Posts by Balsam

29

Death

by desib77 in

jw
friends

i know, i know this is kind of a morbid subject but the subject actually came up between my husband and i the other night.

we have two completely different backgrounds and we have discovered that we want diff.

things to be done to us when we die.

Well I have had differing views over the years I've thought about death. I'm 53 years old now. When I was a young person before my exposure to JW I wanted to be cremated, then as a JW I still wanted that and one one ever objected. I hated the thought of being buried in the ground, it creeped me out.

Over the past 10 years, I've had my Mother and Dad to die, they were cremated by their own wishes and share a common head stone and grave. Their ashes are buried there. Then my sister died, she was horrified at the thought of being cremated, but my nephew could afford nothing else for her as she died without insurance. Then my beloved 15 year old son was killed as a result of an auto accident.

This changed everything about how I felt. I had never wanted an open casket for myself before. But I needed an open casket for my son because it was so horrible he being snatched away so suddenly. It also allowed his school friends to grieve for him and experience death for the first time for many of them. There was nearly 150 school children who attended Dak's funeral from his high school. They cried with us all. We had a JW funeral for him which I don't remember hardly at all. After the funeral Dak was cremated, then his ashes were buried a week later next to his grandfather. We had a lovely headstone made of him canoeing down the river. And his web-site ingraved on it: http://www.mem.com/display/biography.asp?ID=9894 Here we could add pictures of his life, the happy times we shared as a family. How proud we were of him.

I know now that loved ones need to be allowed to grief, and that funeral service are not for those who die, but for those who survive. And we need to go through the funeral process to allow that to happen.

I would never deprive my remaining two sons and my wonderful husband and stepfather to my children to not have a normal funeral for me when I pass. They would need the opportunity to say good bye. And I don't care anymore whether I am buried or cremated, I want them to do what ever brings them comfort when my time comes.

Our bodies no longer are who we were when we die, it is an empty shell, and it makes no difference.

Sometimes life teaches us many lessons even beyond what we think we know. I'm no longer a JW and left the witnesses after Dak died. I existed in a mental fog for over a year. I left his father, and he continued on with the JW's and I didn't. Dak's brothers have left the witnesses too, and are much happier.

Balsam aka Ruth

53

WT's Most Wanted "Apostate" List...

by Confucious in

jw
friends

just for fun guys... .

if the watchtower made a most wanted list, much like the u.s.'s anti-terrorist list.

who would be the top three.

Balsam

AJWRB.ORG and head of of Lee Elder has really done a service in helping active JW willing to read his site become educated about JW refusal of blood to save lives.

Since I work with him I am glad to be a part in educating anyone interested enough to read.

http://www.ajwrb.org/experiences/mary.shtml

Balsam

16

Did you ever defend the Borg?

by dorothy in

jw
friends

i remember when i first started studying i was always so quick to defend the borg if anyone said anything negative about them.

i didn't even have a reason to or had any business doing so because i was so new and didn't even really know anything about it.

and i absolutley refused to believe that they could be involved in child molestation, even going as far as refusing to watch the news shows exposing the real truth.

Balsam

Having been a JW for 29 years, I sure did. Even after I was disfellowshipped and just started getting on the internet message boards I defended them disfellowshipping me. Of course now being more informed I stopped that nonsense. When we believe in something we defend it don't we. When our believe system change, then we quit defending what we used to beleave was true.

Balsam

6

Anybody from NC up in here?

by jaredg in

just curious if there are any other ex-jw's in the area on here.

Balsam

Hi I live in Kannapolis, NC just outside of Charlotte.

Hey generic man we have EX-JW Meet-ups in Greenboro every month there. You ought to come join us.

Have any of you been to the EX-JW meet-ups in your areas. They are a great source of new friendships and old ones.

Ruth Baker you cam email me at [email protected]. Just be sure to say EX_JW in the subject so I don't delete it as junk mail.

Ruth

10

A curious similarity in the new "Chronicles of Riddick" flick...

by Michael3000 in

jw
friends

sound familiar?.

- michael.

feore suffered for riddick .

Balsam

My husband and I went to see this movie. I thought of the WTS as the NECOMONGERS right away. Seeking total control over the world, believing their God will destroy all but them. Thank goodness they are not out killing people. But the mind control is a strong compassion to any cult motivated religion or business. Not unlike the Borg of Strar Trek. "Resistence is Futile".

I love sci-fi movies.

Balsam

45

SURVEY: How Long Have You Been Out Of The "Truth"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

are you still "in"?

have you altogether stopped attending meetings?

for how long have you been "out"?

Balsam

Well had some strong disagreements for about 4 years. Left my JW husband after he let our son die by refusing blood for him after an accident. The marriage was lousy anyway. Was disfellowshipped July 20th 2001 went to some meetings after that, one memorial in 2002. Then I began to really read on the internet and research the WTS. What I found out through their own literatures was enought to break the mind control they had over me. I count myself as being completely free of it mentally for 2 plus years.

It is funny when we think of it. It was a gradual process for nearly all of us. Actually takes a period of years. Even some people who are disfellowshipped still cling to the the believe that God is speaking through the WTS. I have some ex-jw friends who still cling to it even after years of being away from it. I think being free of the brain washing is the real key to freedom and reading is the only thing that will break that. And all one can do is read everything we can and just reading the bible without the WTS can make a difference.

Balsam

44

The Watchtower's Most Heinious, Vile Crime

by TMS in

jw
friends

i described myself recently as no longer angry.. that was a lie.. i am angry at the way jehovah's witnesses treat their most precious.

endowment; their young, developing, stumbling, exasperating, questioning, experimenting, growing,.

offspring.. at the very most urgent time in their young lives; when they need the.

Balsam

My oldest son managed to delay the congregation disfellowshipping him for 3 years after he quite the meetings and all the baloney. But even though he had stopped attending they still spied on him with the help of his Dad who is a rabid witness. He always made sure that they had his current address and phone number so they could harrass him. Well at age 20 and out on his own finally they dropped the bomb of disfellowshipping on him. He has a worldly girlfriend which the Elders told him was a no no. They spied on him and saw her leaving the apt after spending the night. He was disfellowshipped last week.

Then my youngest son who is 16 (lives with his JW Dad and Stepmom) decided about 8 months ago he'd had enough of the WTS baloney and he refused to attend meetings anymore. The elders showed up an tried to get him to talk to him and get him to disassociate himself. Well he just ignored them and refused. They had no grounds to disfellowship. His Dad again assisted the Elders in the witch hunt. My sons have lost all respect for their Dad as a Man or a Man of God. They realize and have said he is a coward and a patsy for the WTS. Both the boys and I have a good relationship. But then I am the one who opened the door to freedom for them by leaving their emotionally abusive Dad. My youngest son refuses to leave his friends and school to move in with me. He just keeps himself separate from his Dad and stepmom. I had told my boys while I was still a JW that I would never follow the WTS policy of shunning my sons if they were disfellowshipped or disassociated. I thought it was wrong and no way I would do it. There Dad on the other hand feels it is a good policy and follows it. He had told the boys that he would do as the WTS tells us to if they were ever kicked out. Trying to make them fearful, but kids are fearless I think. It is the nature of youth to rebel against injustice and lies.

Sad because those who follow it think the Bible and God require it, but that is nothing more than mens reasoning. It's not God's way for those who continue to think God needs something from humans.

Is there a way us ex-witnesses could reach out to those young people who are shunned by their families, even kicked out of their homes. Of course it is against the law to kick a kid under the age of 18 out of the home, but those kids so despritely need emotional support. My sons have gotten it from those other ex-jw's I put them in contact with and are doing fine. But think of all the other kids out there isolated because of being disfellowshipped. What could we do to help them????

If they have computers they find us here, but what about the surrounding communities? Has anyone thought of a way to reach out to the teens who are displaced by the WTS????

Balsam

108

My Story... please don't freak out on me...

by Big Shooter in

my story .

well, i am new here, and i have a very long story.

i don?t even know where to begin.

Balsam

Big Shooter,

I know exactly how you feel. The fear is overwhelming when you finally break down and post here. But everyone is wonderful. I came here almost 3 years ago hoping against hope of finding help. The stress of trying to support your new little family and work, go to school is overwhelming hard. Good for you standing up to your Dad. You and your wife take a deep breath and realize that the dogs yelping at your door really can't hurt you.

When my oldest son now 20 wanted to be free of the Elders harrassment who were riding him trying to get him back to meetings or to disfellowship him because the decided he was not going Jehovah's way had a rough time. Finally a friend gave me the outline for a "Baptism Nullification" letter, which said that my son was forced into baptism by his parents, and the congregational Elders, and the JW community. That he could not be disfellowshipped or disassociated. That only an announcement of him no longer being a publisher could be announced. Thus avoiding the shunning process. His Dad did threaten to shun him and has on a minor level such as eating with him in public.

I will use the same process for my 16 year old who is no longer active. The Elders are so far not harrassing him as much probably because of the letter of Nullification we used for his older brother.

Glad you found your way here.

Sincerely,

Balsam

35

when you go out to eat or for a walk do active jw's shout insults or attack

by topanga in

jw
friends

this is a regular thing now, whenever i go into an upscale restaurant a bunch of jw's start shouting insults and bring up things about my past.. recently i went in to a restaurant i've been dying to try on 14th street and someone on the restaurant staff was telling the other staff members all of my business from the brroklyn heights congregation.. he obviously thought i would give a damn about anything they said.

i just relaxed and ignored them.. when i got up to use the ladies room a bunch of the sisters followed me in fortunately the bathroom was way too small for even two people.

they are some sorry souls, i guess it was like i thought we killed her whats she doing in here?

Balsam

At our last EX-JW MEET-UP some JW came in and sat near our table of 7 people. Well when they heard part of our conversation, they jumped up and moved to a table clear across the room away from us. The looked terrified. Like we had just sprouted horns. We all had a good laugh over that.

I've never been harassed except by one man who used to be in my congregation. He worked at Wal-Mart as a greater, and stepped in front of me and glared at me as I left the store. I just walked around him and my son said Mom you should have decked him by kicking him in the crotch. LOL

I find most of the active witnesses are scared to death of ex-jw's.

Balsam

21

TO LURKING JW ELDERS- THE LIST

by jst2laws in

jw
friends

here is the current list of former (some present) elders .

for over a year i lurked as an elder on h2o and this board.

for some time i feared i was the most evil appointed servant in the history of the organization for lurking here.

Balsam

Hi Everyone,

When I saw this thread, I felt strangely encouraged. The fact that Elders who are so deeply entrenched in the WTS could actually come awake. I have read Amazings story back some time ago, but had felt there was not many like him who was willing to open their eyes. Then got aquainted with Just2laws, and that made me feel even better.

My ex-husband is still currently a strong JW. He was an Elder for probably 10 years, and a MS off and on for probably 8 years. He was a MS when I left him after our son died when he refused a life saving blood transfusion for him.

I hated everything being an Elders wife.

But you know I have pride in seeing that Elders and bethelites can find their way out of the mentality that held all us prisons for too long.

Balsam