for all those who have recently escaped this evil cult i just want to send a message of hope.. i have just had my landlord around.
one of the first things the landlord said to me.
"in just a year i see such a big positive difference in you" .
Amen! My wife and I have clients comment on how much happier we are. Several have said that they notice a positive difference in us. It has only been a month or two since we officially DA'ed, but we started leaving a year or so ago without knowing it.
Thanks for sharing. Good for you!
a single sister in her 40s and her two single daughters were visiting my mom.
i would say her daughters are in their early 20s.
my mom got sleepy and we put her to bed but the three sisters stayed to finish their drinks..
Sabin: The Borg never talks about the person being kind/honest/loving etc it's all about the show of things that they do in the cong. It's so sad.
This is so true. They focus on all of these performance issues in the organization and "spiritual" qualities. What about things like premarital counseling, where someone more experienced really talks to a young couple about things like children, finances, conflict resolution, etc., you know, the things that real people actually deal with in a marriage. It's hard to talk about things like sex or what one's proclivities might be (or be thought to be since no real experience often exists) with a chaperone hanging around your every move. Witnesses have so many things against them when going into a marriage. My wife and I are soooooo fortunate that we survived together. Our attitude of perseverance and being willing to challenge ourselves to grow and my need to cut through drama and to be honest really helped us to stay the course and work through things. The cult gave us NOTHING to help us. It has survived and prospered despite them, not because of them.
my husband was recently subjected to an intervention by his parents.
i am apparently a danger to his spirituality.
after i stopped attending meetings and went apostate hubby decided to resign as a ms to spend more time with me.
someone named john free popped in on one of my posts at exmormon[dot]com and mentioned this website.
i have a lot of questions.
i never knew much about about the jw church.
i've been df'd for about six weeks now.no one has broken the obligation to "honor the disfellowshipping decree".that's the way notorious co paul kohler describes the "loving arrangement" that is jw shunning.
( just "serving" napa ).
so, my wife's family has been "loving me" ( barf ) when out of nowhere, one of them sends home homemade soup for me.... well, i got super pissed.
Somebody sent soup. Eat it, or don't, but don't read into it. That's one of the tough things about shunning, it leaves everything to the imagination. You said that your rage was at an all time high. You might want to go see a therapist to help you process some of your feelings. This amount of rage over soup that was most likely a nice gesture is more likely the result of the emotions that have built up inside of you with no release. Go find someone to talk to that will help you release them by working through them. Rage is often just a mask for profound hurt that lies underneath. I spent many years of my life in rage and I finally realized that I had a tremendous amount of pain inside me. I started delving into that pain and let myself feel the sadness and disappointment and once I got it out the rage subsided. I found books like "Healing The Shame That Binds" to be great, along with many others on emotional abuse and other subjects.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joehewofiba.
is this supposed to placate the ones who have been recently fired?
is this a sign of the aging jw leadership?
today's watchtower:.
obey us, obey us even when it seems strange, obeying our man made hierarchy equates to obeying god, sacrifice your own interests, work for us, don't be independent, put your own interests aside, obey some more, preach for us, build for us, enjoy it, obey some more, forgive when we are jerks to you and mistreat you, accept your changed assignment even if it seems cruel and doesn't make sense, don't complain if we move you (eg.
) because you might have to move in the new world, remember you are being trained to obey, remember to put your own interests aside, that's the way we are designed to live - it will only make you happy!
how many of us were woken up by some apostate yelling false prophets at a convention?.
how many of us were woken up by someone holding a sign and yelling, what happened to 1975.
how many of us were coerced to investigate the wt because some ex-jw pulled up a bunch of old watchtowers magazines and told us to read the false predictions?.
I don't think it gives us ideas on how to help people wake up, but instead if it is up to us to wake up on our own like I did and many others, it shows that we can't help more often than not. It has to be time for most people go make any change in life. They have to individually get to those circumstances. For me, it took years to be ready as the cult held me down for so long I had to get healthy in many ways to even see how unhealthy the cult was. Had people tried to get me to leave earlier I would have just dug my heels in deeper and it would have delayed my freedom. Life and time have a way of taking us down a path to escape if we're open minded. You can't force that.
The thing that helped me was to get new perspectives on things through books on non-religious subjects. Lots of self-help and psychological books really helped. I didn't know what I didn't know.
i made a medium level mistake at work today, and when i make mistakes it really shakes me up and takes me a long time to recover.
it completely rattles me, makes me feel awful about myself.
my mind keeps going back to the mistake reliving how i could have let it happen.
*raises hand*
My name is Mike, and I'm a perfectionist. I happen to have many years in recovery though. It is certainly something that exists within the population in general, and it is thought that there's a genetic component in some cases. With that said, how could we not be? If we are conscientious people raised in a cult that preached perfection, devoid of any allowance for the human condition, we didn't stand a chance. I almost committed suicide because I couldn't meet the standards set before me through the cult. I'm glad to have now found happiness instead of the pursuit of perfection.
I highly recommend the book "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar for my fellow sufferers. It was instrumental in a turning point for me.
thank you all for your sincere encouragement during these last few weeks.
finally, she is at peace.
i was with her , holding her hand when she died.
