Posts by ConcernedMom

3

Riding the Fence

by ConcernedMom in

jw
friends

i've posted here before about my teenaged daughter's boyfriend (yes brenda, he's still here...) and his "liberal" jw family.

i understand those who fade or choose to stay in because of family ties...and there have been a few posts by those who still believe but choose a more worldly lifestyle--i think that is where this family is at.

i was giving the boyfriend a ride home the other night and he was talking to my daughter about how his jw friend's parents had decided that they couldn't associate with his family because they didn't do enough for "the truth".

ConcernedMom

I try not to directly criticize their beliefs to him...I'm afraid it would open the door to his parents passing on their propaganda to my daughter. I do give the information to my daughter and she passes it on to her boyfriend when it comes up. That way, she is also prepared for anything that might come up when she is with his family (for example: "You get better medical care if you refuse blood." "There is no need to go to university--this system is almost over.") She has spent a lot time lately explaining our family's Christmas traditions. If it weren't for a freak snowstorm Christmas day, he would have come for dinner (Jehovah's intervention???) Mostly, I try to just show him that us "worldly" folk aren't evil lol.

3

Riding the Fence

by ConcernedMom in

jw
friends

i've posted here before about my teenaged daughter's boyfriend (yes brenda, he's still here...) and his "liberal" jw family.

i understand those who fade or choose to stay in because of family ties...and there have been a few posts by those who still believe but choose a more worldly lifestyle--i think that is where this family is at.

i was giving the boyfriend a ride home the other night and he was talking to my daughter about how his jw friend's parents had decided that they couldn't associate with his family because they didn't do enough for "the truth".

ConcernedMom

I've posted here before about my teenaged daughter's boyfriend (yes Brenda, he's still here...) and his "liberal" JW family. I understand those who fade or choose to stay in because of family ties...and there have been a few posts by those who still believe but choose a more worldly lifestyle--I think that is where this family is at.

I was giving the boyfriend a ride home the other night and he was talking to my daughter about how his JW friend's parents had decided that they couldn't associate with his family because they didn't do enough for "the truth". I don't think they have been officially marked, just by this other family. He was very hurt/offended and felt that this was totally against what the religion taught--in his mind, to be loving to everyone. I kept quiet but my daughter gently pointed out that, although his own family had taught him that, the shunning was actually typical more "normal" JW behaviour. He was quiet for a minute then asked, "Is that how it's like a cult?" A different friend of his was recently made to break up with his worldly girlfriend of 3 years. Yet, his own family has several nonJW's, including mixed marriages, and they all still seem to get along fine. His mom has told the 3 kids that they are not allowed to get baptized, but they do still go to some meetings. I think he is feeling the conflict between the official rules and his family's interpretation.

In the long run, I think it's great that they are telling him to think for himself but it doesn't correspond to what he sees in practice from the other Dubs. For any of you in similar situations, how do you reconcile having one foot in/one foot out for your kids?

9

How many do you think there really are?

by ConcernedMom in

whenever i hear anyone referring to "false" gods or "the one true" god, it reminds me of the old game show to tell the truth.

#1: i am the one true god.

#2: i am the one true god.

ConcernedMom

Whenever I hear anyone referring to "false" gods or "the one true" god, it reminds me of the old game show To Tell the Truth.
#1: I am the one true god.
#2: I am the one true god.
#3: I am the one true god.
Do you really think there a multiple beings out there vying for our votes like mudslinging candidates in an election?
Personally, I've always felt that, although we might disagree about the nature (or very existence) of God, we were still talking about the same being.
Just wondering...
Deb

18

I need help...really really bad...

by crazzae`face in

i'm almost to the point of an emotional breakdown.

i go out with this guy he's 20, a jw and i'm a 16yr.

he basically breaks all the rules in the book; adultry, sex;oral, drugs, drinking, partying, he's even growing a little chin,bottom and top lip hair.

ConcernedMom

So many issues involved here and so much I could say but it's already been expressed better than I could so please listen to the advice you've been given...

40

for those who listen to Christian music....

by missy04 in

jw
friends

what are your favorite songs??.

i love "shout to the lord" .

and "i believe in god.

ConcernedMom

One of my current favourites is Chris Tomlin's "Unfailing Love". I also like Sinead O'Conner's version of "Make Me a Channel of Your Peace" from the Diana Tribute--very subdued but I like the prayer...
I like a lot of Switchfoot's stuff too.

37

Who here still finds it hard to celebrate Christmas?

by dh in

jw
friends

i was raised a jw and as i've probably said before, i left when i was around 18... i'll be 27 in a few days, and as i get older realise how i do not really know how to celebrate anything.

being raised a jw we never had xmas or birthdays (or any celebration), and since none of the friends i had when i left the jw's were christian either, i have to this day never celebrated it... i am not christian and will openly admit that i couldn't care less about the religious side of christmas, but what i see around me, everywhere in the world are people who aren't really christian either, celebrating christmas, either for kids or friends or whatever, but i've never done that or had anyone around me to do that with... people look forward to this time of year so much, they buzz and rush around like it's a real event, and to this day i've never been able to feel that way.

most of my christmas/birthdays since leaving jw's have been spent by myself, completely devoid of celebration, i want to get into that feel good spirit, but i don't know how, and if i try to fake it, i know it is fake.

ConcernedMom

I have never been a JW and my whole family does Christmas in a big way, but mostly because almost everything we do to celebrate is part of longstanding family tradition.
We always have Christmas Eve with my sister's family followed by midnight mass, the kids get to open one present before bed (usually new pajamas so they will look good in the Christmas morning pictures), my mom comes for brunch Christmas morning, we go to my sister-in-law's on boxing day and so forth. The decorations have all been around for ages, many of them made by the kids (some were from when I was a kid and some even belonged to my husband's grandma). So while a lot of how we mark the holiday doesn't have much to do with religion, it does have a history for us.
I can imagine that if you didn't have that history, it would be harder to get into the spirit of the celebrations...but there's a first time for everything and as you find the things that fit you and your family, you can build new traditions.

71

My sad news

by Fe2O3Girl in

jw
friends

as some of you on the board knew i was expecting a baby, i feel i should let you know that things have not worked out for us.. when i went for the 20 week ultrasound scan last thursday, severe problems were found with our baby's internal development.

only one kidney was detected, and it was very enlarged and polycystic.

there was no long term hope for the baby at all; if it survived to full term it could only live for hours at most.

ConcernedMom

That is so sad...I'm so sorry for your loss.--Deb

41

Teenagers

by Purza in

jw
friends

i am the mother of one teenage daughter.

i don't really know where i am going with this post -- i just know that i feel like i am going crazy.

my daughter is 14 and is a very smart kid.

ConcernedMom

I know I'm late jumping in here but I want to ditto the "choose your battles" advice. You have said wonderful things about your daughter in your first paragraph and they are far more important than the fact that her bedroom is a mess (unless there's rotting food in there, just close the door). I, too, am the chauffeur for my daughter and her friends. I have come to really value that time spent alone in the car without the distractions of the phone, chores, TV, MSN etc....sort of like a captive audience. We have had some of our best talks in the car. I get to hear all about what has been going on, get to know her friends better and be a fly on the wall sometimes. In 3 months, she will be old enough to get her learner's license. Some of her friends (including her boyfriend) already have their licenses and they now want to be independent...that's far scarier. Enjoy the time that she still "needs" you and make the most of it.---Deb

15

keeping track of Jehovah's Witnesses

by Incense_and_Peppermints in

.

hmm.... http://www.freakypixel.com/service_year.

http://www.cpfsoftware.com

ConcernedMom

Okay...I opened a different browser and typed in the address. The page loaded correctly...I get the "Apostate..." notice only if I go directly from this site.

15

keeping track of Jehovah's Witnesses

by Incense_and_Peppermints in

.

hmm.... http://www.freakypixel.com/service_year.

http://www.cpfsoftware.com

ConcernedMom

When I go to the first link, there is no map...it just says "Apostates are not welcome here"