Posts by beckyboop

24

What the WT took from me.. is it gone 4ever?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i was raised jw, so i have nothing to go back to as far as belief.

the wt has been exposed to me as nothing but a bunch of lies, coverups, failed predictions, interpreting the bible to fit their teachings etc.

now i stand here,,,,,,,,,,,, with no belief system at all.

beckyboop

((((((((((((((((((((((((((DEDE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

First off, here's a big hug to you! There are many here (including myself) who understand what you're going through. Although for me it was very confusing at times and still is, the best part is you are free to figure things out yourself!

I would like to suggest something, especially considering some of the comments here and because of our "biblical" background. If you decide that you are going to do some religion/spiritual/bible searching, please take the time to research the Bible THOROUGHLY before even considering any religion who uses it excessively. Once I found out that many books were written years after things happened (makes you wonder), how much the Catholic Church used it's influences (hmmmm...) in what was included, and that there are other accounts of people who met Jesus and weren't included in the Bible--I had to let those things sink in to be able to put the Bible into perspective. It really makes you start wondering about what was left out or changed to fit the Catholics ideas.

One thing that really helped me personally when I started asking other's about their belief's/religion--I always find out what happens if you disagree. Are you condemned to hell/earth, burned at Armageddon, kicked out, shunned, etc? I knew I didn't want to involve myself with ANY other group who tried to tell ME what I could/could not think/believe/do. The happiest part of my search was I did find groups like the Unitarians and Unity groups that accept people of all faiths and include the various beliefs in their teachings/sermons. For some reason (enter sarcasm), I always thought that NOBODY else is happy or could possible teach anything worthwhile other than the dubs.

Good luck to you in your search Dede--it's fun to be able to visit other churches, read any book I want about any other religion, and have fascinating conversations with all types of people about their beliefs without judging them or condemning them. I respect that others can believe in things that I don't agree with; at the same time I appreciate it when others respect me and my desire to learn. You may enjoy reading about Taoism, buddhism, and other Eastern ideas. They help fill a different void in each of us that the bible never filled for me. Keep us posted--I love hearing about what others are going through.

Love,

Becky

40

Thread for support of diet and exercise...tips

by LyinEyes in

last nite in chat i had a good time talking about different weight loss strategies and exercise.

i am trying to get myself in shape ,start walking and my diet is in need of a major overhaul.

what do you think is the best way to get in shape?

beckyboop

Lyin Eyes,

Blood type A's should be vegetarian--and those who aren't generally end up with their gall bladders removed because they can't process the meat well. I have good friends who maintain their weight very well when they eat mostly vegetarian, and supplement it with fish and occasional chicken or turkey. The best thing about it is how you feel--you feel like your body is actually working properly.

If you'd like to read more, you can usually find the books at your library, or local health food store. The first book is Eat Right 4 Your Type, the next is Cook Right 4..., and the 3d is Live Right 4...by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo. His father (among others) did a bunch of research years ago, and he continued it with amazing results. He has a web site-- www.dadamo.com

Here's a couple of quick suggestions--foods that encourage weight gain are: meat, dairy foods, kidney beans, lima beans, and wheat (in overabundance). They interfere with your body's natural digestion process. Foods that encourage weight loss are: vegetable oils (olive, flaxseed), soy foods, vegetables, and pineapple. There's much more information and explanation that makes sense if you research it--hope this helps!

Love,

Becky

40

Thread for support of diet and exercise...tips

by LyinEyes in

last nite in chat i had a good time talking about different weight loss strategies and exercise.

i am trying to get myself in shape ,start walking and my diet is in need of a major overhaul.

what do you think is the best way to get in shape?

beckyboop

(((((((((((((((((((((LyinEyes))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for such a great thread! I too eat for emotional reasons--and it sucks because food tastes good! I doubt I'd have a problem if there weren't so many good things to choose from. I also have a hard time getting motivated--mainly because I don't like to exercise alone. I definitely do much better when I'm in a class--I love belly dancing and water aerobics. It's a shame you don't live closer--because I need to start back up again. We have moved 3 times in the past year--so I can understand what you're going through.

I love all the suggestions given here, and I wanted to add my 2 cents worth. A few years ago I heard of eating according to your blood type. I have since done a lot of reading on it and have "tested" the various ideas. For instance, I'm blood type B, and I found out that chicken, corn, and wheat are not digested well by my body (causing weight gain) because of lectins found in those particular foods. Well, I LOVE chicken and corn (I used to eat 3 or 4 ears of corn or a can of cream corn for dinner). I decided to cut them out (except for rare occasions) and ended up losing about 50 pounds. I walked some and did a once a week water aerobics class and once a week belly dancing.

During the time I tried this, I asked around to find out more information. It turns out that almost ALL of my friends who are blood type A (which should be vegetarian), have had their gall bladder removed--because they were meat eaters. The whole premise is based on the idea that where our blood originated from and the foods our particular ancestors ate affect us today. It has been the most consistent and logical explanation as to why some diets (ie. Atkins etc.) work for some but not others. I've met vegetarians who were extremely sickly and unhealthy--because their bodies craved meat for fuel, or who even gained weight because they weren't getting the energy they needed from meat sources. Blood type O's should avoid potatoes because it causes arthritis--my mom's an O and has it bad in her hands.

Anyway, I don't mean to ramble--just though you might be interested. Feel free to email me if you have any questions (or just for moral support). I think that most of us could use support to eat better and take care of ourselves.

Love,

Becky

45

Who has HELPED YOU grow?

by jst2laws in

jw
friends

thank you for your encouragement.

i was so impressed when my wife called and told me i was mentioned on the jwd thread "who are the smartest posters here".

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=42252&site=3 i felt bad for the truly smart posters on the board who were linked in any way with the likes of me, and disappointed that not enough credit was given to those as oldhippy, janh, norm, kent, hilarystep, larc, pathofthorns, jt, and hawkaw all who should have been listed near the top with the others identified.

beckyboop

jst2laws,

Thanks for saying that about my ex. He and I are still the best of friends--we were married for 8 years. And I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would never have gotten out of the borg without him--so he's very precious in my eyes.

It's taken me a long time to give myself credit--and it's still hard to do sometimes. I tend to beat myself up for the years of LIVING that I lost while being a jw, but the fact is I'm out now! Needless to say, I'm still trying to catch up!

Becky

45

Who has HELPED YOU grow?

by jst2laws in

jw
friends

thank you for your encouragement.

i was so impressed when my wife called and told me i was mentioned on the jwd thread "who are the smartest posters here".

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=42252&site=3 i felt bad for the truly smart posters on the board who were linked in any way with the likes of me, and disappointed that not enough credit was given to those as oldhippy, janh, norm, kent, hilarystep, larc, pathofthorns, jt, and hawkaw all who should have been listed near the top with the others identified.

beckyboop

First, Charlie, my now ex-husband, for having the patience to help me see the "light". Next, Randy Watters, because he told Charlie to be patient with me when he first realized it was a bunch of bullshit. My ex-jw friends in the greater Cincinnati area who left with us helped me to realize that I wasn't going insane, even though I felt like it many times. Jw. com--for providing a place to either vent, share, or just simply read about others' experiences. And last but certainly not least, my boyfriend Jonathan for dealing with the after-effects (day after day) of someone who's left a cult.

I guess I also need to give some credit to myself--because the bottom line is that I made the decision to never go back. Even though my husband knew it was a bunch of bullshit before I did, I had quit going to meetings first--because in my heart I knew something wasn't right. It took a couple of long years before I could finally think for myself, but it was worth the wait.

Thanks for such a great topic!

Becky

36

Wow! A year has gone by?

by Valis in

jw
friends

well i've been here a year today.

just a note to all the great people i have met here and have yet to meet in person.

i remember the day i found this site.

beckyboop

Congrats Valis! Although my boyfriend and I have yet to meet you, we always enjoy reading your comments--especially in reference to certain things we have in common. You and cowboy were the first ones I met in chat; and even though I don't post much or chat often, I always enjoy your experiences. I too feel that the more ex-jw's we meet the better off we are. Our experience can only truly be understood by others who have gone through the same shit.

Thanks for all you contribute--and we're looking forward to a visit to Rhode Island so you can shepherd the local flock! We promise to be very KIND to you!

Becky

47

Suicidal fear of rejection.

by seven006 in

jw
friends

the fear of rejection has once again controlled my life and my actions in an unintentional act of self destruction brought on by how i was raised to view life.

i have come to the conclusion that i will probably be battling this psychological whirlpool of self sabotage for the rest of my life and i do not think i have the ability to completely eliminate it.

talking about it here is a start.

beckyboop

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((DAVE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry that you are having a rough time! Although I don't know you, I can certainly empathize with what you're feeling. It's very difficult at times to separate the jw bullshit from our present reality--no matter how many years have passed. I hope you can find the strength to try try again--hopefully with the woman you were speaking of--she sounds very special to you.

Life is only what we make it, and we have to put our hearts on the line in order to take a chance on love. I guess I finally decided somewhere down the line that it's worth the risk--because you never know unless you try. Besides, you can't ever give out too much love--even if it's not returned. Good luck and best wishes with your decisions. I hope you figure out what you need and find it soon.

Becky

5

Any one here from Lexington KY

by lisavegas420 in

hi, i haven't been here long, but i can't seem to find anyone from the lexington ky or suronding counties.

please send replies soon.

beckyboop

Hello Lisa and Welcome to the forum! I am originally from the greater Cincinnati/No. Ky area, but I live in Rhode Island now. There are many ex-jw's in Cincy, and some of my best friends live near Lexington. I will be in Cincy from Dec. 25-28. If you'd like to meet some more people, please email me with more about you and your situation. My name is Becky Leon, and I have been out of the jw's for about 4 years, but am not da'd or df'd. Hope to hear from you soon!

Becky

21

I am new in here...

by married2rangerboy in

jw
friends

hello all, i am an exjw just trying to figure out whether this is a projw site or not.

i grew up in the cincinnati, oh area, father was (and still is) an elder.

brother died at age 20 because a blood transfusion was refused for him by the elders and he left a wife and little girl behind.

beckyboop

Welcome Married! I am from the Cincy/No. KY area, but am now living in Rhode Island. I'm curious though if I might know you. My name is Becky (Daniel) Leon, and I grew up in the Sun Valley Cong. in Kentucky. I also attended Williamstown, Owenton, and the Spanish Congs. I had many friends over the years from various congs. in Ohio, so perhaps we know each other.

I'm 34, and I left with my now ex-husband about 4 years ago (we were never df'd or da'd). Please feel free to email me if you'd prefer privacy. I will be in Cincy Dec. 25-28, and a big group of ex-jw's are getting together on Friday the 27th. We'd love to meet you!

Becky

40

Regarding Tombstones

by joelbear in

jw
friends

what do i want on my tombstone?.

i've always thought i would have a quote from the jimmy buffett song "he went to paris".

some of its magic.

beckyboop

Joel,

You are correct--none of us really know you. We only know whatever persona you've chosen to display to us on the forum. The funny thing is--we LIKE what you've given us. I hope you find the strength to decide that life is worth living--because you would be sorely missed. I found an old saying that I wrote down during one of my darkest hours--and I read it as often as needed in the years since. I hope it helps a little.

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, 'til it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, NEVER give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."----Harriet Beecher Stowe

That saying has proved true for me many times over now. There have been many times in my life (leaving jw's, divorcing hubby etc.) where I thought things could never get better. I finally started figuring out that they DO get better--but I had to work for it. It was worth it--because life can and does get better if you let it. Please please please find someone to talk to!

Becky