another one is being told that apostates were worse than goats because they know better. that those that commit the unforgiveable sin of speaking directly against Jehovah or the Organization would never receive God's forgiveness.
Anyone who dies and before or during Armageddon would no longer be married and would be free to marry who they wanted. and no one would be allowed to marry or remarry during the Great Tribulation until we saw who survived and who was resurrected. (me and my teenage friends discussed how we hoped we were married before armageddon came because it would suck to have to wait 1000 years to have sex)
hey Crystal did you hear the story about the boy that brougth a smurf to a meeting and it jumped out of his lap during a talk and ran out of the KH? I am ashamed to say I believed it.
When a marriage went bad being told by elders and pioneers that if only they had chosen a more spiritual mate this wouldn't have happened. That's what you get for not looking harder.
I am ashamed to say this is my first presidential election, voted locally before. Been out ten years and still had the same complacent attitude of the dubs. Didn't even watch the news for years (although partly because I was afraid of "Peace and Security" being declared). I am even going to have my friend take a picture of me at the polls. it may sound goofy but as an ex-dub and a woman it is so important.
thirdpartygirl: witnesses do not vote or support any man made governments because supposedly they support god's kingdom only and are waiting for the day when his kingdom will rule the Earth directly through his son Jesus Christ. so, they as the scripture, which I may have wrong, says, "give Ceasar's things to Ceasar but God's things to God." meaning pay your taxes and follow the rules but do not violate your faith in God. They feel that God allows man's governments to remain in order to have order and avoid chaos but he will remove them when Armageddon comes. that's it in a nutshell.
can't believe I remembered that much. Anyone, please correct me if I got anything wrong. very rusty with the Bible.
Thank you so much everyone. Someone in chat last night warned me of the personal info. never really thought about it since I only have a very distant relative still in. all of my sibblings have left now and I have absolutely no tie with any dubs. don't even live in a town where I attended a congregation. Still good info to know.
I think the anonymity and the similarity of views just made me gush. For years I just didn't think about my childhood or talk about it much to anyone. I moved around a lot after leaving and never really got close to many people. Plus facing the truth about the "truth" meant admitting my mother, whose death propelled me towards being DF'd, was wrong. Now I am in a good place in life. Stopped running, formed a "family" and support system, going through therapy, living more healthy. Just trying to regain myself. The anger began to build as I began to confront it. Then it got to where most around me had comprehended all that they could. I needed to talk more and understand more. Then my sister sent me here.
I'm sure I will plateau and chill after awhile. Thanks for bearing with me.
when i first got on this site a few days ago i felt so much relief and joy. I was even trying to help others right away because I have been out for ten years already. Now I am finding that other people's comments and memories are bringing up so many of my own that I have suppressed for years. this is just like being in group therapy all over again. relief, pain, happiness, comraderie all in one. I feel that I am saying way too much about myself. not sure if it is ok to be so open. especially about my family. I really don't know you guys. yet at the same time i can't seem to log off. i was late for work today because i stayed on so late last night.
i was going through my things the other day and i came across a journal i used to keep at quite a young age.
the mentality there is just scary.
i was quite the budding writer with my big words but can you see all the canned thoughts and phrases lifted from the dubs and dropped into my grammar and writing style.
reading that just really made me cry. when i was a child i used to pray to jehovah to make my stepfather not hurt my mother and myself. I thought if i could just be good enough and set the best example he would see that we were good children and love us and be a good father. after ten years of their marriage i prayed to jah and asked him why he couldn't release us from our horrible situation. i sat with a razor in my hand telling myself I just couldn't do it anymore. the only reason I didn't is because my stepfather called for me and I got in trouble for still being awake. i quit keeping a journal at the age of 12 because my stepfather used to read them. they were all about how much I hated him and couldn't wait for the paradise when he would be forced to be a perfect husband and father. i am glad that I destroyed that one journal years ago.
keep it as a reminder if you need to. but i think sometimes it is good to release it because you will never forget and the reminder only brings pain.
can anyone relate and help with the nagging doubts that it really was the"truth" and we are all doing the wrong thing and being misled.
i have read a lot of information to sway me from the witnesses and to think it is only a man made religion, but still i fear i could be wrong and going against god.
how do you all deal with this feeling that surely most have experienced.
by the way, sorry for the typos. typing faster than my brain is spilling it all out. i could really write an essay for each post because there is just so much coming out right now. i guess i let the floodgates open. or maybe i'm possessed. ha!ha!
can anyone relate and help with the nagging doubts that it really was the"truth" and we are all doing the wrong thing and being misled.
i have read a lot of information to sway me from the witnesses and to think it is only a man made religion, but still i fear i could be wrong and going against god.
how do you all deal with this feeling that surely most have experienced.
Seattleniceguy you said it really well. I left ten years ago and put it aside. that is why i am here now. I haven't dealt with it. didn't even deal with religion or god for years. even defended the witnesses and told people to talk to them. I still had a nagging fealing they were the truth because it was too hard to think they weren't. and the fear and guilt would set in. I had nightmares about armageddon for years. then my beginning four years ago my siblings began to leave one by one. my eldest sister was so hardcore in the organization that for her to leave it was really an eyeopener. it was her that told me to come to this site. she said that scully really helped her through a lot. when she began to reveal the hypocrisy such as the pedophilia coverups,etc. I really began to listen
I still don't know what i believe, I just know that for now I must avoid organized religion because I need to examine everything from the outside looking in. but therapy is a good start. you need to work on yourself and other inner demons before you can truly tackle the effects of the cult. just be open to any knowledge no matter how far out it may seem. then you slowly, and I mean slowly, formulate your own faith.
thank you to everyone else. I keep following sam's posts because you all seem to be talking to me too.
i really can understand the meaning of hate now........ i truley hate what the cult of the watchtower has done to me and my family.... my son was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 20,,,,(his uncle on his dads side also had the disease around that time ))) as some of you know he ended up in jail and a prison term because of things he did while in his schizophrenic state....all the while he was disassociated from the witnesses ,,,so he received no help from the loving elder body ( of vipers)....even when he was in jail,, an elder came to study with the lost ones... and because he knew of my sons situation would not allow him to comment at the prison study.....
but he goes faithfully and sits by himself in his tattered clothes in the back....as we all know the drill....some how he gets back in.... i am devastated..as i have 3 children who never will go back because of their sadistic ,, annointed father and stepfather......who molested his own daughter.....( another horrible story)l its hard for me to write ,,, i hope you will put up with me ,, those of you who know me and even those who dont...this is my therapy... i must write it out....well as it goes he is not welcomed back.. its all for show,,,he cant stop smoking....and so he goes off his meds and is living in the streets...with no help or support from the brothers ,,,a term i use very loosely....he missed the district convention,, because no one could find him and then ......they find him to corner him like a rat (knowing fullwell of his mental condition ) and they disfellowship him......the anger and rage that i feel...is uncontrollable at times......i hate ,, i hate ,,,, i hate so much of what they did to me and sooo many other ss ......forgive me ....this freaking cult needs to be destroyed... once and for all,,, and i will not rest until i rescue my last child from its grip.......( i have one daughter whos 18 that is still in)))) i am cryingso hard now its hard to type,,thank you for hearing my story,,, its just a very small part of what me and my family have been thru ...thanks for listening and peace to you my dear friends...
oh wildfire kls is right. the more you let hate and anger eat you up the more they have one because you won't be happy. as much as it may hurt you have to remember that your son is mentally ill and he may never let go of the fear of leaving the organization. all you can do is love him and enjoy the times you have. as far as your daughter just do the same. talk to her about her future and her choices. encourage her to not marry young like so many do.
my heart goes out to you. my sister is mentally ill and did not receive any medication or therapy growing up because the elders told her all she needed was counselling from the bible and discipline. she has tried to commit suicide four times. she left when I did about ten years ago but it has taken this long to get in a good place. she still has problems and always will but thank god she did not succeed with her attempts.
it is really hard when it is your child but you can only do so much and the left is up to them. they both know you are there for them. keep it open for them to come to you no matter what and they will always remember that. unconditional love always prevails.
