Flower, honey, maybe you can connect with some from this list in your area. There are so many of us now that being Df'd or DA'd isn't as isolating as it once was. You are not alone. Right now it just feels that way.
ARoarer
JoinedPosts by ARoarer
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very alone..
by flower ini know that people have been in the same boat as i am and have felt the same but i still feel very alone tonight.
and very depressed.
i dont think some people understand even here.
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Just an update for you all!!!
by HyTech inmy wife just called me at work to inform me the same 2 elders that paid us a visit the other night stopped by this morning ( while i wasn't home, of course!).
they said they wanted to talk to her about the way she felt about the organization.
she basically said the same things i did and they told her that there would be a letter of disassociation read at the next meeting.
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ARoarer
HyTech, Your wife is awesome. Elders don't like when women kick ass to their 'high and mighty eldership'. I applaud her!
Hey Mad what a great letter to hand to the elders when they pay a disassociation visit. Even though we are being shunned I would not be suprised to get one of those visits also. I am really suprised they have not already. Would you mind if I used some of the info in your letter just incase they decide to pay a visit? -
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Dateline airtime update added to website
by silentlambs ini have decided to add a weekly update to when the dateline story might air.
the latest info should go up each monday.
of course when i know for sure it will be posted there first.
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ARoarer
Belbab, good idea.
Bill, we got a call last week from the producer, who is working on some things that I hope goes into this show. He said he will be keeping us posted regarding the airtime. -
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how do you stop crying......
by flower inwhen you start reading rays book and find out that everything you know to be factual, the only constant, solid, truth in the universe is just nothing?
i've known this in my head since i started reading posts here on xmas day but i have never really believed it.
i thought i just wanted to believe it so that i could rid myself of some of this guilt i've always carried around.
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ARoarer
Dearest Flower, the pain, betrayal, and all the many emotions you are experiencing are feelings we all have felt here. Please know that what you are going through is a grieving process. You are suffering from loss. A loss of a beloved belief sytem that you trusted and lived by. Honor those feelings Flower, and allow yourself to feel them. It is something Watchtower discourages. Don't feel, just do. You are in the beginning stages of healing from being in a cult that controls your thoughts, opinions and every single decision you make in your life as a cult member. Your sadness will change. There are 5 stages of grieving losses. Shock, Sadness, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance. Shock is kind of in the denial stage, I can't believe this, Sadness and Anger, can be very hard, leaves you into self harming tendencies sometimes. This can include isolation and deep depression, numbing through alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, unsafe relationships, and ever thoughts of being better off dead. Fight this part of you grief, Flower, and find self soothing things to do. Bargaining is a stage that is also hard. It is the feeling of could have should have would have, why didn't I, If only...... Don't even go there. Soon Acceptance will come and emancipaton follows. In the meantime, find new things to bring you joy. Do things you never allowed yourself to do that you always wanted to try. For me it was horses, reading, and especially enjoying wonderful friendships with "worldly" people. There truly is goodness in people, and I have found that "worldly people" have the same concerns we all have, but are not judgemental. Most of all Flower, trust your inner instincts in the pit of your stomach. They don't lie if we really listen. We were long conditioned not to so this is something new. And God Bless you Flower. There is friendship, and support here, and yes sometimes anger and crude discussions but here you will be free to express your opinions without punishing consequences, and ostircizing. Welcome.
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I just recieved an e-mail about Dateline!
by WildHorses inlet's hope it's true.
the e-mail follows.............. hello everyone i've been told dateline will air the jw story on .
you should check your local listings to find out the time.
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ARoarer
Hi Lilac, the producer of Dateline called last week. They are still working on some things but it will be airing soon.
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Disassociating==shunning...yes or no???
by sadiejive ini have had several here tell me that if try to disassociate yourself from the org that you will be subject to shunning.
is this true?.
i discussed this issue with the witnesses with whom i study.
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ARoarer
Even if a person does not formerly disassociate the elders will see to it that the congregation does not associate with them by spreading thier "spin" on why they should not associeate with individuals who not longer choose to attend meetings. The gossip goes around amongst the elders, then their elderette wives via field service and "gatherings" and then via the pioneers gossiping in car groups out in service and in between duncan donut stops. Another good way to smear the reputation of one who no longer attends is through the children in the congregations. The parents discuss during family bibile studies and at meal times, why so-and-so who is no longer at the meetings, and that they are no longer to associate with so-and-so's kids because they are bad association. I actually got a letter from a long time friend who told us that we were worthy of the same judgement as Korah in the Bible for not staying in the congregation, that "we can't put unfaithful ones to death anymore because it is against the law, so we just view them as dead. That person informed us that their child would still associate with our child only if they could pick her up and bring her to the kingdom hall with other upbuilding association. I said no thanks, my child would not be brought to a place where hatred and intolerance of her parents would be taught. My advice is to set this elder straight through his own literature and then, run for your life. You may also want to visit this address regading WT literature preaching the same intolerance as a dangerous cult. http://.intrex.net/tallyman/WT_Evil.html The information that appears in these Watchtower publications are very telling of what this religion uses as thought control through fear of abandonment of God, the congregation, and condemnation to bloody destruction. Kind of like Bin Ladens point of view.
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Longo
by oneidanp inpolice in waterloo, iowa have confirmed that longo was in waterloo a few days ago.
his suv was seen several places, including hwy.
380 between waterloo and cedar rapids.
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ARoarer
He's probably taking refuge in some congregation somewhere. The elders won't turn him in if he is "repentent" and there are not 2 witnesses to the crime. They will harbor him under thier "ecclesiastical privlege".
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? 12/01/01 wt now allow JW to pray for DF
by nowaytess ini got a post on my club telling me in the wt 12/01/01 from "question from the readers," saying it is ok for a jws ot pray for df or da.. from what i was told, the gb has given the green light to pray for a disfellowshipped in private prayer, but not in a public or congregational setting.
i also heard it was just a relitive or family memeber who is df or da.. this is not only "new light.
" but a radical change in wt policy toward the df.
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ARoarer
Nowaytess, I agree with you, that is why I asked the CO regarding my friend and it was the 1976 Question to the Readers that answered the same "light" as stated in the latest WT article you mentioned.
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? 12/01/01 wt now allow JW to pray for DF
by nowaytess ini got a post on my club telling me in the wt 12/01/01 from "question from the readers," saying it is ok for a jws ot pray for df or da.. from what i was told, the gb has given the green light to pray for a disfellowshipped in private prayer, but not in a public or congregational setting.
i also heard it was just a relitive or family memeber who is df or da.. this is not only "new light.
" but a radical change in wt policy toward the df.
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ARoarer
I don't believe this is "new light", just very old light that has been forgotten about. I remember this issue came up for me over a disfellowshipped friend who had started coming back to meetings back in the early 90's. I asked the CO if I could pray for her because some witnesses told me it was not allowed. The CO directed me to the 1976 WT Question fromt he readers. I forget what month it was but basically it said you Can pray for disfellowshipped people in private prayers but not publicly from the platform.
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What're the new spins going to be?
by ashitaka ini was talking with my wife and surmised that in ten years, there would be 'revision' in thought about blood, and that they would allow transfusions, (a conscience matter), but still forbid the eating of blood.. as to disfellowshipping, when it all hits the fan in the media, there may be a change, some time in the future regarding it.
perhaps they will say to only 'spiritually' disfellowship the person, but not encourage the total shunning of them.. do those two hold any merit?
what other things may change at the wtbts?
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ARoarer
Hi Cornerstone, I used to think it was important to the R&F to believe in the Credibility of the Watchtower. But after my experience with them regarding the issue of Pedophilia and other WT coverups especially the UN issue, most R&F can't be bothered to research whether or not the Watchtower is Credible or not. They just want to believe it is the "truth" no matter what. The Watchtower can spin out any excuse to justify it's questionable actions and then blame "apostates" for making a big deal out of it and most R&F blindly agree and forget about it. If Credibility were the main concern of R&F they would have all left by now.