mamochan13

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Posts by mamochan13

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  5

  Medicine (for JWism) vs. Healing

  by Markfromcali in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was thinking how the exit process as facilitated by people learning 'the truth about the truth' is rather like treatment of a disease, medicine can get rid of it but for example we know how chemotherapy can be hard on the body.

  healing, then, would be something different and may be necessary after the 'harsh medicine.

  ' it's easy to resort to 'time heals all wounds', but when the wound is really deep obviously it helps to have something other than just sitting around waiting, because you're probably going to wait a really long time.

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  mamochan13

  I had to separate myself completely from family for a while in order to heal. Changing the language is a good suggestion - stop calling it "the truth"! I enrolled in university, which really helped. It was also helpful to embrace many customs that were forbidden - celebrate xmas, birthdays, mothers day, etc. I joined a political party and became active in union events, the first time I voted was a real rush! I learned the words to the national anthem and proudly stood up and sang at first opportunity. It may seem insignificant, but every little thing you do that was denied you as a JW is another small step towards becoming whole again.
  

  And don't forget the importance of educating yourself regarding doctrine & practice. The more you learn about how wrong these things were, the easier it is and the better you feel.
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  60

  Coming clean about what's been going on lately, I need to talk......

  by Jez in

  1. social
  2. family

  well, my sil and best friend came to this site on my recommendation (jw).

  i just wanted her to check it out without judgement as we have always been able to talk about everything.

  she basically was disgusted, said it was full of crap and lies and would never look at it again.

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  mamochan13

  I can't add much to what others have said - just hugs & understanding for what you are going through, Jez. Hang in there - you are a true friend, we need more like you!
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  13

  What went against your nature

  by Satanus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in the dub life, some things that were against my nature that i did were giving talks, door to door selling, classroom debates, exclude myself from school activities, shunning dfd ones, not doing the pagan/christian celebrations, and um,, abstaining from sex.

  on the other hand, some stuff i liked was studying some of the ideas in the books, although my enjoyment of this tapered off.

  i sometimes enjoyed arguing doctrine and attacking evolution.

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  mamochan13

  A lot went against my nature, and like Lady Lee, I'm still working through much of it. Two things stand out.

  1. disfellowshipping. I always hated this. Where possible I tried to make contact with people who were df'd, to encourage them and help them.This was long before it ever happened to me.

  2. not being able to be involved in community support activities. I always wanted to be part of my student union, engage in protests, vote, write letters, participate in social change, join committees, make donations, and help other people. I never fully subscribed to the notion that going door-to-door and offering bible studies was all that god required of us when it comes to social obligations.
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  25

  Garage sales

  by poppers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  from reading this site i've learned that jws frown up buying used clothing etc.

  from second hand stores because of possible 'demonization.

  ' my neighbors are jw and i notice that they have fairly frequent garage sales.

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  mamochan13

  LHG - I wouldn't laugh. My mother's experience was very real to her. I don't believe in demons or garage sale connections, but I do believe in unexplained paranormal events.

  If you can find it - the book I'm reading is called "Sex and the Paranormal" by Dr. Paul Chambers, 1999 Blandford: Orion Publishing. It discusses the phenomena you experienced, so you are certainly not alone.

  I've also had some intense "demon" dream experiences, and they are very scary.
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  56

  Are You or Were You Ever On Meds For Depression?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know so many people, not just witnesses that are on zoloft or similar drugs.

  i know of some that, once they left the "truth", stopped taking these meds and have not had to go back on them.

  i know of some that, if they did not have them, would not be able to properly function......what about you?

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  mamochan13

  yes, I went through several different brands during the years I was df'd and after being reinstated. None of them worked for me, in fact made things worse. But there are so very many people who are helped by these medications, I hate to give a bad experience. Depression meds can be a life-saving option.

  And Code - you are NOT alone. You have friends here who can make you a safe place.
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  25

  Garage sales

  by poppers in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  from reading this site i've learned that jws frown up buying used clothing etc.

  from second hand stores because of possible 'demonization.

  ' my neighbors are jw and i notice that they have fairly frequent garage sales.

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  mamochan13

  we were always cautioned against buying second hand items in case they were demonized. My mother had an experience. She had purchased some chairs from a catholic used store. soon she noticed a funny odour in the basement where the chairs were stored. She started to get freaked out. Then odd things would happen each time she went down the stairs, so she convinced herself that the chairs were to blame and must be demonized. Finally one night she had a terrifying "dream" in which she believed she was actually sexually assaulted by demons. The next day she threw the chairs away & everything was fine.

  The demons being attached to possessions is a common belief. But what I found interesting, the other day I came across a book that explains the nocturnal demon sexual assault phenomena as something experienced across cultures and all over the world. Details vary, depending on belief systems and cultures.

  I do not discount the power of the mind, I know my mother truly felt and believed the whole thing, but I also know it was because she convinced herself it was so.

  I don't believe in demons, devil, etc., anymore, but I do think there are some things that happen that seem to support the belief. I also think there is a scientific explanation.

  However - I LOVE garage sales!!!!!! so glad spring is here - since garage sales are soon to follow! :-)
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  36

  Comments You Will Not Hear at the 4-17-05 WT Study

  by blondie in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  paragraph 5.

  paragraph 6.

  paragraph 7.

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  mamochan13

  Well done and well said, as usual, blondie.

  Like jgnat, I picked up on the nasty implication that non-jw's (unbelieving mates) are de facto bad spouses & parents simply by nature of not being jw's. The comment that children will benefit from the faithfulness of the "christian parent" (discounting the contribution of the other), and that all non-jw men waste money and use abusive language...is a sickening attitude, and terribly dangerous to one's mental health, as pistoff says.

  No wonder as kids we had no respect for my non-jw father. And he was(is) a good man - never heard him utter a swear word in my life (unlike my jw mother), nor did he ever waste a penny of his hard-earned money. I'm sure we would have benefitted to a greater degree from his many good qualities, but we were brought up to view him as unworthy. We were not allowed to go to him with our troubles, since he was apparently unable to provide us with good counsel (read non-jw). i still find it hard to talk to him and have a healthy relationship with him. Breaks my heart.

  I also enjoyed your historical overview of Wt attitude towards women's "weakness". Nice to know that hasn't changed one iota (not that I expected any enlightenment among the blind).

  As a side point - the "exhausting trials of being pregnant and giving birth" certainly merit consideration, but pregnancy and childbirth is not an illness (nor is menstruation for that matter), and I'd suggest that women actually prove themselves physically superior through these particular feminine attributes.
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  64

  what song couldn't you listen to....

  by loosie in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  .

  what is the most ridiculous song that you couldn't listen too.. because of so called bad lyircs (maybe misheard lyrics), sexy beat or because fo the person who sang it didn't have the proper morals?.

  mine.... couldn't listen to ac/dc because it meant they went both ways.

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  mamochan13

  The chicken dance (based in paganism?_

  anything by fleetwood mac, stevie nicks (she was a witch)

  Lets spend the night together

  Also heard recently that they condemned Macarena
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  25

  Regrets

  by Blueblades in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  do you beat yourself up about things you should've, would've, could've done with your life, instead of becoming one of jehovah's witnesses.what regrets do you have, if any?

  what are you doing now to overcome your regrets?.

  blueblades

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  mamochan13

  I did regret not going to university, but I turned that around. I regret the missed opportunities in life, and the missed opportunities for my daughters.

  But regrets are not progressive, so I try to take the veiwpoint that everything happens for a reason. In some ways I'm glad I had the experience I did because it made me a stronger person, capable of a level of compassion and empathy I might not have otherwise developed. As Paul Anka says so eloquently, "regrets, I've had a few, but then again too few to notice".
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  43

  Watchtower study - so long and so boring

  by Donkey Lipz in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remember going to sunday meetings...the public talks went by fast (sometimes).

  but the watchtower study to me was so boring and not interesting at all.

  it felt longer than the public talk.

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  mamochan13

  Guess I was a geek like Zaph - I saw the WT study as a challenge and prepared by looking up all the scriptures and using them effectively in my comments.

  As Blondie says, though, it was rare that elders ever commented, and I noticed that from early on. And yes, Blondie's reviews are far more insightful than anything I ever heard at a meeting!

  Now the public talks - they were usually sooo boring. i would have taken a WT study any day over a public talk.