Posts by BeautifulGarbage

74

What are you in 3 words...........

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

.

don't be bashful........ ok i'll start....... kind, worried, thoughtful.. your go.......

I am scared of my future marriage

by jwbot in

i am watching oprah (right now actually) and the topic hits close to home.

good timing actually, because yesterday i was thinking of talking with my fiance, mike about this very thing.

you see, mike really loves kids, and we plan to have them eventually, its a very important part in our relationship (to him, mostly).

BeautifulGarbage

Someone had said that what my mother said was terrible but I believe the opposite.

Uh, "Someone" here.

Jwbot, I went back reread your first post on this thread. I still think her response to you was awful. I can't imagine telling one of my children that I love their Dad, more than them. Regardless of the explaination. But, hey, that's me. I can think of a hundred better responses.

On the other hand, I do believe that the marriage is the first priority. However, be forewarned, it can be a taunting task to have that time alone once children enter the picture. Stay close to relatives that can help in that sense.

45

I am scared of my future marriage

by jwbot in

i am watching oprah (right now actually) and the topic hits close to home.

good timing actually, because yesterday i was thinking of talking with my fiance, mike about this very thing.

you see, mike really loves kids, and we plan to have them eventually, its a very important part in our relationship (to him, mostly).

BeautifulGarbage

I think what you need to reconcile is that AWFUL answer your Mom gave to you, all those years ago, when you posed the "Who do you love more" question. Obiviously, it had a very hurtful, and profound impact on you. So much that you are basing your decision on whether, or not, to create a family with your future husband. Mom's are powerful figures in most children's lives and I get a sense that you were devastated by her answer and that it hurts you to this day. Perhaps when you are able to come to better terms with this pain, the fear of losing your husband's love to your children will not be as overwhelming. Not to say that it will go away, but it will lessen. I honestly think you might want to consider some professional guidance on this matter. Not long term therapy, but a professional to help you gain some insight.

Unfortunately, trying to describe the difference between loving a spouse, and loving a child, to someone who is childless, is like describing an orgasm to someone who hasn't had one. There simply isn't words, you have to experience it for yourself .

Interestingly, it usually the husbands that fear losing the love of their wives when they are completely captivated by the new baby.

62

Is it ok to be critical of the pope yet?????????

by tyydyy in

jw
friends

censorship borg style.

somebody killed the pope's last poop thread just because someone else was offended when i mentioned that i think that he wasn't such a good guy.

if you think you might be offended by what's said in a thread then don't read it.

BeautifulGarbage

Having just read the thread in question.......

Eman,

You made a bad call in judgement. Not a huge deal, but the thread cannot reasonably called "offensive". Yes, there was a difference in opinion on the opinion of a very public, and powerful man. I certainly think that people are entitled to their opinion. No one step out of line. Just because the man, a dying one at that, was a leader of a church doesn't give him any special consideration.

30

Question for other Parents....

by rwagoner in

howdy all.... .

i have a 6 yo son who is in the first grade.

he was born 10 weeks preemie, was an only child up until about 6 months ago and spends a lot of time with adults - especially me...his goofy but loving dad.

BeautifulGarbage

I work at an elementary school, and some kids simply don't fit the "mold". That being, there ARE children that have serious emotional, and psychological, disorders and the parents simply will not/can't accept that their child needs help. These poor kids struggle with school work and peer relationships. I wouldn't be too hard on the school, they do mean well. Unless of course, they overstep their bounds.

Your boy, having been a premie is at a much high risk for attentional and emotional issues. If you want to have the question answered once and for all, I would recommend a comprehensive multi-disiplinary evaluation done either at a teaching university, or children's hospital. These facilities are generally up to date on the latest research and testing proceedures.

If there is a "problem" it's better to know now so that it can be addressed. If not, at least you can get the school off your back.

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

BeautifulGarbage

The problem is that you have barrelled into this thread and insinuated that if any of us claim that the JW upbringing screwed up our ability to have normal social interaction, we must be deluded and it's really a flaw in our own characters, and to get over it and stop blaming the JWs because it had nothing to do with them. I know you did not exactly SAY those words, but that was the cumulative effect. Your subsequent posts indicate that you stand by that opinion.

I've been reading this thread and I would completely agree with these words. Jez's experience is the exception, not the rule. I'm happy that she was able to enjoy the best of both worlds and perhaps NOT have the heavy JW emotional baggage to carry around. Bottom line is many people are profoundly affected in a negative way. Especially, if one has never known anything else, i.e., raised a JW. Though I think she is entitled to her opinion, her approach needs considerable work.

Jez, it wouldnt hurt you to see the affect your words may have on others

97

How do you women feel about acting stupid to please men and the borg?

by Dragonlady76 in

jw
friends

the quote below was part of a talk in the 90's.

i heard this as a child and thought to myself, how can any woman accept such a draconian veiw?

i was not sure if i had understood correctly so, i brought it up to my bible study conductor maggie, i was appalled that she agreed with this veiw, we debated it back and forth, until i got the upper hand, then she told me that i was to "rebellious and strong willed", and that i "should never get married", that i way i would not have to submit to male "headshit" "headship".

BeautifulGarbage

If I am in a relationship, I don't think that is is very NICE for the other person to display or show off their capability. It doesn't mean that they aren't who they are and it doesn't mean that they are somehow lesser. If they keep their talents in check and don't show up their partner all that is is being a good Christian and a good person and showing love and consideration towards the other person. Period.

Except, of course, unless she's giving ya a blow job, eh? (it's a conscience matter, remember?)

But, seriously folks, this is one of the most idiotic statements I have EVER read on this forum.

12

Need Ideas - Parenting Problem/Question

by exjwshell in

jw
friends

here's a question to all of you parents out there.... do any of you, especially those who were born and raised as a jw, have trouble parenting your non-jw children?...

i've been "out" for 18 years and since then have married and had two children.

i find it incredibly difficult to not parent "witness style".

BeautifulGarbage

My concern would be if the party was supervised by one, or more, responsible adults. If it were, no problem. If not, no way would my kid be going.

49

Mother in law told off for speaking to her daughter

by chuckyy in

my wife and i disassociated 3 months ago and my wifes mother is still a jw....but.....she still sees us regularly.

today, a 'clipboard' elder went down to see her.

he has been her book study overseer for a year and has never once gone to see her even though her husband is dying.

BeautifulGarbage

To the contrary, Jehovah's Christian Witnesses are a faith based on love. (John 13:34,35; 1 John 4:6-12)

49

Mother in law told off for speaking to her daughter

by chuckyy in

my wife and i disassociated 3 months ago and my wifes mother is still a jw....but.....she still sees us regularly.

today, a 'clipboard' elder went down to see her.

he has been her book study overseer for a year and has never once gone to see her even though her husband is dying.

BeautifulGarbage

My Grandmother, who was a slave to the society, never shunned any of her DF'd children. Even when the screws got tightened in the early 80's and her "slaves to the society" adult JW children began to shun their DF'd siblings. It was something she simply could not do and, I suppose, figured that Jehovah was just going to have to understand.