Posts by dubstepped

78

My experience of christians and religion

by Doltologist in

one or two of you have noticed that i use derogatory terms when talking about matters religion.

i offer no apology.

you do, however, deserve an explanation.. my father, bless him and now dead, was a survivor of belsen, the german concentration camp.

dubstepped

I'll admit to not having read all of this thread. I read a page or two, which is more than I usually read from the Dolt. I was once talking with someone and they told me that I needed to change from an attitude of "this needs to be said" to one of "this needs to be received". Dolt, if you actually want to reach anyone, drop the Christards and religtards or whatever sophomoric names you want to call people that are different from you. If you just want to talk to people that think just like you, then you don't need to take anyone else into consideration and you can keep beating your drum for only those that can hear it to hear. You'll never change anyone or anything because you'll shut people down before they ever give you a chance. I see you as a smart guy, and I read this one post of yours because I wanted to know your story. Thanks for sharing it. I can see that you've been hurt by religion. I see why you hate it so much. Of course, you choose to only focus on the hurt that religion has perpetrated on the human race, but there is also much good done in the name of religion. I know you don't want to hear that, but it is true, and you're certainly intelligent enough to be able to grasp both sides and find some balance.

Do you want to say what you want to say and leave it at that? Or, do you want to be heard by people and actually make some sort of difference? If you don't want to speak to people that are different in a way in which they can hear, you're not accomplishing anything, which certainly doesn't seem very logical. Why waste your time?

9

PERFECTION (ISM) leaves no trace of YOU

by TerryWalstrom in

jw
friends

the problem of perfection(ism).

the best piece of advice i got was from my art teacher, aubrey mayhew.he told me, "art isn't about 'getting it right.

' it's about your mistaken views which you give yourself permission to explore.".

dubstepped

Nice post. Perfectionism is all about ego. Appearance over substance. Being right often at the expense of being happy. It is cold and unfeeling. Been there, done that, got the wasted years and ruined relationships and scars to prove it. As I shed more and more of the ego and perfectionism, I actually found who I am at my core. I like that person much more than the judgemental ego I had become.

11

Interview with an Apostate: Muddy Waters

by Muddy Waters in

were you a born in or a convert?.

i began studying with a pioneer sister when i was 20 years old, my life had just gone to total sh*t (my husband had recently left me, was all alone with our young babies, and was very depressed).

"the truth" sounded so wonderful, the jws were so helpful, kind and supportive.

dubstepped

the District Conventions started to bother me. I realize they need to speak more slowly because of the large space and loud-speaker feedback, but after awhile, the brothers sounded so phoney and insincere. "Brothers and Sisters, are we not happy to be blessed with such a spiritual paradise? Where else can we find such living waters of truth…? Do you not agree that we have the best education in the world? Are we not taught by Jehovah himself through his organization today?" (insert grand gestures from the platform, as the speaker holds out his arms in a welcoming gesture and waits for applause…) It made me feel like that Pharisee who prayed how thankful he was to not be like the sinners around him…

It was so nice to see someone else point this out. It has bothered me since I was a little kid. Nobody talks like that! The same goes for the way that publications were worded. It was overly dramatic and out of touch. How are people supposed to connect to such robotic deliveries of words? I always felt like a freak because I couldn't connect with the way that the organization in its many facets would express itself. I would see others that were feeling it, but finally came to realize that's because most romanticize the whole thing. It is fantasy and they're buying into it as such. Much like a lady reading a romance novel and thinking that some guy with rippling muscles is going to whisk her away to a deserted island for romance and lovemaking while fulfilling every physical and emotional need she could ever have. That's not real. Real life is bills and stress and schedules and trying to fit in romance and relationships within the context of life's circumstances. The organization spoke in hyperbole and with drama and fantasy at the fore, neglecting how life really is in favor of keeping up appearances.

But then, when we rehearsed it at the Assembly Hall, the DO changed it all. The experience ended up being nothing like mine or what I had gone through. He said he wanted to do it that way because it would help "more" people in the circuit, based on various needs of the circuit. So it was like a "conglomerate experience" which would apply to more people and thus have larger impact and benefit. I actually went along with it, though on the stage, I felt like such a LIAR. There I was, just acting out a part, and it didn't even apply to my situation anymore.

Ah, you too. I was on district conventions and circuit assemblies and remember being interviewed. If my story or my goals weren't high enough, they would press me to up the ante. Gotta make that story fit the fantasy. We can't deal in actual truth up there on the platform. Everything has to always work out and in the end the goal has to be the highest possible. Nobody ever says that their goal is to eventually get married and start a family and settle down. They want to pioneer and serve at Bethel and become a traveling overseer or missionary. The brother giving one of the parts and the overseer at the time made it clear that my goals weren't high enough at rehearsal. My wife met up with similar fate. In her case, however, it wasn't that anyone said anything, the pressure was just there. The young sister up there with her wanted to go to Bethel. That was taken, and my wife had to have something to say, so she went with Gilead as her goal. Pioneer isn't enough, and to just be a wife and/or mother would be downright shameful.

Thanks for sharing your story. I identified with a lot of it and really feel your pain and disappointment. You seem to have a pretty good attitude about it all. Best wishes on your future!

24

I was 'witnessed(tm)' to

by punkofnice in

i was walking to town and i was approached by a smart young man.

"can i interest you in this," he said and handed me a small card with jw.org printed on it.. "oh, blimey," i said.

"i'm an athiest.

dubstepped

Well, if it has been prophesied, there's no use fighting it anymore then is there? Cake for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and of course, dessert. Thanks punk, if that's not light getting brighter I don't know what is.

24

I was 'witnessed(tm)' to

by punkofnice in

i was walking to town and i was approached by a smart young man.

"can i interest you in this," he said and handed me a small card with jw.org printed on it.. "oh, blimey," i said.

"i'm an athiest.

dubstepped

dubstepped - I just got some Apple Bakewells and a cup of tea. It's a Brit thing. I hope you can have your cake and eat it.

I ended up having cake of the pan variety. Blueberry pancakes with lemonade cream from the local IHOP. Not sure that there is one in your country, but it is an international restaurant as the name suggests. ;)

I blame you for the death of my diet. And I know that you don't believe in God, but that's because you've probably never eaten at IHOP.

24

I was 'witnessed(tm)' to

by punkofnice in

i was walking to town and i was approached by a smart young man.

"can i interest you in this," he said and handed me a small card with jw.org printed on it.. "oh, blimey," i said.

"i'm an athiest.

dubstepped

I should downvote you just for putting cake in my head. Dammit! Haha, nice story though, even if we don't believe the same on all things. Like you said, no use in arguing. Not long ago I was programmed with responses that allowed me to shut down about any argument without ever having to think. I'm not saying "shut down" as in "I had answers", just "shut down" as in I had things to say that made me feel secure because I was told I was right if I said them.

Crap, now I need to go find a bakery.

75

What was your eye opening moment?

by WasOnceBlind in

if you had to pinpoint the time or experience that finally made you open your eyes, what would it be?.

i think for me it was the time i saw my dad shun his brother who he had not seen in decades just because he was a da'ed jw.

i thought to my self "no way jesus would do that.

dubstepped

When I was trying to get out of massive debt and everyone told me that it wasn't possible and that Jehovah couldn't bless me if I wasn't going to meetings or out in service anymore. I was blessed in ways too many to relate here shortly and knocked out tens of thousands in debt in a year and a half. Then brothers and sisters tried to negate out experience because it didn't fit into their worldview. All the while we listened to Dave Ramsey and heard story after story mirroring the timely blessings that we received even though I was taught that only JWs could be blessed. I liked Dave's take on Jehovah being a loving father and questioned why any loving father would destroy his kids because they looked for him in what I was taught was the wrong place. Didn't add up to me. That started me questioning more and more of what I was led to believe.

35

My Story of Waking Up - in retrospect

by cappytan in

so, many of y'all know bits and pieces of my story of waking up, but i thought it might be nice to have it all in one place.. i was baptized at 11, auxiliary pioneered every summer, regular pioneer at 17, ministerial servant by 19, then went to bethel for a year.. i always had minor doubts from time to time, but nothing serious.

always dismissed doubts and decided to "just have faith.".

after leaving bethel, i was never really firing on all cylinders "spiritually speaking.

dubstepped

Thanks for sharing your story. I think I finally spoke up here around the same time that you did. It is interesting to see the different paths that people take and what it is that finally makes them wake up. I read your experience to my wife and she thought it was interesting that the people are the most sincere (like you were) in the organization are often those that wake up because they will do the research to verify what they're teaching others. The organization needs those sincere people that care, but truly caring and not just following blindly will cause one's eyes to be opened. It is the opposite side of the uber dub card for many. Best wishes on your journey to find what you're looking for.

30

Just Want To Be Heard

by dubstepped in

i've been lurking here for a while now, and i guess you could call me a fader.

i don't have hate in my heart for the organization that i spent most of my life in, but i have had an awakening.

luckily, so has my wife, and that way i don't feel so alone.

dubstepped

Hi Tornintwo (great name that really hits the heart of the matter).

Thanks for the kind words. I'm a lot like you too in the way that I see the organization. The process of wading through everything doesn't have to be an either/or proposition. That black and white thinking is what the organization teaches, true or false religion, with nothing in between. I see the organization much like Israel in the Bible, a mess. Some good intentions, some bad, some just mindless robots following their chosen leaders. Some truth, some manipulations, some lies, and everything in between. Ultimately it is up to me to make sure of the more important things, to use my powers of reason, to make the truth my own, and so on. It isn't up to a few guys in New York that vote on beliefs to determine how I think, how I feel, and how I go forth in life.

My parents once made fun of my uncle for saying "my truth may not be your truth" because truth is an all or nothing proposition to them. If life has taught me anything it is that things can work out with similar results even when done in totally different ways. There truly are different roads leading to the same destination whether it is how you drive your car to the zoo or how you paint a room or how you design your garden, or even how you have a relationship with God. Why would we all think that our relationship with Jehovah has to follow a prescribed course of feelings and actions? Two people can be friends with the same person in totally different ways. Parents often love their kids but have totally different relationships with them. Everything in the organization is expected to be one way. They leave little wiggle room. Sure, you can find some truly kind and compassionate articles in magazines, but often the one right before or after it on the same subject has a very rigid and uncaring attitude. They can't even get cohesion in their own message, so don't think for a minute that there's only one way to do this.

Best wishes to you on your journey as well. :)

32

The Religion Of Rejection - And Now That Includes Me

by dubstepped in

due to some recent developments i find myself in a new place, and at this point i've lost all of my family and fri....oh that's right, i never really had any friends in the organization anyway.

just people that wanted something from me and a few people that i would invite to do things that occasionally said yes.

the recent rejections of me got me thinking, so let's take a rejection inventory.. i had to reject all of the holidays when my parents started studying.. i had to reject any worldly friends that i already had.. even family became rejected, and the new religion had some place in that.. i was rejected in school and bullied all of the time, not just because we were poor and i made good grades, but for jw reasons too.

dubstepped

On a more serious note, I've just reached out to an ex-JW counsellor, I feel a bit better already, realised that so many people around the world are feeling like me too and its going to take time to figure things out and heal... maybe counselling would help you too?

I tried going to a regular therapist earlier this year and it is very hard to find one that I can see around my crazy work schedule. They tend to keep 9-5 type hours around here. I also found that I knew more about lots of things than my therapist did, talking over her head from years of self study. It was a disappointing experience. I do believe that there would be a great therapist out there somewhere for me, but it comes down to money and time and how many I'd have to go through to find one that I could relate to. I'm also holding to some of my previous beliefs, trying to find what I can appreciate because few things in life are all good or all bad. I did learn some things that I still believe in, and I did have some good experiences. The bad seemed to outweigh the good at a point, but I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. It is a delicate balancing act to figure out where I actually stand now instead of where I was told to stand for all of those years.

Honestly, just coming to a place like this and being able to express myself and be validated by others makes a huge difference. I feel like a weight was lifted already just from this post. Can't keep that stuff bottled up inside. There has to be a pressure release valve somewhere, and this is a good place for that.