exjdub

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Posts by exjdub

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  32

  A Question Of Manners.

  by Englishman in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm looking for some feedback here.

  hl and i like to socialise sometimes, and this often results in us hosting small parties for a few friends.. often our friends reciprocate, and then we enjoy being guests instead of being hosts.. but we keep encountering a dilemma.

  one set of friends like us to visit them for afternoon bbq's or sometimes for evening dinner parties.. now, no problem with dinner parties, but if say we go to a bbq at around 4.30, they expect us to remain with them for the entire evening right through until around 11 pm or midnight, the same time as we'd stay to if we went to a late dinner party.. personally, i've had enough at about 9 pm, that's 5 hours, so we like to leave and have a pint or two in the pub on the way home.. now this makes them quite angry and they say that we're being anti-social because we are off to the pub instead of spending the whole evening with them.. i maintain that if you go to tea or a bbq in the late afternoon, then it's quite acceptable to depart earlier than if you went to a late dinner party.. what do you think?.

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  exjdub

  I'm always very firm about it, because if I stay longer than I want to, I just won't want to come next time.

  Amen to that myauntfanny!
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  Talesin...Where Are The Road Stories??

  by exjdub in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  talesin,.

  you promised more road stories and, unless i have missed them, i have not seen any.. exjdub

• 

  exjdub

  Talesin,

  You promised more road stories and, unless I have missed them, I have not seen any. C'mon and get writing Tal! Good storytellers are hard to come by.

  exjdub
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  69

  Newbies to screwbies, At what stag of recovery are you?

  by jst2laws in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  at what stage of recovery are you?

  are you angry?

  are you depressed?

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  exjdub

  I wonder what kind of life the GB would end up living if they were kicked out in the cold with no help or support from former friends.

  Gumby,

  What comes to mind is Mr. Burns, from the Simpsons, without Smithers to tend to his every need.

  exjdub
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  32

  A Question Of Manners.

  by Englishman in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i'm looking for some feedback here.

  hl and i like to socialise sometimes, and this often results in us hosting small parties for a few friends.. often our friends reciprocate, and then we enjoy being guests instead of being hosts.. but we keep encountering a dilemma.

  one set of friends like us to visit them for afternoon bbq's or sometimes for evening dinner parties.. now, no problem with dinner parties, but if say we go to a bbq at around 4.30, they expect us to remain with them for the entire evening right through until around 11 pm or midnight, the same time as we'd stay to if we went to a late dinner party.. personally, i've had enough at about 9 pm, that's 5 hours, so we like to leave and have a pint or two in the pub on the way home.. now this makes them quite angry and they say that we're being anti-social because we are off to the pub instead of spending the whole evening with them.. i maintain that if you go to tea or a bbq in the late afternoon, then it's quite acceptable to depart earlier than if you went to a late dinner party.. what do you think?.

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  exjdub

  Englishman,

  I agree, 5 hours is plenty of time spent. It may sound odd, but when I spend that amount of time with friends, I generally need a little time with just my wife to "unwind" a little bit, so stopping off at a pub to unwind sounds perfectly acceptable, and understandable, to me.

  exjdub
• 
  7

  Lovable Me was baned until 2011!

  by XQsThaiPoes in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  .

  http://e-watchman.com/discussion/index.php?s=6c5ddbd3bfb526fc0b5ae4b53a0bf996&showtopic=163

  thanks e-watchman you guys are so much better than my watchtower... oh wait they try to meet with you before they kick you out!

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  exjdub

  XQ,

  I read the thread on e-watchman. What did you expect to happen?????
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  25

  Need Input on DF committee hearings, please

  by robhic in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i would like to ask, specifically, the ladies here who have been subjected to a jc hearing, preferrably for fairly serious reasons, to write a quick summary of the humiliation, etc.

  that went on during this process.

  anybody who has participated in a jc hearing is welcome to add.

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  exjdub

  Robert,

  I realize that you are looking for woman to comment specifically, but I have been in front of a JC when I was younger. Tell her to be prepared to reveal very private matters in graphic detail so that the elders can determine how serious the "wrongdoing" was/is. There are questions about specific acts, how often, orgasm, etc. etc. It can be quite uncomfortable. I don't think it is ANYONE'S business, most certainly not the elders, especially when many of them have their own skeletons in the closet.

  Good Luck,

  exjdub
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  45

  How Does It Feel Knowing That You Were Once A Member Of A Cult???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does it bother you?

  the more i think about it---the angrier i get.

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  exjdub

  Minimus,

  It feels GREAT!! Now, if I only could get rid of the annoying twitches and tics whenever I think about it I would be all set...

  exjdub
• 
  69

  Newbies to screwbies, At what stag of recovery are you?

  by jst2laws in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  at what stage of recovery are you?

  are you angry?

  are you depressed?

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  exjdub

  Thank you for contributing your experience.

  Jst2laws,

  Thank you for opening the topic. This forum was not available when I left the Org, but it sure would have helped me through some of the recovery to know that there were others that had spent many years in the Org and came out the other side doing well. I think it would have taken less time for recovery had I known.

  The biggest lie that the Organization spreads is that everyone who leaves the "Spiritual Paradise" of the WTBS either "returns to the vomit" of the "World" or crumples into a bundle of failed hopes and dreams and are failures at life. Oh...and also that they are going to suffer the most gruesome death if they leave the "safety" of the Org. The real failures in life are the ones that load good and kind people, that have enough of life's burdens already, with greater loads by instilling in them that they aren't good enough and they aren't doing enough. The ones that load the good people up are called Governing Body,elders, CO's and DO's Pharisees...and they are alive and well and in numerous supply in the WTBS.

  Anyone that reads this: Don't waste another day of your life thinking that you are not good enough, or that you don't do enough. I felt that way for 36 years because of the WTBS and it is not a burden I carry any more.

  exjdub
• 
  7

  Lovable Me was baned until 2011!

  by XQsThaiPoes in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  .

  http://e-watchman.com/discussion/index.php?s=6c5ddbd3bfb526fc0b5ae4b53a0bf996&showtopic=163

  thanks e-watchman you guys are so much better than my watchtower... oh wait they try to meet with you before they kick you out!

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  exjdub

  ??
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  69

  Newbies to screwbies, At what stag of recovery are you?

  by jst2laws in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  at what stage of recovery are you?

  are you angry?

  are you depressed?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  exjdub

  Jst2,

  What a great question.. and your statement that this is "to assure you that what you are experiencing is normal" is so true. It is normal, and I went through most of the stages you mention in one form or another. The one I remember the most is anger. The first stage was definitely anger. Anger at being duped, anger at the way I was treated for 36 years, angry especially at the way I was treated at the time I left. My anger was so intense that it consumed me. One of the things that helped my anger: I started working with a non-profit organization that worked with mentally handicapped people to secure jobs. After a while, after seeing people function with so many obstacles, I began to realize that my problems, although traumatic to me, were small compared to the people I was working with. I felt a bit selfish indulging my feelings after a while. But I have to say that it took about a year after I left the Org before I felt that way.

  I also went through depression. I had mixed emotions because, on the one hand I knew that it couldn't be the "Truth" because of the way I was treated and because of the lack of love...I knew the Org did not have the identifyng mark of love, but on the other hand, I had 36 years of indoctrination that told me that there was only one place to go and I was going to lose my life. Very confusing. I finally worked it out by realizing at the time that if I believed in Jehovah, and if I believed he could read hearts, then he could not possibly decide to kill me because he could read my heart and know that it was crushed and broken. (I am not sure how I feel about that anymore, but that is a discussion for another thread). What was important was to realize that I was not the bad person...They (WTBS) were the bad ones and they will have to answer for what they did to me and my family.

  I never did seek another religion. I had a bad taste in my mouth and realized that, at least for me, organized religion was full of hypocrisy and corruption and I wanted no part of it. I still feel that way. One of the things that resulted in escaping the Org is that I will never let anyone have that type of control or power over me again.

  After a few years the pain faded and I pursued life and began to enjoy my surroundings, which is something I could never do when I was in the Org because I was always sacrificing the life "in this system of things" for the "new system". MS responsibilities, meetings, service, personal study, etc.

  I am very content now and would not have my life any other way. I am involved with my neighbors, people honk their horns and wave when they drive by. I help the older ones in my neighborhood and make sure that I contribute to my community. I am a much kinder and gentler person than I ever was in the Org and I genuinely enjoy people. I do not have the haunting feelings of wondering whether the WTS "has it right" because I know from my knowledge of the scriptures that they can't possibly have it right. A good tree cannot produce rotten fruit... and all I ever saw in my 36 years in the Org was a lot of rotten fruitage.

  The important thing to remember is that life is a journey and you will always have bumps and bruises from mistreatment and bad things that happen. Be proud that you survived it. Realize that for every feeling of pain and anger, for every bump and bruise, you have learned much. I know I have! Peace.

  exjdub