Jez

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Posts by Jez

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  25

  I put my dear old dog to sleep

  by Jez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after 2 months of old age and illness, 2 cancelled vet appts, hoping he would get better, tears, frustration, watching him not eat, throwing up, becoming skin and bones, justifying keeping him, i stuck to this morning's appointment.. he was with me for the last 12 years of my life and his life has been entwined in so many of the memories i have.. to tell you about him, would be an essay.

  i just want everyone to know that he was so close to me.

  in the end, i kissed him on his head, said, "good boy, you're a good boy" and he laid his head on my hands and went to sleep.. i love you and will miss your crazy dog ways.

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  Jez

  Unique, I kept asking myself, "What am I waiting for?" Even 1 week ago, I would have refused to put him down, but this weekend, I knew. You will know as well when it is time.

  He hates the vet. He trusted me that I would go and pick him up, like I always do. He stood at the door while I was saying goodbye to him, just staring through, waiting for me to open it and go home. That was and is the hardest, I had to break a trust between us.

  I am so sad. He is gone and it was the only thing I could have done.
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  25

  I put my dear old dog to sleep

  by Jez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after 2 months of old age and illness, 2 cancelled vet appts, hoping he would get better, tears, frustration, watching him not eat, throwing up, becoming skin and bones, justifying keeping him, i stuck to this morning's appointment.. he was with me for the last 12 years of my life and his life has been entwined in so many of the memories i have.. to tell you about him, would be an essay.

  i just want everyone to know that he was so close to me.

  in the end, i kissed him on his head, said, "good boy, you're a good boy" and he laid his head on my hands and went to sleep.. i love you and will miss your crazy dog ways.

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  Jez

  Thank you all.

  It helps hearing your stories. I just can't stop crying today. I have a cat and another dog, so I will focus on them to see if it helps. I (my husband and kids as well) have also complied a list of memories that I will put in my scrapbook along with his pictures.

  I will always have a dog. I buy them from the local shelter and give them a chance.
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  25

  I put my dear old dog to sleep

  by Jez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after 2 months of old age and illness, 2 cancelled vet appts, hoping he would get better, tears, frustration, watching him not eat, throwing up, becoming skin and bones, justifying keeping him, i stuck to this morning's appointment.. he was with me for the last 12 years of my life and his life has been entwined in so many of the memories i have.. to tell you about him, would be an essay.

  i just want everyone to know that he was so close to me.

  in the end, i kissed him on his head, said, "good boy, you're a good boy" and he laid his head on my hands and went to sleep.. i love you and will miss your crazy dog ways.

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  Jez

  :(

  After 2 months of old age and illness, 2 cancelled vet appts, hoping he would get better, tears, frustration, watching him not eat, throwing up, becoming skin and bones, justifying keeping him, I stuck to this morning's appointment.

  He was with me for the last 12 years of my life and his life has been entwined in so many of the memories I have.

  To tell you about him, would be an essay. I just want everyone to know that he was so close to me. In the end, I kissed him on his head, said, "good boy, you're a good boy" and he laid his head on my hands and went to sleep.

  I love you and will miss your crazy dog ways.
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  101

  Strange picture In J W publication

  by BluesBrother in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  .this "new world scene " is from p 190 of the "bible teach " book dated 2005.. it is just a joke.

  they have transformed their key belief into a cartoon type kiddies scene.

  is there no thought of child safety?

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  Jez

  I have not read all the posts, so apologize if this has already been stated.

  The first thing that I noticed in both pictures posted is the clothing. A culture has been components. One of these components is clothing. Clothing often indictates religious limitations, beliefs, respect, etc. How can people still be uniquely dressed, separate from each other and yet "one"? That is one of the reasons for the current dress code amongst JWs. It promotes conformity and uniformity.

  WHY are they showing such diversity in the new system, other than to truly lull readers into such a daze that they will accept anything? How can ppl actually believe this?

  They are extermists. Too literal and too symbolic all at once.

  Jez
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  30

  you call it cognitive dissonance. i call it pain

  by coolhandluke in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was growing up i never watched cartoons.

  i didn't play with other kids who were not of the same faith.

  i didn't curse.

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  Jez

  Thank you for sharing this. You hit it when you said that while we are trying to save others, we have resigned ourselves to dying with the unrighteous. That is one of the things that kept me awake at night, sweating. I never felt like God forgave me for some of the things that I had done when I was young.

  Now I know that it was me. I didn't forgive myself. I have let myself off the hook and am working hard at not allowing that mindset to seep into my life in an unreligious manner. ie. Blaming myself or being constantly discontented. Sometimes it is the purging of a indoctrinated tendency that needs to happen.

  First we get rid of the visible, tangible pain, and then we move on to examining the motives, belief systems, paradigms etc that once defined us. The symptoms are i ndicative of an inner mindset that needs to be examined.

  Thank you for articulating some difficult concepts. Jez
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  54

  Your Favorite Poem or Saying

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  dear friends,.

  my favorite poem is not in vain by emily dickinson:.

  if i can stop one heart from breaking,.

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  Jez

  "The mind is its own place, and in itself

  Can make a Heaven of Hell, and a Hell of Heaven."

  John Milton Paradise Lost
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  49

  What was the reason why you were never made an elder or Ministerial Servant

  by twinkletoes in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the reason i heard constantly by the elders, as to ones spiritual progress in the organisation was, .

  "brothers are appointed by holy spirit.".

  if this is the case, why is god speaking to himself when he says in 1 tim 3 v 6 .not a newly converted man, for fear that he might get puffed up with prideetc.. to re-iterate if god appoints elders, why would he give himself this advice ???.

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  Jez

  Because I was a girl.

  Hay that was my line. Not due to my intelligence of biblical knowledge, my hours in field service, my humility, etc etc...nope simple ol sexism. Not even qualified to hand out assignment papers, do the mikes, say a public prayer, etc. I never ever once thought of this when I was active, yet imagine the silent lessons I was being taught from a young age!

  Jez
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  20

  Dog Lovers? Sad day for me.

  by unique1 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  we found out this weekend that my doggie of 10 years has a tumor in her mouth.

  it got infected and swelled and that was the only way we knew anything was wrong.

  i took her for a biopsy this morning and was told by the vet, that he thought sending the biopsy off was a waste of money.

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  Jez

  I totally agree with Juni. My 14 year old Lab/Shep is sick. He is skinny, has lost 15lbs in about 2 months. I took him to the vet, he is running an internal temp of 41 degrees C.

  BUT he is eating. He was throwing up, but I switched to older dog food, easily digestable AND some puppy canned food, (more fat in it and protein) AND I mix rice with it as well.

  He is not throwing up anymore.

  He wants to go outside for walks still, but I won't take him because I don't want him to waste his energy and get skinnier.

  He is in no visible pain.

  Until he shows worse signs, I am letting him decide when it is time.

  Jez
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  11

  WHERE ARE YOU?

  by Jez in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, my 16 year old is really giving me a hard time lately.

  really horrible stuff.

  i won't get into it but my reason for posting this topic, is that i keep thinking how difficult this is to not be able to be mothered when i need it.. i would never have imagined how hard this is.

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  Jez

  Tigerman: My mother shuns me because she is a fanatical JW that disagrees with my divorcing my abusive husband of 14 years and remarrying. I have been remarried for 5 years. She lives alone. She is a sick afraid person that uses religion as a front for not having to really live life in reality and accept its inevitablities or consequences.

  Frannie: How horrible. I would adopt you as my mother if you lived closer, but I appreciate the reminder that biology is not the only factor in what constitutes a mother. I am trying to meet many older women and ask them questions. Right now, I am enjoying the company of a lovely 85 year old woman I met. She is teaching me how to quilt and her words of wisdom are simple and humourous. Just what I need.

  Evita and Lilly: I feel for both of you. But, my mother has damaged our relationship beyond repair. I could never 'just call her up and confide in her' because that would require trust on my part. I no longer trust her with any of my personal life. She has stomped on it one too many times. I am not willing to throw myself at anyone without reciprical respect. I have accepted that she chooses to die in this world without even seeing me again. That was not my choice, that was hers. She made it the day she decided to shun me and my children.

  Jez
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  10

  Looking it up in the dictionary. (Turned around on me) How embarrassing!!

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey uncle xxxx i thought about it and you know what?

  i dont think i should have to drop one of the two classes, which by the way, havent anything to do with each other.

  what does it matter if i quit band?

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  Jez

  Great story. Yes I have been thinking that alot lately. Esp. with my 16 year old. I have been toying with the idea that my bro-in-law says alot, namely, that the physical part of children is a part of you but their 'spirit' is from somewhere else and is implanted into the physical body.

  Of course, you can nuture or harm their spirits but they do not belong to us, just imported from some other place.

  My 16 year old is nothing like me. I look at her and wonder, where did you come from? This is not how I raised you and I don't know who you are.

  Jez