I had a similar experience with a co-worker, I just could not stand her. But gradually over time I began to see that she was a quality person and I began to think very highly of her and finally became friends. I was glad to had kept my initial feelings to myself. Take some time to get to know her a little at a time. Be patient with her and yourself.
squinks
JoinedPosts by squinks
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41
I need your guys thoughts & opinions
by kls inhave you ever met someone and for some unknown reason this person just rubs you the wrong way ,i don't know if it's a vibe they give off or what but something that makes you dislike about that person.
my son who is 21 started to date this girl and there is something about her i so much dislike and i can't help the way i feel.
i have 4 grown kids all have dated and brought there dates home and i was receptive to them all but i cannot to this girl.
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46
Are you Living or Existing?
by Golf indoes your life have a purpose or are you just existing?
over the years i've learned to extract the good out of bad situations and it has given me a different perspective on life.
life is all about learning.
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squinks
Well, Been,
I appreciate your honesty and I so often feel the same way. Not always but often. I wish I could get the optimism of childhood back. You know the kind where you couldn't wait to go out to play because wonderful adventures awaited you every day.
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Did you believe that "the world loves its own?"
by squinks inwhen you got out or were helped out, did you believe that the world was really immoral and that people could do whatever they wanted and no one would care because the world loves its own?
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squinks
When you got out or were helped out, did you believe that the world was really immoral and that people could do whatever they wanted and no one would care because the world loves its own?
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46
Are you Living or Existing?
by Golf indoes your life have a purpose or are you just existing?
over the years i've learned to extract the good out of bad situations and it has given me a different perspective on life.
life is all about learning.
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squinks
Golf,
Interesting question, do I live or exist? Sometimes a little of each. I have four grown children and two grown stepchildren, also four step-grandchildren. I believe that I have come to many of the same conclusions you have but sometimes I wonder if I am a little disconnected from things. I think I am afraid to make deep friendships. I had to learn to do without them and now it seems like so much work to make and keep meaningful friendships for what you get out of it, namely an opportunity to be rejected.
Squinks
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17
If shunning was stopped?????
by chuckyy in.
if shunning was stopped as a result of society policy change, do you think that there would be a significant exodus out of the organization????.
chukky
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squinks
Great Question! Can you imagine the hurt and anger? For those that have been shunning loved ones to find out that the practice is old light? Families are dynamic, always changing, births, deaths and all those little moments that make a life, all missed because of shunning. The outrage would drive them out in droves!
I would be furious myself. It would remind me of how cruel and senseless the practice is and force me to relive the pain and long for all the moments I missed with my sister and my niece and nephews.
But I would have a hard time welcoming old friends back into my life. Even if old dear friends that I have missed over the years came to me in the wake of a shunning recall, how would I ever get back the level of trust it takes to make a deep friendship?
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59
TODAYS TALKS WAS BORING AS HELL..........
by Mary ini actually went to the meeting this morning (okay, sumeone talked me into going)...........god it was boring.......something about jesus and the kingdom and frigging deuteronomy and hebrews and jeremiah-was-a-bullfrog...........and then they talked about old faithful: mathew 28:19 20 "go therefore and piss everyone off selling btochtower and asleep magazines to all the inhabitents of the earth.
an' look: i am with you every frigging saturday morning till the government bans your sorry asses.
i escaped after the first meeting and met the stares of several good christians wanting to know why i was leaving half way through......i told the asshole elder who followed me outside: " i've got my period!!
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squinks
OMG, this is bringing back so many memories, I feel like I'm gonna barf! Mary you are a riot and so right.
And dear Kitties, that sounds so very typical that it doesn't even surprise me, maybe that's why I feel like ralphing!
Reminds me of a "sheparding call" I received many years ago. I was in the process of a divorce from my cheatin elder husband, I had a boatload o kids and no way to care for them, etc. . . I was about ready for the old fetal position myself. I went on 3 day crying jags myself, seriously can you imagine crying for 3 days, dehydration.
The elders that came over were Brother Overbearing and Brother Scared of his Own Shit, as I recall. Brother Overbearing began screaming at me because I was faltering while Brother Scared of his Own Shit sat there with his eyes bugging out. I started sobbing and ran out of My Own House.
And so dear kitties you have company, I am so sorry for what you have been through. Hugs. Speaking of meds, I want to get off the Paxil but the shit is so addictive I can't, well thank god it's non-habit forming like my Doctor said!!!!
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74
my take...
by teejay in... on the watchtower society.
i am not one who will ever bother to waste my time heaping praise on the jw religion as though it were some kind of improvement on society.
i have no qualms in saying that it was, is, and always will be a dangerous religion ?
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squinks
Alrighty then,
Thanks out! One point I tried to make was that JW's do not have a corner on the be nice market. Nice people who care about others exist in and out of the JW's. We may not be out there "trying to make the world a better place" with every move me make, but when we are kind or helpful or caring it can inspire the object of our kindness to do for others and that makes the world a better place.
Did you ever take a walk in a park and pick up some litter and throw it in the trash? Well if you did you made that park a better place with a simple act. Same with kindness. If you are having a bad day and someone smiles at you it can make all the difference and you may be inclined to pass that along.
When JW's are nice, it tends to be for their own. And when they are nice to others it is for the specific purpose of "giving a witness." That point gets pounded into the heads of JW's. When I was in my caring for others was always toward giving a witness. When I left I discovered that I like caring about people because I like caring about people. Imagine my surprise!
And then I discovered that most people "in the world" are the same way. That discovery laid bare the great lie! You know the one, that this world belongs to Satan and is meant for destruction. You who praise the wonderful values you learned as a Witness-you probably would have learned them anyway, only without the superior attitude that comes with it.
We all had it-the superior attitude. How else could we have possibly believed that we would live and the world would die for its wickedness?
My experience upon leaving the JW's, the shunning by family and beloved friends has robbed me of my ability to form close friendships. I have my husband and children and casual friends, but even after more then 15 years I must have a deep fear of being hurt again, because I just don't enjoy friendship anymore, not like I did. I try so hard to get that back, the enjoyment of friends, but so far I just cannot manage it, too painful.
That is the JW legacy for me. I cannot praise any values learned as part of a lie, not when I found out that the very same values are alive and well in the world I once feared as the form and function of some mythical evil called Satan. Yes there is evil in the world, but there is also evil in the JW organization.
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74
my take...
by teejay in... on the watchtower society.
i am not one who will ever bother to waste my time heaping praise on the jw religion as though it were some kind of improvement on society.
i have no qualms in saying that it was, is, and always will be a dangerous religion ?
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squinks
Teejay,
My take on your take,
I understand that you feel it wasn't all bad. If I understand you feel that despite the bad-you wouldn't trade the good. You praise, and rightfully so, the good witnesses who were a part of your life. But what about them? Have they labored their whole lives for a lie? Would they still have been good and caring if they had not been Witnesses? You are assuming that they were good because they were JW's. There are many people who are out there doing their part to make the world a better place who are not doing if towards dreams that will never come true for them or anyone else.
They were doing it to help their "brothers and sisters" get by until the "new system" not to make the actual world we live in a better place. Not to be rude, but are you paying if forward? Are you out there making sacrifices for others like the ones that were made for you from the simple lives of those Witnesses? If not, then you learned nothing from their sacrifice. Their sacrifice was toward one end - to keep you as a witness, not toward teaching you to make the world a better place, because this world would not be here to continue to help, this world is meant for destruction, not salvation.
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Who here still finds it hard to celebrate Christmas?
by dh ini was raised a jw and as i've probably said before, i left when i was around 18... i'll be 27 in a few days, and as i get older realise how i do not really know how to celebrate anything.
being raised a jw we never had xmas or birthdays (or any celebration), and since none of the friends i had when i left the jw's were christian either, i have to this day never celebrated it... i am not christian and will openly admit that i couldn't care less about the religious side of christmas, but what i see around me, everywhere in the world are people who aren't really christian either, celebrating christmas, either for kids or friends or whatever, but i've never done that or had anyone around me to do that with... people look forward to this time of year so much, they buzz and rush around like it's a real event, and to this day i've never been able to feel that way.
most of my christmas/birthdays since leaving jw's have been spent by myself, completely devoid of celebration, i want to get into that feel good spirit, but i don't know how, and if i try to fake it, i know it is fake.
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squinks
Well, here's how it went with me. My first Christmas was 15 years ago. I cried and cried because I still missed my "friends". But as time went by I began to make my own traditions and I cherish the Holidays for what they mean to me.
I will never have the same feelings as a person raised in Christian home, but I have my own peculiar belief system. You will notice that I specified a Christian home. The reason is simple. I don't think Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians even though they claim to be. To them Christ is just a guy, he is nothing special, not really. Also one of the Christian values is love and JW's are sadly lacking in love.
I cannot actually call myself a Christian because I don't really believe in any particular religion. But there are specific things about Christianity that I like.
If this is your first Christmas, of course it will feel sort of strange but believe me-it grows on you.
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31
Out of Curiosity...Does Anyone Believe Anything They WereTaught??
by confuzzed ini think the question speaks for itself?
while there is much we don't believe, there are some things we can't ignore.
anyone agree???
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squinks
Absolutely Not.
The good things I believe in: honesty, dignity, love, kindness, sharing, helping, integrity are things that the Jehovah's Witnesses do not have the right to claim as their invention.
So the answer is not one single solitary thing. Zip, Zero, Nada.
You see, I love my family and friends and I would never abandon them or make them live in fear of losing my love if they do something that I do not approve of .