights and Led Zep. Upstairs our folks were discussing how to alter our lives and control us, downstairs, was where I really did not care if Santa Claus was real or not. I was even "used" the next few years, as a pseudo "underage chaperone", one of those "bring her with and we can find something to do with her while we do the naughty". Some of the worst, scary experiences I had, was with an older "sister" who left me with people she thought SHE could trust. It was like feeding time at the Zoo. All the older "brothers" at the party, knew I was alone, the younger ones were too scared by elder daddy to be alone with me. It was amazing to me, the two-faced personalities. At the KH, these guys were all wholesome and polite. At a "get- togethers", designed to bring together like-minded JW young ones (c'mon, you know they hope to breed within JW race), I would be targeted fresh future elderwife/pioneer. Two of the young men actually smoked joints in front of me and tried to hand them to me and then would talk about how they saw their futures in the KH. Just say NO..to JW. It is remarkable that I actually never got into drugs, or porn or devil-worship as I was taught to avoid. Yet, still "wordly", I got a college education and am a strong, educated women. The bottom line, I saw more of my older teen JWs do drugs and have sex and it was their actions that I actually learned the negative results from. Imagine that.
lilacia
JoinedPosts by lilacia
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17
Anyone ever been to the meeting drunk or stoned???
by New Castles inok funny question....i have a friend who used to get to the meeting drunk as a skunk sometimes and he'd play it off nicely.
i do know of a couple of times he came stoned too.
anyone here ever do that, or knew someone who did??
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What do I do about a Bully?
by Stefanie inthere is this stupid kid who is picking on my 12 year old daughter.
it started at the begining of the school year and now yesterday the b*tch pulled my kids hair so hard she felt it an hour later.
two teachers know of the situation and have told my kid to just ignore it.
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lilacia
I agree with many of the posts! Document and record and write letters to the Principal with details about what your daughter has told you was said in the meeting with the first Principal. Don't threaten to send the letter that documents the details, do it. Send it to the Superintendent of the school district AND demand a meeting with Principal, Assistant and another adult, preferably the Socail worker AND a friend of yours as well that you trust. That way, all noted detials of the meeting are kept to the truth. Plus, request as a result of your initial meeting, a second meeting within the same week with the parents of this other student with the same adults present. Document and record if you can, the meeting on video. Walk in with the cam and let them know you intend to record the proceedings and if they have a problem with it, then they can send off the news and media cams later if they wish as well! Don't take it lightly, the zero tolerance laws are there to protect all who are involved, so it actually works for the best for the victims and the bully, in cases where kids may lie and accuse a "bully" just to stir up trouble. Even in the case where there is a true "bully", they can possibly get help BEFORE a more serious incident occurs. I would also call the police if the school does not accomodate your needs immediatly. If you don't feel it will do much, go ahead and call the police immediatly then.
You mentioned your daughter had been homeschooled. I am both an educator by degree, taught for nearly ten years in both Elementary Edu classrooms as well as Special Ed. Then I made the choice to homeschool my own children due to a long list of reasons. Be strong, you are the voice for your child. She will remember what you have done for her and you also set an example. Wish you the best, keep us informed.
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The Unforgiven
by Truth2Me inthis metallica song really speaks to me....sometimes it seems like the band must have studied what it's like to be disfellowshipped....they could have called the title "the disfellowshipped.
" been really struggling lately...wanted to share this, maybe some of you can relate..... unforgiven.
that old man here is me.
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lilacia
Truth2Me, I just wanted to add this. Our life lessons end with our ability to realize how our choices effected our life. The lesson ends there. I believe this to a certain extent, that which does not involve taking a life or injuring a life, either child or adult. The JW way of life instills a great deal of guilt, even if you question a teaching. I am speaking of life lessons in terms of relationships and so forth. Most of us can relate to wrong choices in a lover or partner or mate. We can also relate to to the hindsite theory, if we can look back and say we would do it "differently" we sometimes would. Years later, some of us come to find that it was best to end the friendship or relationship at that point. My point is, you can move on. You have the power to put your feelings at the curb after dealing with them, and walking on. Only narrow minded people harbor mistruth and anger related to such. You cannot take on both your feelings and then also pick up the bags of judgement that others will place at your feet. Come to terms with what your heart is speaking to you, and find comfort in having it placed in the past in your life. In many cases, it is up to ourselves to take onto our shoulders the "bags of garbage" others put at our curb to pick up. If you have dealt with your issues, don't pick up other bags of garbage. Those bags belong to the ppl who left them. Call them and tell them to come pick up what is past due.
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lilacia
Thank you so much! Very beautiful...you handed a bouquet to every lady here with that and it should be applauded! *grin* The composition of each frame was precious.
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11
The Unforgiven
by Truth2Me inthis metallica song really speaks to me....sometimes it seems like the band must have studied what it's like to be disfellowshipped....they could have called the title "the disfellowshipped.
" been really struggling lately...wanted to share this, maybe some of you can relate..... unforgiven.
that old man here is me.
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lilacia
Interesting! Thanks for sharing. It is one of my fav songs, but I never quite placed the lyrics in that context. I am sorry to hear how you are struggling. I can only offer empathy and tell you that you are strong for making choices in your life now that are based on your own heart and a clear mind. If it helps to share, keep writing. *hug*
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What are some books to read
by lilacia ini apologize because i know there must be information on the board in a thread somewhere, but i read.
in another post about a book called the crisis of conscience that was a suggested read.
any other suggestions?
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lilacia
Thank you everyone for sharing. I appreciate the suggestions and thoughts, comments to follow after readings I am sure. One thought, I have come to be made aware of. The "truth" has somehow led some of us to an actual knowlege of the truth that resides in our spirit. We are free from the burdons of belief, free from thinking that we are "hurting Jehovah" if we ask questions and set a path true to our hearts. This path does not always lead to "sin", but to a freedom to love a creator or God in which we find truthful or be set free to explore what truths we really do find important in relation to improving our lives or at the very least, making it meaningful. It is no longer about the hours spent sharing the "good news" or making sure the right face is seen at each meeting, it is now spent on discovering our own truth.
I amnot suggesting that beliefs are burdons, but in the world that surrounds the life of a JW, it can be at times. Supression of questions or asking for advice, can many times lead to a meeting with the elders or a visit from "well meaning" friends.
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14
Most commun cars in your congregation
by JH inin your former congregation, what models of cars were the most commun?.
in my congregation, there was a time in the late 80's, that just about everybody had a dodge aries.
it seemed to be an inexpensive decent size car for the service, then a few years later, many had volkswagen jettas, a little more expensive.... i was the type to get a red, 2 door car.
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lilacia
Actually, I recall most the the elders and their familes in my cong growing up, had expensive cars. They always wore the best suits, the wives wore the best clothes and all the make-up was perfect and you could smell them coming with their perfume. Mercedes, BMW, Audi, so forth. They also had great houses, more times that I know, we were invited to these houses and I would just sit in the living room (knowing it was actually the *show* room not the actual living in room) and imagine it being my house. The staircases would wind up to the second floor. In our KH two congs shared the building, one was affluent and one was more middle class. My best friend, who lived only a few miles away, went to the other cong, so we would leave eachother "secret" notes in the ladies bathroom in some of the cabinets. Neither one of us were ever baptized, despite being "raised" with the beliefs.
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24
What are some books to read
by lilacia ini apologize because i know there must be information on the board in a thread somewhere, but i read.
in another post about a book called the crisis of conscience that was a suggested read.
any other suggestions?
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lilacia
Sorry about that :/ I just went *blah* and spouted all my feelings and I forgot about my presentation. Thank you all again for your suggestions. I have another question to those that were long term JW. Knowing how hard it is to present JW with an alternative belief, what made you open a book that *gasp* had apostate views? I was never baptized, but I do know how it is pounded into the mind of a JW to NOT open, read or listen to anything offering an individuals freedom of mind. I have long since thought my sis and her husband will never allow themselves to see spirituality in a different light, then I read the history of some of the fellow posters and am so relieved that there still is a chance for them.
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24
What are some books to read
by lilacia ini apologize because i know there must be information on the board in a thread somewhere, but i read.
in another post about a book called the crisis of conscience that was a suggested read.
any other suggestions?
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lilacia
Thank you all for your suggestions! I was never baptized, but raised as a JW until I was about 16 and then I had a conversation with my Dad about my future goals (college, freedom to choose my own beliefs). I had also shared with him that I had followed all his guidelines and had been raised without holidays and had grown up without having any special, childhood memories, no birthdays, no Christmas family togetherness. I did not feel ready at any time, to become baptized. Of course, he had been spoken to by the elders repeatedly, for my lack of moving forward. My folks and sister were all baptized. My mom eventually was DF for smoking. My sis therefore cut all ties with her. My Dad remarried a woman who was not a JW so then he faced DF but he, for reasons known to him, met with the elders and has long since gone to meetings and service and so forth. I am sure the fact that my sister would have cut ties with him too, at first, forced him to make a choice to make sure he did not give her a reason to stop talking to him. My sis and brother in law do have contact with me and have a good relationship with my children. My sis did not have children of her own becuase she did not want children in "this system". I do not discuss anything related to JW with her or my Dad, although he recently sent me a book "Learning From the Great teacher" for my kids or for me to read to them. I do not shoulder any responsibility to attempt to make them see any truth but the one they live their lives by. They are EXPERTS in countering anything anyone brings up. Those of who who are or were JW know that hours are spent in dealing with counter arguments and how to answer questions and biblical verse and so forth. Anytime in the past when I have asked a question, to attempt to get her to think in a different pattern, she used the older sister to younger sister approach and would say "I am not doing this with you". As far as my own feelings, I just NOW, over 15 years later, feel ready to explore my spirituality. Thnak you all for your reading suggestions and for your welcome.
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24
What are some books to read
by lilacia ini apologize because i know there must be information on the board in a thread somewhere, but i read.
in another post about a book called the crisis of conscience that was a suggested read.
any other suggestions?
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lilacia
I apologize because I know there must be information on the board in a thread somewhere, but I read
in another post about a book called the Crisis of Conscience that was a suggested read. Any other suggestions?