well, it's been one year since i first came to this lovely board, and i have to say, it's been a lot of good times.
thanks to everyone for keeping the homefires lit.. it was also encouraging to see so many new ones.
i'm happy to report that for the 2004 jwd service year (ends dec 14), we had spectacular growth.
My cat sends his warm greetings.
ROFL.
Friends, would we like to convey our warm greetings back to brother Seattleniceguy's cat?
*insert weak @ss applause here* LOL
Be sure to show your gratitude by making a contribution in the box on your way out, kitty LOL ;)
i seem to remember someone saying one time that if your cursor won't control, and goes all over the screen, it means you are being hacked.
mine is doing that, but not all the time.
it is very irritating.
oh, come on, Mulan...you know what it is...it's DEMONS cause you come to this site! ;)
Honestly, though, I have heard that about the mouse and hacking thing. Do you have a firewall? Can you run spybot seek and destroy or a similiar program to be sure that you don't have any trojan horses or anything on your machine?
I don't know if a mouse would move the cursor on its own because it's broken, usually when a mouse dies on me, the cursor won't move at all.
hopefully someone with more expertise can help you out more than I have I just couldn't resist lol
love you!
essie
growing up as a witness makes it nearly impossible to deal with the "world", as a child.
constant pressure is put on witness kids to conform.
most lead a "double life" out of necessity.
...turning down a full music scholarship at the age of 18 because my parents said it wasn't theocratic and I'd have to move out and support myself to do it. nevermind that they let my troublemaker sibling go to school for a similiar arts degree...while they supported her and paid her tuition just because it was "keeping her from getting into worse trouble"! I was terrified to be on my own in the big wide world. Even when the music professor offered to help me find a roommate (he was gay so it wasn't like he was interested in me himself) and said that I could quit my day job that moment and make money singing to support myself through school.
Of course, I wouldn't have my daughter if I'd done that, so I can't say it's really a regret, but it's something I wish that I could've done. Now my health is too bad for me to go back to school. I will always wonder what I could've done.
essie
it wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back.
that back had already broken.
it was more of the last nail in the coffin for my allegiance to the wts.
I guess the one thing the turn the lightbulb on for me was when I was at a witness friends wedding. The elder giving the wedding talk said how the wedding rings had pagan backgrounds, but that JW's didn't recognize them like that. I thought "Wait a minute here!!". The main reason witnesses don't celebrate Christams, Halloween, Easter, and other holidays is because they say they have pagan origns. Then when a "worldly" person says that they don't recognize the pagan background and just like the family togetherness of the holiday, the witnesses say that's no excuse. The holidays still have pagan origins and are not right for Christians to celebrate. After that I really started looking at things in a different light
That always got to me too! It's like, how do you pick and choose which pagan customs to follow? because wearing wedding rings is an outward sign in public that you're married? Couldn't you just tell someone that you're married if they show interest in you especially if it meant keeping the congregation clean of pagan practices? *rolling eyes*.
Give me a frigging break...
i'm thinking of telling my mother i can't talk to her anymore sine i don't agree with how she is conducting her life.
occasionally, i'll meet up with her and my jw aunt (they work together) with both kids in the car.
my aunt will come over to check out my baby but completely pretend that i'm not even there.
I am slowly winning back family members, because, I do treat them better that I get. Other non-JW relatives, also see the difference with the love and concern I can show, as diametrically opposed to the "good Christian Jehovah's Witnesses".
Rabbit, it has nothing to do with getting even...I tried for years to get the family back by giving better than I get, and it just got to the point where I couldn't allow myself to be abused that way any more or my child to be subjected to seeing it.
They know that I love them, that my door is always open to them as is my heart. They just have to accept me the way that I am. If they can't...then we wouldn't get anywhere, anyway.
hope this makes sense, off to bed for me...
essie
first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.
i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .
i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.
Yes, I do want to be baptized, but because of the one change which is impossible for me to make, I probably can't get baptized anyway.
Dear fairchild,
You seem like such a kind and sweet soul, what could it be about you that you cannot change that would prevent you from being baptized? Whatever it is, I believe that people are born to be who they are. Meaning that if you're born with certain traits, orientations, or anything of the sort, that you were born that way just as if you were born with blue eyes or brown eyes. As long as your actions do not harm others, then what is the issue with being acceptable to god?
You said that you believe that JW's are 'closer to the truth than anyone else', why is that? I would recommend that you research their history FULLY, read as much as you can on this site, I also recommend a site called www.freeminds.org that will take you to all kinds of very important information about how the Watchtower Society came to be and the real issues that need to be known before anyone commits to joining this religion.
I personally don't believe that JW's have all the answers. I was born and raised as a JW, most of my family is still. But I'm not choosing to raise my child as a Witness. Why? Because I don't ever want what happened to me, to happen to her. The thought that she could be disfellowshipped, cut off from every friend she ever had growing up and the family she needed at the time, because she divorced a man who treated her badly and married one who treats her like gold, is unthinkable to me. That I would be expected by the congregation to shun her if she took such action to make her life better, to be happy, is unthinkable to me.
But I know it can happen. Because it happened to her mother. It happened to me.
Please don't be down on yourself for whatever you believe is 'keeping' you from becoming a JW. I am not sure at this point in my life what or who god is, (agnostic) but I do believe that if he is up there, that no organization is needed to have a relationship with him. Your love and faith is all that is needed, that's what the Bible says, anyway. Anyone exercising faith in him and his son, right? So what is the need of a big religion for that?
Keep posting, keep asking questions, and keep learning. I am happy that you found your way here.
hugs
essie
edited for typos because it is very late and I am very tired. Goodnight all :)
first of all, thank you very much for taking the time to read this.
i hope that i am putting this in the right forum.. .
i studied as much about different religions as i could and read every book available to me.
Welcome to JWD, fairchild. I hope that you will find comfort and important information here.
Before you commit to joining the JW's, I would recommend that you research their history first. Read all you can about how they have come to be what they are and how they conduct business within the religion. Learn all you can about the subjects of shunning before you get into the baptism pool.
You have been through so much already in your life, proceed with caution in your studies and be really sure of what you're doing before you join up with them.
Again, welcome.
hugs
essie
i've been reading dr. phil's new book family first.
one of the factors he includes in creating a "phenomenal family" is to establish meaningful rituals and traditions, and i'm finding myself having lots of .
whether it was the traditional holiday dinners you enjoyed at your grandparents' or the vacations you took every year with your parents, we all remember events and celebrations that define who we are as a family and how we are connected to one another.. the only definition our family had once my parents got involved with the jws, was being jws.
Scully, once again a brilliant post. I have to get that book...I'm behind on my Dr. Phil. It makes total sense that they would try to abolish these things that forge strong family ties, so that the individual tie to the cult is stronger than the individuals tie to each other.
My family had only had one real tradition...visiting a certain spot for vacation every year, sometimes twice a year. Grandparents came with us most trips. So it's no wonder that one of the most comforting, if sad, things to me after my grandmother's death was the fact that we had a trip planned to that very place coming up soon. It was hard to go but once I got there, I felt so connected to her love, remembering, going places we once went. It kept me sane in those first weeks after her passing. In a way, it felt like going home.
Rituals and traditions ARE important. We're trying to establish some good ones for our kid. One of them is to read "A wish for wings that work" by Berke Breathed every Christmas Eve. I can't believe it'll be our fourth Christmas doing it. We all look forward to it...I can't wait. It'll be here soon.
I'm sorry about your childhood :( i'm sorry about all our childhoods. I wish I could just give you a big ol' hug right now.
love,
essie
well i fianally saw the orthopedic surgeon the other day and from the results of my latest tests and x-rays my left hip and right knee need to be replaced as soon as possible.
my hip is so bad, and that explains why i have been in such tremendous pain.
so this wednesday coming up i am going to the hospital for a floroscopy with cortisone both in my hip and knee.
((((((((OFC))))))))))) living with chronic pain is no fun :( I hope that you can get better and feel better SOON!
hugs
essie
the air trembles as the plane approaches.
several miles off, presumably.
the whine of the engines sharpen, and the sounds start to reverberate through the walls.
MB...reading your post brought a tear to my eyes, because being a parent, I want so much to think that life will be better in this world when my daughter is my age for her children than it is now for her. All I can think of is that famous quote:
"We must be the change we wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
I can't change the world, I know that. But I can do all I can do, every day. Just the little I can do isn't much. But added together with what others can do, it's something.
We can only do our best, and hope for the best.
hugs
essie
