. It's the 'Invasion of the body snatchers'.The watchtower has 'cocooned' my 'alienated' family in the cult mind-control, psychopath ,"pods".
you said it danny...it's invasion of the body snatchers meets the Stepford Wives!!!!!
hugs,
fleur
Posts by Fleur
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20
The fall out of shunning
by unbeliever inmy mom has shunned my df'd sister for 10+ years.
my brothers and i are not baptised and she will have a relationship with us even though its very strained.
we have gotten together a few times over the years and had a meal together that mom cooked.
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Fleur
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I need some advise (I want to get divorced)
by Leander ini'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.
however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.
as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.
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Fleur
if i read that wrong and you don't have kids yet...(thanks stephoness for posting that, i may totally have mis-read!) then definitely do not have one thinking it'll make things better.
if you are childless and know that the marriage is going nowhere...then you do both of you a disservice by staying in it. if she can never please you if she stays a jw, then you are both better off getting on with your lives.
with kids...it's a different issue. if there is abuse going on, kids or no, the abused spouse has to get themselves and the kids out, period.
sorry everyone if i read it wrong. hopefully leander will post and clarify...
hugs
fleur
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51
I need some advise (I want to get divorced)
by Leander ini'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.
however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.
as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.
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Fleur
Danny...reading this made me so sad.
I'm 47 born in the 'troof' and I never married.I have a colostomy bag which doesn't enhance one's attractiveness.
you may not believe this, but there are women out there who do not let a physical disability keep them from loving someone. sounds to me like you haven't met the right woman yet, and i hope with all my heart you do, if that's something you want. having that bag doesn't make you any less lovable.
i wanted to clarify my previous post in this thread...if there truly are irreconcilable differences...i mean if you and your wife can't get along and argue esp. in front of the kids then i'd be the last person to tell you to stick it out. my parents always screamed at each other so loud i will never get over how it effected me as a child. it changes your children.
i can't know all the details, i was strictly going by your post, in which you sound so torn. i just wanted to speak up and say don't let the thought of what sleeping with someone else may or may not be be the deciding factor in this. if you do that...if you think with your hormones instead of your heart and brain, you may end up with a lot of regrets later. you may be sorry you left.
but hey, i only know what you posted. so like i said, get thee to a counselor quickly, good man, and then go from there and do what is best in everyone's interest. if you get angry and resentful for staying, that won't be any good for your wife and kids either. she deserves someone who will love her 100%. they deserve to grow up in a peaceful household. and kids can feel the tension, believe me, even if its unspoken. no matter how young they are. some of my earliest memories is of my parents screaming at each other; the only time it was silent was when you were waiting for the other shoe to drop.
another random thought just occurred to me...are you prepared to deal with the idea of who she will marry after you, of who will be your parent's step-father? these are questions you really need to ponder before you do anything. will you be able to handle that? my ex does very badly with that, he is crazy jealous of the good relationship my daughter has with her step dad.
if it sounds like i'm being hard on you i apologize, i don't mean to be. it's just ending a marriage is no joke...and a lot of heartache. and i'm speaking as someone who did initiate the divorce and remarried and is happier now (to escape abuse). even though I am 1000 percent sure i did the right thing for myself and my child, she is th eone who has had it hardest in all of this. i wish i could have spared her that.
hugs
fleur
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The fall out of shunning
by unbeliever inmy mom has shunned my df'd sister for 10+ years.
my brothers and i are not baptised and she will have a relationship with us even though its very strained.
we have gotten together a few times over the years and had a meal together that mom cooked.
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Fleur
as someone who has been left out of numerous family dinners/trips/weddings/ all other social functions that included my siblings in the past six years (including one 'weak' jw who would definitely have been df'd if she'd 'opened up' to the elders about her activities and not kept her mouth shut...) and one never baptized sib, i speak from experience when i say that i think anything you can do to help your sister's feelings heal whether you see your mom or not will be appreciated by her.
99.9 percent of the family events that i am excluded from by my family because i left a man who abused me and then married one who doesn't include invitations for my abusive ex and his new wife. yes, you read that right. the man who abused me is welcome in my relatives homes, but i am not. he doesn't even go to meetings anymore! but yet, he is acceptable company and i am not.
i cannot tell you how badly that hurts.
hang in there, it's not a fun situation for anyone who is in it. your mom can't begin to realize the damage she is doing. and if she thinks such 'loving' treatment will draw your sister back...well, speaking for myself, i can only tell you that if they hadn't shunned me, i'd have been a lot likely to go back.
now?
never. so i guess maybe i should thank them for ensuring that i will never want to be a jw again.
sorry you have to go through this.
fleur
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Is the Devil making you happy, too?
by littletree inthis is my first post, and i'm so excited (i've been reading posts on this site for over a year now; i tried to register back in october 2003, but had some problems.
i decided to just go ahead and use my "real" work e-mail address, which seemed to have worked.
just for a short introduction- i got baptized at 14, on september 1, 2001. and on september 1, 2003, the last day of our district convention, i decided i was never going back.
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Fleur
i got out at about your age, lil'tree, and its astounding how much my mind has stretched and grown exponentially in the past few years. amazing.
"You're damned if your miserable and damned if your happy; I cannot describe the clarity of the moment I realized I was not going back. It was if suddenly everything was alive and in living color! That's why they don't want any members talking to those who left; we are all so well and happy."
ooo, emma, you hit the nail on the head there. my family can't figure out why i'm not a crack wh*re yet. they keep waiting for it to happen, and don't understand how i ended up with the best marriage in the family to a 'worldly' man while being df'd.
my jw female relatives are so jealous that i'm an equal partner in my marriage, not submissive to a 'head'. or any other part of his body for that matter!!!
big hugs and so glad you're free, and here littletree! you too emma!!!!
love
fleur
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advice please!
by blondy ini could really use some advice.
i have never been a witness, but my boyfriend is(3rd generation).
his father is an elder, and his whole family is really into it.
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Fleur
hugs to blondy, ethin...all those in this position.
sadly, you cannot necessarily 'save him' from the organization, especially if his family is all the way in so far back (I'm speaking from experience as a 4th generation jw here). as someone who eventually got out, i can tell you that no one could have 'gotten me' out before i was ready to leave myself. it just can't happen, the indoctrination is too strong, the consequences too great; losing your entire family.
unless he is truly willing to walk away from everyone, and everything in his life to be with you, you will never get a fair shake in this relationship. it will always be a threesome; a triangle between you, him, and great "Jehovah the angry sky god". you can't win that battle.
i know you don't want to hear this, but honestly, this is the advice I would give anyone who was in the position you are in; try to put a few ideas into their head about how the organization isn't all it says it is...see how they take it. if they bolt...then they are not likely going to be able to stand the heat of the elders, parents, or anyone else who will do all they can to convince him/her that you are the very devil.
get out while you can, and find someone who can love you with their whole heart. be sure that he/she knows how much you truly love them, but that you can't watch them self destruct this way by being torn in two over you.
keep us posted, i wish you luck...and if you have any questions ask, this is the place to get answers.
hugs,
fleur
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I need some advise (I want to get divorced)
by Leander ini'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.
however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.
as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.
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Fleur
wow, leander, all i can say is from reading what you wrote, my gut reaction was that there is a lot more good there than bad in your marriage...i definitely agree that you need a therapist to help you sort things out. i would caution you against doing anything rash as the others have said...this is JMO but it seems like you're glamorizing the dating and freedom thing...many people go from person to person in life never knowing what its like to feel really loved...let alone to have a family with someone. don't give up something that has more good than bad in it because you are wondering what missed dating other people.
your actions have greater consequences than just yourself. i would likely answer differently if you didn't have kids...but there are children involved and you have to proceed very cautiously with whatever decision you make.
if you truly can't go on married to someone in the borg go slowly...get help, and then consider carefully the consequences for each action you take. a night of pleasure is over in a few hours; the effects on those around you last a lifetime.
wishing you luck...keep us posted, k?
hugs
fleur
edited to add a ps: i don't know what country you're in, but likely you two would end up with split custody of the kids (i speak from experience) or she would get it altogether; meaning the kids will still be going to the kingdom hall. there may be little you can do to prevent that. all you can do, whether you stay with her or go, is to be there for your kids unconditionally, love them no matter what and that is something that no dub can give them.
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Fleur
i am so, so sorry. no one should have to go through this.
((((((((puternut))))))))
hugs
fleur
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bank/credit-card accespoint in JW-convensionhall
by Ozner inthe 2 jw convension-halls in the netherlands have now a bank/credit-card accespoint to give contribution to the wts with your bank or creditcards.
do you know this happens in other country's?
it is really strange to see that brs&srs are giving donations with their visa & mastercards.
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Fleur
this is just unreal. if anyone had any doubt that they were money grubbers before, there can be none now.
you know, i can see lots of little old ladies on fixed incomes (like my grandmother) putting their plastic in and going into debt to donate to the !(~(&%!&^$! society.
makes me sick.
they are no better than any other church. in fact, they're worse.
shame on them all.
fleur
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New Member :)
by Oh Jebus, Save Me From Your Followers! injust a newbie here trying to aquaint myself.
i can' t say how thrilled i was to find out that this site existed!
it was actually shown to me by my sister - who by the way - with you're help- has seen the truth about the "truth" and is in the process of learning to live a normal life.
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Fleur
welcome divamom and jebus!
Welcome, Jebus!
I love that Simpson's episode where Homer is forced to be a missionary. "But I don't even believe in Jebus!" Then a few seconds later when he's on the plane he says "Save me Jebus!"
that is exactly what i was about to say, great name choice, it gave me a laugh today when i really needed one.
welcome aboard to you! (and any other newbies i may have missed, wow, so many all of a sudden. good times!)
fleur