Fleur

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Posts by Fleur

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  59

  I am hurt, my wife had a miscarriage and still my family didn't contact me

  by jwfacts in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  two weeks ago my wife had a miscarriage at 11 weeks.

  it is very sad as it was to be my first child and my wife is already 39. what hurt the most though is that none of my immediate family contacted me.

  i was d/f in january and did not expect to hear regularly from my parents and sister.

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  Fleur

  I've walked in those shoes...I'm so sorry about your loss.

  ((((((((hugs))))))))

  essie
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  57

  Disposable People

  by MerryMagdalene in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  since my mom decided she needed to put full shunning back into effect again (an unconscious new year's resolution to be a better jw?

  ), i've been ransacked by a whole bunch of emotions which have been gradually resolving into thoughts.

  the sense of being completely disposable, expendable, replaceable.

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  Fleur

  Oh, man. Your post brings back so many memories to me of days when I felt like I must be worthless if my family thought I was worthless.

  Then I realized the scale on which they measure 'worth' is totally out of whack with the rest of the universe...with what is sane, reasonable, and honorable. Throwing people away like trash is a horrific practice, in the end I discovered that shunning has actually protected me from JW relatives who had bad motives as far as their relationship with me anyway; I gave, they used. When I stopped giving to the Borg, they got angry. The longer I stay out, the angrier they get, the more they rage, and the more they lose.

  I remember telling my older sister when she decided to shun me fully on instruction from her elder husband that she would miss me more than I would miss her. And it's been true.

  After awhile, I realized that the people who would throw me away so quickly were the ones of questionable worth.

  Seek out a family of your own making, dear heart. Find where you really belong, and with whom (and I don't mean seeking romance, if you're single) build a network, and revel in love that really is love; for who you are, with no strings attached.

  Hoping this makes sense...brain fog today.

  hugs and understanding,

  ~essie
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  100

  Kingdom Hall Spankings

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  most meetings i went to, children were brought to the washrooms in the back to be disciplined.

  often i could hear a child yell or cry due to the spanking given by the parent.

  people in the hall would have that look on their face meaning that it was alright to discipline a child by spanking him.

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  Fleur

  ugh, ugh ugh. Memories, so many memories.

  I got smacked more at home than at the hall (wooden spoons, big Avon hairbrushes, even) but saw kids get far worse than me at the hall and it always bothered me so much. Saw a kid my age once smacked till she threw up. The mother walked out of the bathroom and just left the child there in that condition, cold hearted *****!

  I once beat on the door of a stall at a district convention and told the woman inside if she didn't stop hitting her child I would call the police. I was not kidding. I was only a teen at the time but I saw her haul the kid (he couldn't have been two years old) into the stall by the am with his feet dangling off the ground, I thought she was going to kill him. Shew asn't wearing a name badge, I told her that she needed to stop, immediately.

  If I'd been older I'd have called the cops anyway, regardless of whether or not she stopped. But I didn't know how to handle it and a room full of grown women watched and said nothing.

  I wonder what ever happened to him.

  so sad

  essie
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  47

  Are you in a cult and want out? Be on the Dr. Phil show!

  by Dogpatch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are you in a cult and want out?

  be on the dr. phil show!.

  http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugid=9833do you feel you're involved in a cult?

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  Fleur

  lady lee as always asks good questions; I would add, is there any chance anyone from your JW past could become violent toward you or any family/children you have if you appeared on such a show?

  I have used many aliases, gone to great lengths to protect my identity for the sake of myself and my child from what I consider to be an unstable element from my past. I would advise anyone who may have someone with questionable temperment in their own past to indeed, proceed with caution.

  I have always wanted to see Dr. Phil take on the JW mindset. He seems to take on groups that are not as easily 'mainstream' as JWs as far as beliefs go (as far out as we think they are, they can actually explain away a lot of their dogma and make it sound reasonable; on the surface).

  I've seen him take on cults with child brides, etc, but I wonder if he'd be willing to touch the JW issues.

  As always, my love to you Dogpatch :) *mwah!*

  hugs

  essie
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  145

  Do you oppose Gay marriage?

  by LittleToe in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  inspired by this thread:.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/107010/1.ashx.

  personally i'm hetero, though a few of my gay friends would like me to be gay .

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  Fleur

  judgebruce (off to hide in the wardrobe)

  Hey, Unc, there's room over here in my phonebox! :)

  No, I don't oppose gay marriage.

  Love is love, and judging is left to the JW's, who I left a long time ago. Life is too short to worry about what other people do in their bedrooms. To me it would be like saying people with brown eyes can't marry eachother. Ridiculous.

  Love, marriage...all souls are entitled to it, IMO.

  ~still in the phonebox after all these years...(but not in the closet, I happen to be hetero LOL)

  essie
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  90

  List of family/friends lost to the Watchtower cult? (suicides)

  by hubert in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after reading about puternuts (ari) suicide, and also reading about sabine and js losing their daughter to this cult, i think it would be a fitting memorial, so to speak, to write a list of all the people we know who died because of this cult.

  i also know that cruzanheart lost her dad to it, too.

  i'm sure there are many here that can make a list of suicides brought on by the shunning/threatening policies of the watchtower cult.

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  Fleur

  I don't want to disclose names due to respect to the victim's and their family's privacy. I knew two friends one a young family man who jumped off a building after being df'd. He had a kind personality, he went through a lot throughout his life, yet he was positive towards others. Too good a person to be in such a destructive cult.

  If memory serves, this was a friend we shared, Myself. I loved him dearly. He was too beautiful for this world that can be so ugly and cruel in the "light" of the JW cult.

  I knew another...a young pioneer who I had a huge crush on in my teens. Stories varied...but I think he was gay. Heartbreaking.

  hugs to everyone who has lost someone they loved...

  essie
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  98

  Sad news from Maui

  by Makena1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we went to our favorite beach, met up with some of our local friends.

  we don't have much in the way of details - but heard some devasting news that ari (well known to seattle area exjw's and i am sure by many on the board) killed himself sometime over last weekend.

  he was so excited about moving to maui, and starting a new life here.

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  Fleur

  Oh, no.

  So very sad...just heartbreaking.

  Rest in peace, Ary...

  ~essie
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  53

  THE MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR THREAD!

  by Dansk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please post your christmas and new year messages here so that we can keep them altogether:

  merry christmas & a happy new year to everyone on jwd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  ian, claire, karl & dominic

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  Fleur

  Wishing everyone joy, hope, peace, and health in the new year to come...

  all my love,

  essie
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  35

  Emotional Baggage.............

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wifey and i left the dubland fantasy two years back, after a lifetime of that religion.

  we know we have made the right choice.. i thought i was over all the 'stages' of this exit.

  this past week i have been feeling great anger over the loss of my 'friends', and the great injustice of the 'shunning' policies.

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  Fleur

  I'm sorry for your pain. Been there, felt that, believe me.

  Blondie makes a valid point. I didn't realize for the first few years of grieving that the people that had dumped me like so much garbage when I left the org. were the ones who used me up and bled me dry emotionally and physically. Psychic vampires, I've heard them call before. Takers, users, whatever term you describe them with, there are similiarities in the personality types of these people.

  It takes someone with a big self righteous streak to be able to shun so coldly someone who has stood by them in good times and bad. As the years have gone on since I 'lost' almost everyone and everything I knew since I was born, I have realized how much I have gained.

  It's perfectly normal to grieve the way you are, be kind to yourself. These things come in waves.

  A bit farther down the same road, I have discovered that the people that shun me...they miss me, and what I did for them, a lot more than I miss them.

  I wish you peace...

  essie
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  43

  Elder's School Notes Part 1: Quit being so materialistic, you slackers!

  by sir82 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ask, and ye shall receive.. i will herewith post my notes from the km06 elders school i recently attended.

  i will post this in 6 parts, to give people a chance to read smaller chunks and comment on them.. a couple of introductory notes: i wrote an awful lot of stuff, and will not post everything.

  for each talk, i will post 3 sections: (1) general synopsis, (2) personal thoughts & observations, (3) particularly egregious quotations.. the primary speakers, who delivered more than 1/2 of the talks, were a circuit overseer and a guest from brooklyn bethel.. to protect anonymity, we will refer to the sadly inane circuit overseer as brother sico.. and the old-timer lifelong brother from bethel, completely out of touch, as brother bethel-coot.. one more introductory comment: it seems the main points the society wanted to send to elders were:.

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  Fleur

  Geez. Beating the same old drums and same dead horses.

  They told my parents not to get married or have children because the 'end was so near'. That was in the 1950's.

  They're grandparents now.

  What if my dad had listened and not put anything away for old age? So many did, and they're in deep trouble now. Sad that they're trying to sabotage another generation with the same song and dance.

  Essie