is he a molester?
a nut?
a gifted musician??
michael is a freak and is seriously screwed up in the head. the fact that he sees nothing wrong with his behaviour should be all the proof anyone needs. he needs to be locked up. but i think hes innocent of molesting those kids.
hell, lock him up for tax evasion or something stupid. or they could pass some new law with the only purpose being to put MJ away. call it the "Michael Jackson Is a Creepy Dude so We're Gonna Lock Him Up" precedent.
i've heard this said by a few ex-witnesses in my three years away from the organization, and have sometimes said it myself.
sometimes it is said in the context of, "i'd like to move on, but i just can't stop thinking about them.
could it not be that one of the reasons ex-jws "can't stop thinking about" the organization -- and their past involvement with it -- is that they daily log onto this site, read about the society and talk about them?
Call me callous or condescending, but I don't believe most people do much "moving on" here, at least not mentally and emotionally. Is there really much objective discussion of the organization and the psychology of leaving it? Or is there a group-think mentality in which anything and everything about the JWs is horrible?
i don't care for lots of opinions/mindsets on other boards. so you know what i do? i dont read those boards. it's not rocket science. if i have nothing in common with people that post on model railroad websites, i just don't post there. i don't go and try to change them (even if i think model railroads are lame). methinks you have more in common with the "few" that you are writing to than you'd like to admit. that's why you have a hard time looking away.
talk about wasting too much time thinking about something...
.
what is the most ridiculous song that you couldn't listen too.. because of so called bad lyircs (maybe misheard lyrics), sexy beat or because fo the person who sang it didn't have the proper morals?.
mine.... couldn't listen to ac/dc because it meant they went both ways.
i had to buy rancid - out come the wolves 4 times because my parents kept throwing it out.
they also didn't like silverchair - frogstomp. it was funny because at the same time my mom was getting real into the beastie boys. go figure. i conceded silverchair because i had a pretty big stockpile of pantera, slayer and sepultura in the closet. (shhhh!!)
firt of all, a bit of background.
i'm 26 years old, am a math major/english minor senior on a full scholarhip in college, was raised as one of jehovah's witnesses, babtized when i was 18, left at ~ 22/23, am now agnostic/deist/confused.
i was raised on a farm in a witness family.
I know that their compromising their faith by speaking with me would be a cause of great turmoil for them. Why should I hate them for that?
i hear ya. i don't hate my family for shunning me. i hate the leadership for telling them to. i also hate my family's weakness in letting them be told that they can't do something that they want to (a fine line, but i can't disrespect someone for standing up for their beliefs. my parents however, are not. if they were strong, they would speak to me). but, "hate" is such a strong word. i am disappointed and disrespectful of my family and their actions, but hate is counterproductive especially from a mental health standpoint. that doesn't mean that i should pretend their bad behavior doesn't bother me.
I think everyone here (including myself) feels inadequate. I think many here resent Witnesses because they were made to feel inadequate. But, I don't think blaiming the Witnesses for feelings of inadequacy is fair. No friends, that feeling of inadequacy will be present no matter your course in life.gotta disagree with ya on those points. inadequacy is learned and can be beaten. many on this board are wonderful examples of that.
i've heard this said by a few ex-witnesses in my three years away from the organization, and have sometimes said it myself.
sometimes it is said in the context of, "i'd like to move on, but i just can't stop thinking about them.
could it not be that one of the reasons ex-jws "can't stop thinking about" the organization -- and their past involvement with it -- is that they daily log onto this site, read about the society and talk about them?
LR:
i gotcha. sorry for the confusion.
i was just referring to your final statement:
Take some time away from this board. It will change your perceptions of the organization and your relation to it.
this is not necessarily true for everyone. i know that when i initially left, i was so conflicted. i felt like there was only one correct way to leave and since i was having a hard time, i figured i was "doing it wrong". there's no such thing. there's only what's right or wrong for YOU. for some people its far more cathartic to hang out on boards like this rather than convince themselves that they shouldn't need to.
our witness family was obsessed with demonism.. at a very early age, i was introduced to strange stories of demonism.
a brother in the congregation had brought home a souvenier doll from a tropical island as a gift for his daughter.
the daughter would talk about how the doll would come to life, but the stories were dismissed and attributed to the child's imagination.
there were times when i was young that i would basically beg the evil powers that be to show themselves. nothin happened. i'd lay on my bed listening to the most likely to be demonic music i had (at the time, superunknown) and just wait. nothing. ever. and i was hoping to see something. even if there are demons out there, they are apparently completely flaccid.
awhile ago, my mom asked if i ever had those nagging doubts that the witnesses were right. i said that i was told that when i left, my life would go straight to hell (so to speak), nothing would go right and i would probably be bothered by demons. i told her that after i left, my life was great, my job couldn't be better, i'm healthier mentally than ever before. i waited for the demons to make an appearance but they never came (it was supposed to be a metaphor for my life not going in the crapper). she just said, "how do you KNOW they didn't come?" i just laughed. if i can't see something, can't tell when it is or isn't there, and has no ill effect on my life, than i'm not going to worry about it too much.
do you socialize with your neighbors?
everyone knows how we as a religious group only socialized with each other, then when inside the hall, we only associated with a select few, those who were deemed worthy of our association.
now that you are out, or in varying degrees of staying within the borg, are you allowing yourself to get out and mingle amongst those in your community?
Do your neighbors think you're crazy because you don't socialize other than the traditional hi and bye?i don't think so...but all my neighbors are crackheads and hookers. (i'm really poor)
i've heard this said by a few ex-witnesses in my three years away from the organization, and have sometimes said it myself.
sometimes it is said in the context of, "i'd like to move on, but i just can't stop thinking about them.
could it not be that one of the reasons ex-jws "can't stop thinking about" the organization -- and their past involvement with it -- is that they daily log onto this site, read about the society and talk about them?
So my point is: Don't think you HAVE to go through a lengthy voyage of "deprogramming" to be "normal" again. And don't think that the reason your mind gravitates toward the JWs is because it just does this naturally. It very well may, but feeding that thought by participating in ex-Witness discussions only makes it easier for your mind to dwell on past and present pains related to the JWs.Take some time away from this board. It will change your perceptions of the organization and your relation to it.
for most of your post you give some awesome advice (i.e., do what you need to to get on with your life whether it be on boards like this or taking time away from them.) but you then proceed to tell everyone still reading that they SHOULD take some time away from the board.
while time away from JW issues may be the right thing for some, the last thing some people reading your advice need is to take some time away from their support group. everyone is different and has different situations to deal with. your advice may be good for some, but for others, the additional stress of feeling like the "have to" stop thinking about or talking about their experiences as witnesses may be detrimental.
But, could it be that sometimes we cause Witness contacts to act strangely or hostile toward us...because we expect them to? What if we just treated them like normal, good people? Would they act accordingly? Perhaps.
gimmee a break...i'm glad this worked with your situation but that doesn't necessarily make it true of even a fraction of the people reading this. but i hear ya on treating others how you'd like to be treated. doesn't mean they'll return the favor.
just my 2 cents.
when your other half is out of town, or you just have the luxury of being alone, what is your favourite way of passing the time?
The volume of our music seems to be thing that units our genders in this instance.
yeah, that and the pants thing. there are 2 kinds of guys: guys that don't like wearing pants and guys that haven't tried ditchin em yet.
so my mother suprised me about a week ago by telling me we are going on a bus trip to bethel from april 13-17. for those of you who aren't used to this concept, american dubs seem to think that packing themselves on the bus with 60 other witnesses and driving for 4 days is somehow going to strengthen themselves spiritually.
well, i doubt that will work for me.
i was just wondering, is there anything i should look for/ be on the alert for?
if you're going to Wallkill, take as many pictures of the dining room/kitchen/waiters and send them to me. seriously. i used to work out there and i wonder how many of the guys i worked with are still there (probably not many...). i was thinking about taking a tour myself, but i have a feeling that might not turn out so well.
there;s nothing really all that interesting to tell you to look for on the tour. it's pretty dull from what i remember. they don't show you the game rooms with the pool tables and ping pong tables or the gym. that's probably the most interesting thing out there. the pool is pretty nice but i don't think they bring the tours out there (there may be some of the gorgeous bethel wives out sunning themselves...)
