Posts by prgirl79

33

Can anyone help me? Loved one being torn away

by heart broken in

jw
friends

i am not going to divulge any names or contact details as i do not what this being taken much further.. i will cut to the chase, i have fallen in love with a jehova's witness.

i am not a jehova's witness... can you see where this is going?

i have been told that her being in love with me is strictly against jw "policy"... now, i have been scowering the net for days now, becomming increasingly insomniate and i have to admit, i have found nothing to support this warning.

prgirl79

You are getting really good advice and i hope you listen. A lot of times we let our emotions get in the way you need to know you can't change things and you have to know when to let go. I was the non-jw with a disfellowshipped jw. There are a lot of former posts regarding this and it all says the same thing. I was with him for 5 years believe me your heart will be broken, you will have used a lot of energy and it is draining. The guilt that is put on them the rules. Having children with her would be even worse. I urge you to do your research on this cult. there are really good sites like www.freeminds.org wwww.jwfiles.com, and books one being Steve Hassan Combatting Cult Mind Control.

68

I need your help

by Veritas in

i need to know if it's ok for me to convert and become a jehovah's witness to be with the love of my life.

i need to know what you think about this idea.

if you agree with me converting, how would i do so.

prgirl79

well seems to me that you have made up your mind that oh i love her so much that no matter what we stay you will stay and most likely convert. Well hopefully it will work and if not can't say you were not warned! You will suffere the consequences. Hope you don't add children into the equation because then it will be worse, and you will have to take them with you to all those meetings and knocking on doors. You say you don't believe it then why would you go to meetings, give up all that for something you dont believe in. Seems like you love her hope she loves you and is willing to do anything for you. I would be surprised if she did because like all others said to them the WTS is the most important.

No matter what others tell you, You live and learn sometimes you have to experience it

Like country_woman- The best advice I read (except run for your life) was: Take this girl and leave together.

Don't listen to others, don't learn from mistakes that others did make, Do what you want: you have to pay for your mistakes.

68

I need your help

by Veritas in

i need to know if it's ok for me to convert and become a jehovah's witness to be with the love of my life.

i need to know what you think about this idea.

if you agree with me converting, how would i do so.

prgirl79

well all i can say is I wish you the best. I know you love her, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't move on, you are young can find someone else and really be happy. I know what you mean about hope. I held on to that hope for 5 years with my ex, until i realized I wasn't happy. This wasn't going to change, and I realized how much I was giving up. How one sided it is how much of a lifestyle it is. It is so draining! I grew resentful just like others mentioned. We all gave you our advice and what we have been through. Just keep that in mind, and realize what you would have to go through should you decide to stay the relationship would be with her and the WTS.

68

I need your help

by Veritas in

i need to know if it's ok for me to convert and become a jehovah's witness to be with the love of my life.

i need to know what you think about this idea.

if you agree with me converting, how would i do so.

prgirl79

I posted something similar to this nosferatu put my first posting here. You think no matter what that you love her and you are willing to do anything seems to me you don't want to listen to what we are saying. Seems like this is common (wish i knew that before ) for the past couple of weeks others have written about the same thing. You are getting good advise now!! You are young things change. Why would you want to join this cult if you are an atheist to be with her. If you join it will be a lifestyle If you don't she will be harrassed that you are not in the "truth" do you really want to deal with that. I thought the differences shouldn't be major but with JWs it is!!! You would have to keep up in the meetings you couldn't have two different lifestyles. My ex never went to birthdays holidays, funerals, weddings, and if you do how would that work! As Nosferatu said love does not conquer all. I got tired of no compromise because they won't give an inch and you will be resentful of all you did for something you say you don't believe in. I thought he knows how much i love him i am the only one who is there for him not like those jw's who shun him. You are probably thinking this all sounds negative. But we don't want others hurt by this if possible, and you are asking for advice we have been there so we know what we are telling you. You think it's different she is different well let me tell we have been there too, and in all the other posts it's not different! I can say for myself, and I am sure for others that it's better to leave now then go through the battle, struggle and heartache that we know is all that awaits you if you continue with her. You are fighting a losing battle with as one former person posted a "lunatic army and your one ally your girlfreind might turn on you tomorrow"

27

situation,Hello everyone

by vampmonk in

hey ladies and gentlemen, im vampmonk (obviously) and im new to this thing... i just wanted to ask for any advice possible.

i'm an athiest.

i apologise forehand if this offends any one, but such are the decisions we make in life, but back to my situation.

prgirl79

wow... i never thought it was this bad? can it really be as bad as you all say? YES!!!!!

now i know everyone has told me to keep my distance, but she is really special to me, aside from what anyone else thinks, she really is. she is not really as bad as you all might think-- I

don't think any of us thinks she is bad. My ex was special to me I was with him for 5 years i loved him. You say now no matter what you won't abide to their religion. Well be ready for a battle. I/we are not saying they are bad people. My ex's family were nice to me they had me over for dinners etc, but no matter what the watchtower is the most important thing. YOU ARE NOT! You can accept her but they dont accept anyone else. They don't associate with others they shun you if you disobey any of their rules. You sounded like me it should be able to work out faith or no faith. He is a good person. Well it gets to be draining it takes a lot of energy and you will be heartbroken. It is very hard see People in other religions have religiously mixed relationships and manage just fine. The problem with the Watchtower org. is that mixing with worldly people (especially apostates) is discouraged so strongly that those who do are considered spiritually weak

27

situation,Hello everyone

by vampmonk in

hey ladies and gentlemen, im vampmonk (obviously) and im new to this thing... i just wanted to ask for any advice possible.

i'm an athiest.

i apologise forehand if this offends any one, but such are the decisions we make in life, but back to my situation.

prgirl79

Concerned Mama,

Excellent Advise!! Vampmonk listen to her!!! It will be emotionally draining you are so young. You really don't need this baggage which is all it would be.

27

situation,Hello everyone

by vampmonk in

hey ladies and gentlemen, im vampmonk (obviously) and im new to this thing... i just wanted to ask for any advice possible.

i'm an athiest.

i apologise forehand if this offends any one, but such are the decisions we make in life, but back to my situation.

prgirl79

Hi Jared,

Seems like this keeps on happening wish i saw this years ago, but hey you live and learn. My advise plain and simple is run now!! There are other girls out there. I was with a ex jw for 5 years relationships like these rarely work. Instead of rambling on you should look at this thread which has my opinion/advise plus others and is actually opened right now in this same area http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/72972/1.ashx. I also recommend you do your research JW's are a cult.

You should look up information on cults i like this website as it talks specifically about jw's http://users.uniserve.com/~renford/persuade.htm#intro www.jwfiles.com. and many others If you like to read Steve Hassan combatting cult mind control is a good book.

13

advice please!

by blondy in

i could really use some advice.

i have never been a witness, but my boyfriend is(3rd generation).

his father is an elder, and his whole family is really into it.

prgirl79

Blondy,

I know it's hard, I know it hurts. I have been through this. Do you want to be with someone who feels they are doomed if they are with you? Do you celebrate holidays etc if so he won't be there for that. Do you want children raised this way?

I tried for 5 years to try and get my ex to move on, let me tell you it is hard and many times it doesn't work unless he is READY! You will be putting so much energy and waste your time in the process. You are fighting a battle by YOURSELF. Get out now don't wait the more you wait the worse it will be for you. It's not healthy for you to see him that way, and you can't help him meanhwile you feel torn as well. It is good that you asked this seems to happen all the time i felt like i was the only one. We are here if you need us. Please listen as many of us have been through this.

13

advice please!

by blondy in

i could really use some advice.

i have never been a witness, but my boyfriend is(3rd generation).

his father is an elder, and his whole family is really into it.

prgirl79

Wow I read what you wrote and my heart and stomach sank. I was in your position. I was with my ex for 5 years thinking i would not leave him and show him love unlike the elders who disfellowshipped him. We would go back and forth and there would be a lot of crying throwing up both sides it was horrible. He believed he was doomed. I thought he would move on at some point since he never went back, and he did a lot of reasearch so he knows the "truth", but that just enough. I know it hurts i am still hurting it has only been 6 months, and he continues to write to me i haven't responded. But to them you are not first. Sometimes you have to let go yes it hurts but in time you will be better off. You have to think about what you are willing to settle for. If you continue to be with him it's harder and you will go through more heartache. This is very stressful and draining and will continue to be believe me 5 years of that. I could not deal with it anymore and felt i deserved better. Believe me your worth more than someone who is as scully says wishy washy about whether you are worth it.

5

need to vent!!

by prgirl79 in

so my ex emails me asking how i am doing and that he wrote to me a month ago he is not sure if i received it.

he sent it to two email addresses he must know i received it!!!

he has been emailing me asking me how i am since our break up.

prgirl79

Cicatrix,

Thanks for your response. I was with him 5 years so i really know what jw's are about. I didn't know in the beginning and thought since he was disfellowshipped then we could work it out. He would comment on certain things theyw ould do yet hold on to not participating in things that were important to me. My friend of 8 years is getting married he would not enter the church. I couldn't imagine someone i care about passing away and he wouldn't go inside the church. i was tired of him controlling me my relationship was on his terms with no way to compromise. I am angry that he thought i was coming back and now he cares how i am like he cared when he never went anywhere with me. he acts like he doesn't understand but he is the one who would say i would leave him, i would resent him and feel free he is right.